


Glitter and Shine

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-25
Updated: 2004-06-10
Packaged: 2018-12-27 09:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 90,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12077925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Find out what could have happen after the rage party.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin took one last look around at the apartment he had called home for the last month before bending down to pick up the cat carrier. "Here you go Mollusk. Take good care of Wolfram for us." 

 

"I will Justin." Molly said, lifting the carrier up so she could look at the cat. 

 

Walking out the door with Molly, Justin joined his mom and Ethan in the hall before heading downstairs to the car that is waiting for them. 

 

"Have you got everything?" Jennifer asked. She could see the unhappiness that had been haunting his eyes since he had left Brian and even though she didn't want him to go, maybe this was for the best and would help him to get over his heartache. 

 

"Yes, Mom," Justin said, he knew that she wasn't to happy about him going on such short notice but that it was his decision to make. 

 

"I still don't see why we couldn't have taken you to the airport." Jennifer said as she tried to keep from crying. 

 

"Mrs. Taylor, part of my winnings was transportation." Ethan said. He couldn't understand why she couldn't accept this and was getting frustrated with her. After all, from what he understood, she hadn't been this smothering when Justin had been with Brian. But then of course, Brian had had money. 

 

"I know Ethan." Jennifer sighed. "You boys have a good time and be careful. And be sure to call when you get there, I don't care what time it will be." 

 

"We will Mom and don't worry. We'll be fine." Justin kissed his mom and sister one last time before climbing into the car with Ethan. 

 

As the car pulled away, Ethan noticed the sad look on Justin's face. "You know we still have time to stop at the diner to say bye to your friends." He said as he took Justin's hand in his. 

 

Justin gave a slight smile but shook his head no. "There is one place I would like to stop at though." 

 

Ethan felt a small sinking feeling in his stomach and just knew that he was going to ask to be taken to Brian's. Smiling despite his fear, he said, "Sure, where to?" 

 

"Lindsey and Mel's." Justin said watching the unease change to relief in Ethan's face even though he had tried to hide it. He knew that Ethan was trying to be supportive and give him time but as hard as he tried, Ethan just wasn't good at covering his insecurities. 

 

Justine knew that Ethan had thought he was going to say Brian's, which kind of made him mad. In the month they had been together, he had hardly brought up Brian's name the first week and almost never after that. So he couldn't understand why Ethan would still think that he would go to see Brian. Clamping down on the anger he breathed out a sigh, leaned over and gave him a light kiss. He hoped that it would help alleviate some of his insecurities and for letting him stop at the munchers before leaving the country. 

 

After giving brief directions, the car pulled up in front of Lindsey and Mel's. Ethan decided to stay in the car while Justin went in to say goodbye. He knew that they had tried to make him feel welcome but he just didn't feel comfortable around them. Of course it might have something to do with the fact that their son was also Brian Kinney's son. Brian Kinney, Ethan thought, the bane of his existence. It wasn't like the man had really done anything other then be Justin's ex, just the opposite. He was never around yet he was always there and he hated him for it. He had everything. Money, looks, and Justin's heart. That was what bothered him the most. That was going to change with this trip. Where Brian was still paying for school, it was now summer and he was the one paying for the trip. They were going to have three months without friends, family and most of all no chances of running into Brian Kinney. 

 

Justin walked up and knocked on the door. Out of all the members of his new family it was these two and Vic that he felt hadn't judged him. He knew that Debbie had tried not to but once she found out about him breaking all the rules that he had set and cheating on Brian being the cause of the break-up, she was having a hard time of it. It also didn't help he and Michael were barely speaking because of it and that put her in the middle. Ted and Emmett didn't really judge him but they were to tied up in each other lately to really notice what was going on around them. Justin shivered at his last thought. 

 

Lindsey opened the door with a smile, "Hi Justin, come on in." Seeing the car out front as she closed the door had her curiosity up and she turned to ask Justin about it. 

 

However, as they walked into the living room, Justin was immediately set upon by Gus. "Jus! Jus!" 

 

Justin bent down and picked up the toddler, giving him a big hug and kiss. "I can't stay. I just stopped by to say goodbye." 

 

"What?" Both Mel and Linds said in unison. 

 

"Ethan won the Heifetz competition. It's a cash prize of $25,000 and a trip to Europe to perform with several symphonies through out Europe. He's asked me to go with him and I said yes. I need to get away, to try to find myself again and get over Brian. This past month has been really hard and I owe it to Ethan to give this a shot at making it work." 

 

Mel and Linds nodded their understanding as they went to hug him. "Keep in touch, okay?" Mel said. 

 

"I will and you can still email me at the same address. Keep me filled in on what's going on." Justin said with a smile. 

 

"We will." Linds smiled back. "Have you told anyone else?" 

 

"No, I wasn't sure if they'd care. Justin sighed. 

 

"Of course they care!" Lindsey scolded. 

 

Justin shrugged, "Well, if anyone asks, tell them how to get in touch and I'll write back when I can." I'll be back in time to start the next semester." Justin looked lovingly at the little boy who reminded him so much of Brian. "Don't let him forget me, okay?" Justin asked, kissing and hugging Gus one more time before giving him back to Mel as he walked toward the door. 

 

"He won't" Linds said, wondering if he meant Gus or Brian. Each placed a kiss on his cheek as he walked out the door and down the sidewalk. "Let us know when you get to your first stop." 

 

"Okay!" Justin called with a wave as he got into the car. 

 

As they pulled away, Ethan noticed that Justin had tears in his eyes but wasn't sure who they were for, his friends or Brian. "Are you okay?" 

 

"Yeah, it's just hard saying goodbye to your family, you know? I mean, a lot can happen in three months." Justin sighed as he cleared his throat, rubbed his eyes, and sat up a little straighter with a slight smile. In three months he could forget me." 

 

"You'll see. Everything will be okay and things won't change that much while we're gone." Ethan said. And lets hope that he does forget you. Ethan though and he wasn't thinking about Gus. Reaching over he took Justin's hand, interlacing their fingers. He couldn't wait for them to get on the plane, the sooner the better. Then Justin would be all his. 

 

It wasn't long before they reached the airport and their time was taken up with getting through the lines and onto their plane. Once they were in their seats and the door was closed, Ethan took a deep breath and released it. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he now felt the weight of the great Brian Kinney lift off of his shoulders. He felt free but more importantly, he felt that Justin was now free of any influence that Brian and his friends could and would have had on their relationship. He was going to do his all to make Justin forget. Looking over at Justin still smiling, he again took Justin's hand and squeezed. 

 

Justin couldn't help but smile back, even if it was a little sad and squeezed Ethan's hand back. He liked Ethan and even though he felt smothered by him at times, he was going to give them a fair shot. He was going to move on, find himself, and live his life without Brian. He could do this. He just had to believe. To have time. He just hoped that Ethan would be patient a little bit longer and not push so hard. Leaning back in his seat, he tried not to dwell on anything but the future. Of all the places he was going to go. The sites and art he was going to see. After a while he began to doze off, the stress of the past month finally leaking away the farther he got from Pittsburgh. 

 

The rest of the flight was uneventful and they landed in London right on time. As they gathered their bags, Justin looked around; he smiled a true smile at Ethan and felt a thrill go through his body. He was actually getting excited about what was to come and why not? He was about to embark on a wonderful adventure.


	2. Glitter and Shine

The first thing Justin did once he and Ethan had reached their hotel was to call his mom and Lindsey. Both were glad to hear that he had made it okay and told him to call or email at anytime as they wanted to hear how things were going. 

 

As soon as Justin got off the phone, Ethan pounced on him and bore him down onto the bed. "At last I have you all to myself. No phone calls, no classes, and no jobs to have to run off to." 

 

Justin laughed, "At least for now. In three days you have to report for practice." 

 

"Yes, but that gives us three whole days in which to do whatever we want to do." Ethan joined in the laughter. So what do you want to do first?" 

 

Justin rolled until Ethan was under him. "Well, I know of one thing we can do right away." 

 

Bending down he lightly kissed Ethan's lips. Rising up, he studied the man below him before bending down for a deeper kiss. Slowly, they began to remove their clothes while trying not to break their kiss. Before too long, they were both withering with a need for more. 

 

Justin, with a slight struggle from Ethan, managed to push him over and grabbed a condom. Adding the lube, he slowly pushed inside him. Ethan gasped at the feeling of being breeched but adjusted quickly and pushed back ready to go on. It had been over twenty-four hours since they had last fooled around and they both knew that it wasn't going to take either of them long to cum. 

 

Justin started off at a steady pace but soon sped up, making sure that each thrust was giving them both the maximum of pleasure. Reaching around he began to pump Ethan's cock, after a couple of pulls Ethan cried out while Justin groaned their releases. 

 

Without a word, Justin rolled off of Ethan and got rid of the condom. Ethan rolled up against Justin's back and held him in a gentle embrace. Neither said anything, both deep in their own thoughts while taking comfort from the contact. 

 

Justin sighed and closed his eyes, tired but that didn't stop his mind from wondering. He thought of Brian and his heart ached. He wondered if Brian would even notice that he was gone and if he ever thought of him. Then he wondered why would he. After all, it wasn't Brian who had quit on their relationship. He was the one who had lied, cheated, and broken the rules. 

 

Justin felt a tear slide down his face into the pillow and he was glad that Ethan couldn't see it. He had to stop doing this to himself. It wasn't fair to Ethan and it wasn't doing himself any good. What was done was done and there wasn't any going back. With that thought, he finally slipped into a much-needed sleep. 

 

Ethan meanwhile was also thinking about his and Justin's relationship and of the ghost of Brian that haunted it. Ethan loved Justin making love to him, but he just wished that sometimes they could face each other. Every time he tried to stay facing him, Justin always pushed him over. 

 

It didn't used to be this way. There were times, before Justin had left Brian, that they would face one another, but after the breakup, it quit happening. He wasn't sure why, but felt that one day Justin would quit pushing him over, and they would once again face one another. 

 

He also wished that Justin would let him top, but felt that it was to soon for that. That given time, he would one day be an equal partner in the lovemaking, that they would begin to take turns at being top and bottom. He was sure that Justin had bottomed for Brian, he was also sure that making love face to face was something that they had done as well. 

 

He was just going to have to give it more time but how much? It had already been a month since the breakup and he and Justin were still together. Justin hadn't gone back to Brian, so how much time was it going to take? He hoped that he had the patience to give him the time that he needed. With a sigh, Ethan closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Justin's body as he drifted off to sleep. 

 

They woke the next morning and found themselves both excited to begin their adventures in Europe. After a couple of quick blowjobs to take care of the morning hard on, followed by an equally quick shower, they dressed and went out to explore London. 

 

Stepping outside Ethan asked, "So where do you want to start? Hyde Park? Kensington Gardens with the Peter Pan statue? The National Gallery? You pick." 

 

Justin smiled, "Actually I do have a place in mind. A lot of people overlook it but it has exhibits." At Ethan's puzzled look he continued. "It's the Museum of London in the Barbican Centre. It has some Roman mosaics and such but the main exhibit is basically about London itself. It's history all the way up to modern times." 

 

Ethan smiled back at Justin, glad to see him excited about something again. "Alright, lets go. The Museum of London it is." 

 

They toured the museum until their stomachs reminded them it was time to eat. They found a quaint little pub and afterward went to Kensington Gardens to see Peter Pan before moving on. In the afternoon, they went to Trafalgar Square where they looked at the statue of Admiral Horatio Nelson. They then went to the National Gallery for an hour, then decided that they could always come back as it was free. They left in time to hear the afternoon recital at St. Martin-in-the-Fields that was also being broadcasts over the BBC radio. 

 

After a good but exhausting day, they returned to their hotel for dinner and a good night's rest. Of course sex was definitely on the desert menu. 

 

Afterward, Ethan fell asleep but Justin, regardless of how tired he was, couldn't seem to fall asleep. Finally rising, he went over and plugged in the laptop that his mom had bought him for the trip. Signing on, he was surprised to find several emails waiting for him. With a nervous sigh he opened the first of his emails. It was from Debbie, and he knew that he was going to have some explaining to do. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: JusTaylor@y... 

From: Pflagmom@h... 

 

Sunshine! 

 

Why didn't you tell me you were going? I hope that you have a good time, but know that you will be missed. I'd like to say that I'm sorry if the way I behaved is one of the reasons that you decided to go. I know that I haven't been myself around you, but know that no matter what has happened, I do love you as if you were my own son. I just needed a little time to understand. I always thought that it would be Brian that would be the one who would break your heart, not the other way around. I'm sure that Brian helped you come to the decision to leave but it still hurt him, regardless of what he says or how he acts. Please be safe and happy and come back to us when you're ready. 

 

Deb 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin took another deep breath and blinked away the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Opening up a blank email, he stared at it for a moment to gather his thoughts, and began to reply back. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: Pflagmom@h... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Hi Deb, 

 

I wanted to tell you that I was taking this trip but wasn't sure how you would react. I really need this time away. I don't blame you for the way you reacted at all. If anything, I blame myself. I was the one that came up with the rules and then broke every single one of them. Brian never lied to me or led me on to how our relationship was going to be. I still love Brian but I guess I wanted too much. I don't know. 

I like Ethan and he loves me. At least he says he does. I need to give us a chance and I need to get over Brian as much as I can. I mean, I will always love Brian but I owe it to Ethan to do this. Please don't worry about me. Things are going good and London is wonderful. I'll be back in time for the fall semester. Please give Vic my love, and know that you have it too. I'll keep in touch. Promise. 

 

Justin 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin hit the send button and moved on to the next email. He couldn't help but smile when he saw who it was from. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: JusTaylor@y... 

From: QueenEm@h... 

 

Hey Baby! 

 

I should very upset with you for not telling me that you were going but I do understand. So how is London? Have you seen Prince William yet? What a dreamboat! Have you seen the crown jewels? I think that diamond in the royal scepter would just look lovely around my neck. Don't you? You must fill me in on all the royal gossip that's going on over there, as well as the latest fashions. Well, I'm getting ready to go meet the boys at Babylon. I can't wait to hear from you. 

 

Love 

Emmett 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

To: QueenEm@h... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Hey Emmett, 

 

I know I should have told you but I really didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to try and talk me out of it. London is wonderful. We went to the Museum of London today, then to the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens, and finally to Trafalgar Square, where we went to the National Gallery and St. Martins-in-the-Fields where we listened to the afternoon recital. Tomorrow we're going to check out Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, and Madam Tussaud's. 

There is so much to see and only three days in which to get it all in before Ethan starts rehearsals at Albert Hall with the symphony. We'll be here a week after that, then move on to Berlin, then Prague. I'll keep a lookout for Prince William and I'll see what I can find out for you about the rest. Talk to you soon! 

 

Love 

Justin 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

The lightheartedness of Emmett's email was just what he needed, and he kept smiling when he saw who his last email was from. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: JusTaylor@y... 

From: TotallyDaph@p... 

 

You Butthead! Why didn't you tell me that you were going to Europe! God, I envy you! I'm stuck going camping again with the folks. It never changes, although I do get to take company with me for a little while. Kurt is coming up for a week. Mom and Dad actually invited him. Can you believe it! 

So how are you? You will tell me everything right? I know that you just got there so I'll hold off on my questions until you've been there awhile. (At least a day or two.) 

Stay out of trouble and write! 

 

Love 

Daph 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin couldn't help but laugh and then looked over to where Ethan was sleeping hoping that he hadn't wakened him. When he didn't stir, Justin turned back to his computer and replied back. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: TotallyDaph@p... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Hey Daph! 

 

I know that I should have told you but to be honest I really didn't think about it until we were somewhere over the Atlantic. Me joining Ethan was kind of a last minute thing. So about Kurt, does this mean that mom and dad like him? I can't believe that they invited him out to your cabin for a whole week. You two had better be on your best behavior during that time. I can promise you that they will be watching you two like hawks. 

London has been good so far and as we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow, I'll save the details to give you later. Thanks for writing me and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Talk to you later! 

 

Love 

Justin 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin sat back and smiled. The emails were the perfect way to top off his day. Turning off his computer, he climbed back into bed and fell instantly to sleep. 

 

The next day began with a repeat of the previous day, and once again they were off to explore the city. They went to Madam Tussard's first as it was farthest away, and came away amazed by the displays that they had seen there. 

 

Then they went to Buckingham Palace where they didn't see any sign of the royal family, but the did join the hordes of tourists that tried to get the guards to react. After that they went to the Tower of London and looked at all the treasures there. 

 

They laughed at each other when they caught each other looking around and knew that they were each trying to catch a glimpse of one of the supposed ghosts that haunted the building. They stayed to watch the Ceremony of the Keys before moving on to London dockside, where they stopped at a statue of a woman and dolphin swimming together, to watch London Bridge light up. 

 

That night they ate at a pub called "The George Inn" at Southwark and relaxed. After having a few pints they returned to their hotel and made love slowly before falling asleep in each other's arms. 

 

Ethan awoke not too long after they had fallen asleep when Justin began to get restless in his sleep. He sighed with sadness when Justin started mumbling and whispered Brian's name. He knew that Justin still loved Brian, but the past few days had been so good, that he had hoped that he was beginning to get over it. 

 

Rolling onto his back he looked at the ceiling and thought about his relationship. It seemed that everything was fine, except in the bedroom. He knew that the reason that Justin didn't let him top was because of Brian, but he wasn't going to give up on that possibility. He wanted them to be equals, and not just in what they did outside of the bedroom, but inside it as well. 

 

If things didn't change soon he was going to have to say something, and right now he was scared that if he did, they wouldn't make it. He knew that Justin was trying, but that in itself sort of made him mad. He shouldn't have to be trying. He should be over Brian and in love with him. That's why he should have left Kinney, not because he couldn't take it anymore. 

 

Well, he would get Justin over Brian, and he would do it by romancing him and loving him like he'd never been before, and one day Justin would love him back the same way. With that Ethan felt his eyes drift close, and he didn't think anymore until they awoke the next day together, to begin their last day before he had to start his rehearsals. 

 

On their last day, they went back to London Bridge and took the tour this time. After that, they went to Harrods and Portobello Road. As the afternoon grew late, they found themselves at Regent's Park, and as the sun set in the horizon, turning the sky beautiful shades of orange and red, they took a romantic ride in a gondola. Afterwards, they ate at the Sherlock Holmes Restaurant before going back to the hotel for the night. 

 

After Ethan fell asleep, Justin got up and checked his email. He didn't know why, but he didn't feel right reading his email around Ethan. Maybe it was the way he watched him intensely, whenever anything about his life that did not include him, showed up. 

 

He knew that Ethan was insecure about them, and Justin knew that he probably had a reason to be so. After all, he had been the other man, the dirty little secret who was suddenly not so secret any longer. 

 

Ethan was just going to have to get over it though. There was no way that he was going to put up with it. Sometimes he felt so smothered by it he wanted to scream. 

 

Sighing, he turned on his computer and saw the emails waiting for him. This time he was surprised to find not just three but 6 emails waiting for him. The biggest surprise coming from the fact that one of them was from Michael. 

 

Nervously, he decided to save that one for last and opened the one from his mother first. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: JusTaylor@y... 

From: JTaylor@R... 

 

Hi Justin, 

 

How do you like London? I miss you sweetheart so very much. So does Molly. Do you have enough money? Did you pack enough warm clothes? I know it's summer, but it gets so rainy and cold there. Be sure to take your allergy pills. Let me know if there is anything you need. I love you sweetheart! 

 

Love 

Mom 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin sighed in exasperation and typed off a quick letter telling her that everything was fine and not to worry so much. He then went on to tell her about the past three days and what all he had seen so far. 

 

After that, he opened the ones from Deb, Emmett, Lindsey, and Daph. They all basically said the same thing. How's London, what and who have you seen, how are you, let us hear from you as soon as you can but have fun. 

 

He couldn't help but smile and knew that he was lucky, that these people really cared for him and not just because he had been with Brian. These people were his friends because of him, nothing more. 

 

Nervously he looked at the letter from Michael. He was so nervous, that Brian himself could have written it as far as he was concerned. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for what Michael could have written. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: JusTaylor@y... 

From: CaptAstro@h... 

 

Hi Justin, 

 

Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking with Ben and I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have told Brian. I hope you understand that I was just doing what I thought was protecting my best friend. But what I was doing was really hurting him as well as my other friend. I've gotten used to having you around I guess. You're the bratty little brother that I never had. Anyway, Linds told us where you were and what you were doing. Wow! I hope you have a good time. I know that you probably don't want to work with me anymore but if you're still interested let me know. The first issue is a smash. It's almost completely sold out. Well, I guess I better go. Hope to hear from you. 

 

Michael 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin couldn't have been more shocked if Michael had called him on the phone or stopped him on the street just to say hi. Sitting back, he thought about what he should do. He didn't want to stop working on Rage, but could he forgive Michael? Studying his feelings, he knew that he could, and that he probably already had. He didn't think he could confide in him like he had begun to do, but he could think about him and not see red. Leaning forward he contemplated the screen before beginning his reply. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

To: CaptAstro@h... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Hi Michael, 

Yes it was a shock to see an email waiting for me from you. I do forgive you for telling Brian. I just thought that we were becoming friends in our own right, and I wished that you could have talked to me first. Oh well. That's over and done with. We can only move on from here. I would like to keep working on Rage. I hope that me doing it here, and then sending it to you, either through emails or Fed Ex, is all right with you. If you can send me the ideas that you have for the next issue, I can work on something and get back to you. Tell Ben hello for me and I'll wait to hear from you. 

 

Justin 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin studied his blank computer screen, contemplating a letter he was wanting to write. Just then Ethan rolled over on the bed and begin to search for him. Justin signed off his computer and crawled back into bed before Ethan woke fully and started to question him. Then he began to feel guilty that he felt that way. That was when Ethan found him and pulled him back against his body. Justin sighed and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep. 

 

Waking the next morning, Justin felt good. He crawled out of bed and joined Ethan in the shower. 

 

"Good Morning." Ethan greeted Justin with a kiss as he took the soap from his hands and began to wash Ethan's body slowly. "Why didn't you sleep in?" 

 

"What? You don't want me to take a shower with you?" Justin smiled as he reached down and began to stroke Ethan to a full erection. 

 

"Yes...No...I mean, oh god don't stop." Ethan gasped. 

 

Justin smiled, "Besides, I know you. Once you get to rehearsal, I won't see you until tonight. I just thought that I would get up..." Justin looked down at his hard on and smiled up at Ethan who was watching him. He then began to rinse Ethan off before continuing, "...and have some breakfast with you." 

 

With that, Justin knelt in the shower and began teasing Ethan's cock. Slowly, he began to lick and nibble, as he rolled his balls, squeezing them lightly. When Ethan began to lose his patience at the teasing, he wrapped his hands around Justin's head and began to fuck his mouth. Justin reached up and grabbed Ethan's hips, holding him in place, as he finally engulfed his cock and began a slow steady decent, before slowly rising to just the head, where he would run his tongue around the ridge there, before he would descend to start the whole thing over again. 

 

He could tell that Ethan wouldn't be much longer by the sounds he was making, and began to move faster and suck harder. Within seconds his mouth was filled with Ethan's cum. 

 

Ethan sagged against the shower wall. He smiled at Justin as he rose back up and watched him lick his lips. Looking down he saw that Justin was still hard and knew that there was only one thing to do. After all, he hadn't had his breakfast yet. 

 

Afterwards, they got dressed and went down for a real breakfast. While they were eating Ethan asked, "So what are you going to be doing today while I'm at rehearsal?" 

 

Justin smiled back and excitedly told him what he had planned for the day. "First, I'm going to go back to the National Gallery. Then I thought I'd pick up some lunch at Covent Garden and eat while I do a bit of drawing. Then if I have the time, I might do a little shopping on Portobello Road. See if I can find some gifts for my mom and Molly." 

 

Ethan smiled at his excitement. Justin seemed to be happier today then he had been in a long time. Maybe this was a good sign. 

 

"I'm not sure how long they will keep us at practice, or how much rehearsing I'm going to need to catch up with them. Why don't you check and see if I'm back at the hotel first, and then if I'm not, come by the hall and see if I'm there practicing. Then maybe we can go get some dinner and watch the sunset together off of the Thames." 

 

Justin nodded, "Okay that sounds good, and if you aren't too tired, maybe we can go find a club and do some dancing." 

 

Ethan nodded his agreement but grimaced inside. He had every intention of being too tired tonight to go clubbing. Justin knew he hated going to clubs. 

 

Maybe he could come up with something else to occupy him. A play, an opera, a musical, or some kind of artistic program; anything that didn't resemble anything that Justin did with Brian. 

 

Rising from the table, he grabbed his violin case, and kissed Justin. "See yah later." 

 

Justin smiled, today was going to be a good day. He was going to spend all of his time looking over great works of art by all the artists that he had long admired. Great works by Renoir, Monet, Van Gogh, Manet, Rembrandt, Van Eyck, and Turner among others. 

 

He also couldn't wait to draw again either. Except for working on his assignments to finish out the semester, he hadn't done any drawing for pleasure since he had left Brian. The sudden thought of Brian dimmed his smile and caused his heart to ache, but he refused to let it spoil his day. 

 

Rising, he grabbed his backpack and left the hotel to begin his immersion of the art he so loved. 

 

It was late when he walked into the hotel room to find Ethan waiting for him. 

 

"Where have you been?" Ethan asked, trying not to scream at him. He had come back to the hotel hoping to find Justin waiting for him only to find the room empty. He had been disappointed when he hadn't shown up at all during the day, but to find the room empty as well had at first frightened him, then made him worry, and finally mad. Ethan just knew that Justin had been screwing around on him, and why not? Hadn't he done it to Brian? 

 

Justin looked shamefaced at Ethan. "I'm sorry Ethan, I got so caught up in my drawings that I didn't pay any attention to the time until it got to dark to draw." 

 

Walking over, he placed his backpack down and pulled a sullen Ethan into his arms. "Don't be mad Ethan. I'm just like you when it comes to my art. I get carried away and forget the time. You know you do that as well. Well, so do I. I just haven't been doing much of it lately." 

 

Ethan grumbled but wrapped his arms around Justin before kissing the lips that beckoned to him so enticingly. "I'm sorry Justin. I guess it's just because I've missed you all day, and when I got back to the hotel and you weren't here, my mind started playing the worst scenes it could come up with. 

 

Justin kissed Ethan back but felt himself getting angry when he heard Ethan take a sniff at him. He knew what Ethan was doing. "Ethan? What are you doing?" 

 

Ethan knew that he had been caught and tried to come up with an excuse, but couldn't find one. So he decided to ignore Justin's questions with a question of his own. "Have you had dinner?" He walked over and grabbed his coat. "We could still go out and get something to eat." 

 

Justin just looked at Ethan in disbelief. "Ethan, what is your problem?! Did you really think that the minute your back was turned I was going to cheat on you? I mean, god! I've been with you all this time and never once have I looked or been with another guy. I'm with you. I CHOSE you! I know that it hasn't been easy, but I've been trying, and I thought that you knew that, but without your trust it's not going to work." 

 

Ethan knew that he hadn't hidden his thoughts very well and he also knew that Justin was right. Turning to face Justin, he ran his hand through his hair, a sure sign of his frustration. 

 

"Justin...I know and I'm sorry. I know you're trying, but know that I am trying too. I'm trying to give you the time you need, to get over him, to realize that we belong together." 

 

Walking toward Justin he came to a stop in front of him. "But I'm also scared. I'm worried that you'll never get over him, that you'll decide that I wasn't the right choice and leave me, that..." Ethan paused and looked down at the floor, afraid of what he might see him Justin's eyes, "...that you won't ever love me the way that I love you." 

 

Justin sighed, "Ethan, I know, and all I can say once again is that I'm trying. Let's just leave it at that for now." 

 

Ethan nodded his agreement. Looking up he gave a slight grin to try and cover up his hurt. What had he really expected, for Justin to make some declaration of his love for him? 

 

"So, are you hungry?" 

 

At that moment Justin's stomach gave a rumble and they both laughed. "I guess that answered the question." 

 

Ethan nodded his head toward the door. "Yes, I guess it did. Come on, let's go get something to eat." 

 

The rest of the night was calm and relaxing. Neither one trying to ruin the soothing balm the night was giving them. Once they got back to the hotel and took a leisurely shower and a slow fuck, they fell into a deep sleep that allowed them both to make it through the night. 

 

The next morning started out the same as the one before, as did the rest of the mornings that came for the following week. They'd rise together, shower, give each other blowjobs, go down for food, tell the day's plans and then go their separate ways. Justin made sure never to be late again without calling, and Ethan made it a point of showing that he believed what Justin told him. 

 

Then toward the end of the week... 

 

Justin sat in the Tate Gallery drawing. He had started off earlier in the week, drawing the great masters when the actual people visiting the museums drew his attention away from the great works. That was when he started to do both, drawing the paintings, and the people looking at them. 

 

He was putting on the final touch to his latest drawing when he finally realized that he was being watched himself. Looking up, he heard a voice say behind him. 

 

"You really are quite good. Are you studying somewhere or is this just a hobby?" 

 

Justin turned and saw a man in his late forties, early fifties standing there, studying him. 

 

"I'm a student at PIFA, the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts, and thank you." 

 

The man motioned to the bench beside Justin and he nodded his agreement. 

 

"My name is Bruce Kirkland, and I'm a professor at the Edinburgh College of Art." 

 

Justin couldn't keep his eyes from widening. Edinburgh College of Art was one of the oldest and largest art schools in Europe. "I'm Justin Taylor." 

 

Bruce smiled, "Do you mind if I look at some more of your work?" 

 

Justin handed over his pad and waited nervously for what the man might have to say about his work. 

 

"You know, usually when you find a young person drawing, they are trying to imitate one of the great masters. You on the other hand are indeed drawing the paintings, but more as a backdrop for what is going on in the room. The focus in your drawings, are the people here in the museum. It's quite refreshing." 

 

Bruce was very impressed with the work that he was seeing in Justin's drawings. Handing him back his sketchpad he smiled at Justin. 

 

"Have you ever thought about doing a few semesters abroad?" 

 

Justin shrugged. "I would love to, but to be honest, I can't afford it. I'm only here now because a friend is paying for most of my expenses as he didn't want to come alone." 

 

Bruce nodded in understanding. "You know, you ought to come over to Edinburgh and look over the college. I'd be glad to give you a tour, and if you're interested, the college does have scholarships for out of the country students." 

 

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you serious? Do you think I would have a chance of getting in?" 

 

Bruce looked down at the pad that Justin was clutching. He reached in and pulled out a business card. "Yes, Justin, I think you do have a chance of getting in. Here is my card. If you decide to come over and check out the school, just give me a ring. I'll set everything up." 

 

Justin took the proffered card. "Thank you. I will." 

 

When Bruce stood, so did Justin and he held out his hand to shake. "Thank you for giving me something to think about and I will seriously think about it." 

 

Bruce shook Justin's hand firmly before releasing it to move on. "I hope you do Mr. Taylor. I see great potential in you." With that, Bruce Kirkland continued on his tour of the museum. 

 

When Ethan got back to the hotel, it was to find Justin staring at his computer screen deep in though. So deep that he hadn't even noticed that he had gotten back. Walking toward him, he laid a hand on Justin's shoulder trying not to startle him while he took at look at what was occupying his attention. What he saw didn't help him out any as it was a blank email. "What's up?" 

 

Justin smiled a slight smile up at him. "Oh nothing. Michael has emailed me ideas for the next issue of Rage and I'm just mulling it over, trying to get ideas and how to make qestions without getting him pissed off at me again." 

 

Ethan looked disbelievingly at Justin. "I thought you were through with the comic book! What with the way Michael has been and the fact that it's...it's." 

 

Justin continued to watch the emotions flow across Ethan's face. "What? That it has something to do with Brian? Ethan, listen, you're going to have to accept that he is going to be a part of our lives one way or another. He's loaning me the money to go to school or did you forget about that?" 

 

Ethan sighed, he had forgotten about that little problem. "I know he's paying for your classes, but do you have to be doing other things that will bring him even more into our lives?" 

 

"Look at it this way." Justin reasoned, trying to keep his temper. "If Rage keeps going as well as the first edition did, then Brian won't have to pay for my classes. I'll be able to do it myself." 

 

Ethan ran his hands through his hair in frustration and he felt his anger building at Justin's inability to seeing it from his point of view. He actually would rather have Brian pay for the classes, then he would only see him once a semester, than for Justin to keep drawing him, to have a constant reminder around of what he lost, what he gave up. Then he thought of another reason for Justin not to do the comic. 

 

"How could you work with Michael again after the way he has been treating you?" 

 

Justin shut off his computer and stood. "I know Michael, I've lived in his house, in his room with his mom and his Uncle Vic. I even work with her. So don't go judging him any more then the rest of my friends, my family. Michael was a shit and he knows it. He wrote me and apologized." 

 

Ethan knew he was fighting a losing battle but couldn't stop himself. "And you accepted it? You believe he's really sorry? How do you know he's not just saying it so you'll keep working and making him money." 

 

Justin shrugged, "I don't know. All I know is that he's trying for whatever reason, and if it's just for the money, so be it. I'll be making the money for myself because I need it too." 

 

"Justin! Don't you..." Ethan began, his frustration and anger finally breaking through but Justin's anger beat him to it. 

 

"Ethan! Enough! What do you want me to do!? Forget all my friends, all the people I care about and who care about me all because they are also Brian's? I won't do it. So get over it and quit pushing it or we don't stand a chance. 

 

Ethan tried to reach for Justin but Justin pulled back out of his reach. 

 

"Don't. I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up and don't worry, I'm not going out to look for a trick." 

 

Ethan stepped back and watched as Justin walked out the door. He thought about what Justin had said, and he was right. He did want Justin to drop all of his friends that had anything to do with Brian. He wanted him to even quit working at the diner, but hadn't planned to bring that up until after they got home. Sitting down in Justin's abandoned seat, he wondered what he was going to do. 

 

Justin walked in four hours later, removed his clothes and climbed into bed. Ethan pretended that he was asleep because he wasn't sure what to say, or if they did begin to talk, if it would just lead to more arguing. 

 

The next morning found them taking separate showers but still having breakfast before going their separate ways for the day. Justin looked at Ethan intensely, trying to decide what to say. Finally he just decided to tell him the truth, or at least most of it. 

 

"Don't wait up for me tonight. I don't know what time I'll be back. I'm going to Edinburgh today and I don't know now long the trip will take." 

 

Ethan stared at Justin with a bite almost to his mouth. Putting the spoon down he decided that this might be a way to get their relationship back on track. 

 

"Oh, okay. If you want to wait, I could go with you this weekend." 

 

Justin knew that Ethan was trying to act as though nothing was wrong and smiled slightly back at him. "That would have been great, but I'm going on a tour of the Edinburgh College of Art and they don't do that on the weekends." 

 

Ethan looked a little relieved that Justin wasn't really running away from him but was actually taking a booked tour. He was also a little disappointed that he wasn't going to be going with him. 

 

"That's too bad. I would have liked to have gone with you. Maybe we can go back to Scotland this weekend and look at some other sites then. My rehearsal on Saturday is early in the morning and I don't have one at all on Sunday. What do you think?" 

 

Justin nodded as he continued to smile. "That sounds like fun." 

 

Ethan rose to leave. "Have fun today and I'd love to hear about it when we can find some time for each other." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin enjoyed the five-hour train ride from London to Edinburgh. He used the time to decide what he was going to say to Michael about the ideas he had and to do some draws of the ideas that he agreed with for "Rage". 

 

By the time the train pulled into the station Justin had a good start and had other ideas to discuss with Michael. As he stepped off the train, he looked around for Professor Kirkland. 

 

Bruce spotted Justin right away and couldn't help but wonder how such a fresh, innocent looking face could have such sorrowful eyes. Walking up, he greeted Justin warmly. "Madainn Mhath" 

 

Justin looked confused. "Huh?" 

 

Bruce laughed, "I said, good morning." 

 

Justin laughed with him. "Oh! Good Morning." 

 

Bruce directed Justin toward his car and began to tell him about the college as he drove through the town. "The college is one of the oldest and largest of it's kind in Europe. We can trace it's origins all the way back to 1760 when it was originally the "Drawing Academy of Edinburgh" and was founded by the Trustees of the Edinburgh Board of Manufacturers. Today we have two campuses in Old Town with a broad range of courses in Art, Design, and Environment. We use traditional approaches but also the newer technology and methodology as well." 

 

Bruce pulled into his parking space at the main campus and got out to show Justin the campus. Justin got out to join him and felt his breath catch at the view he was given. It was a breathtaking view of the city skyline but the whole view was dominated by Edinburgh Castle. As they began to walk, Bruce went on with his tour. 

 

"As we are strictly an art college, we have become associated with two other colleges to round ourselves out in the academics. If you are accepted, that is if you decide to apply, you automatically become a student of Heriot Watt University. The university got it royal charter in 1966. After you graduate, you will be given a university degree." 

 

Justin looked around and listened to everything that Professor Kirkland had to tell him about the college. When they finally got around to having dinner, it was Justin's turn to ask some questions. "So how much does it cost to go here?" 

 

Bruce paused, "About L8000 a year and that doesn't even go into the living expenses." 

 

Justin groaned. "There is no way I could afford to go here." 

 

Bruce smiled, "Actually you can. We do offer scholarships to foreign exchange students, which you qualify as. Are you going to be in London for a little while longer?" 

 

Justin shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not. See, I'm here with my...boyfriend..." Justin paused to see what his revelation would do. "He is on this tour that is traveling around Europe. We leave London in five days for Berlin." 

 

Bruce nodded, "I think you could still do it. Five days should give you enough time to fill out the paperwork and submit your portfolio." 

 

"My portfolio? I don't have it with me. I didn't think I would need it on my tour of Europe." Justin said. 

 

"I know it's not your portfolio, but you could use some of those drawings that you've done while here, and maybe any others that you might have on you." Bruce stated. 

 

Justin thought about it. "Well, I do have some drawings that I did back home before I left and then..." 

 

"Then what?" Bruce asked. 

 

Justin paused but went ahead with what he was saying. "Well, I'm business partners with someone and we're doing a comic book. The first edition has almost complete sold out." 

 

Bruce looked surprised. "Do you have a copy of the edition with you? If you do, that would be great." 

 

"Really? Do you think I really have a shot at getting in?" Justin asked, beginning to get excited about the possibilities. 

 

Bruce smiled and nodded, "Yes, I do. I think you have a very good shot at this. If you leave your itinerary with us, I'm sure we could track you down for any questions or to send you any forms that might be needed." 

 

Justin smiled even bigger. "I do have my laptop with me if that helps." 

 

"Yes it does." Bruce rose from the table. "I have some forms for you in the car. If you have any questions about them on the way back to the train station, you can ask me." 

 

Justin joined him but had one last question. "Why me? Why did you decide to ask me to join?" 

 

Bruce began to laugh, "Well, it took you long enough to ask. It really was just a fluke. I was there at the museum with a group of my students when I saw you drawing. Being a teacher, I have a habit of walking up and looking at people's work, even if they aren't one of my students. What I saw from you was raw but had so much love and feelings, and you also didn't try to imitate. You drew what you saw, your way, and I knew with the proper training that your work could really take off." 

 

Justin nodded as he took in his answer. "Thank you. You didn't have to answer me but you did, and it didn't sound like a line but the real thing, so thank you." 

 

Bruce drove Justin back to the train station and answered any questions that he had. As Justin boarded the train back to London, he turned and shook hands with Bruce. 

 

"I'll have these filled out and returned with my portfolio by the beginning of the week. Will there be any possibilities of me getting my portfolio back before I go? Some of those pictures are the only ones that I have of some of my friends and family with me, and I would hate to be without them for too long." 

 

Bruce returned the handshake. "I think that can be arranged or we can ship it to you if you have to leave before we are finished going through it." 

 

Justin climbed the stairs as the conductor pushed the stairs away. "Thank you, I appreciate it." 

 

"Not a problem Justin and I can't wait to see more of your work." Bruce had to shout over the noise of the train pulling away. 

 

Justin went and found his seat and settled down for the five-hour return trip to London. He pored over the papers that he had been given and began to fill them out. It wasn't until he reached the outskirts of London that he realized that not once, while he had talked about and thought out these plans, had he thought about Ethan. 

 

It was then that he realized that it wasn't going to work. He and Ethan might have a lot in common, but he didn't love him. Not enough to stay with him, to create a life with him. He was going to have to let him know. If he told him now, then maybe Ethan could get his money back for his tickets, and he could stay in London, or even Edinburgh, while he waited to find out about whether or not he was going to be going to school in Europe, or going back to Pitts. 

 

With a sigh, Justin gathered his things and left the train. Instead of taking a cab back to the hotel, he decided to walk. He was not looking forward to this conversation.


	3. Glitter and Shine

Brian walked into the munchers to find a bawling Gus and two distraught mommies. "What the hell's going on here?!" 

 

Gus upon seeing his daddy, held out his hands to Brian but didn't stop crying as he was picked up. Instead, he tucked his head under Brian's chin and continued to cry as if his heart was breaking. 

 

"He misses Justin." Lindsey told him. 

 

"You mean to tell me that that little shit quit coming to visit Gus just because we aren't together anymore?!" Brian said angrily. Reaching for his phone, he called Justin's cel to give him a piece of his mind only to find out that it was no longer in service. He didn't see the look that Linds and Mel gave each other over the fact that he still had Justin's number programmed in his phone. "His phone is disconnected. I'll chew him a new asshole at the diner for this." 

 

Before either of the girls could say anything, Gus quit crying and looked up at Brian. "Jus gone." Quickly his eyes filled up with tears and he bawled out "Jus Gone! Want Jus!" 

 

Gus, Daddy and Justin aren't together anymore but he isn't gone. You'll see him real soon." Brian was determined to see Justin this afternoon and hopefully Gus would see him tonight if not, tomorrow. 

 

"No, Brian. He won't. Justin went to Europe with Ethan for the summer." Linds told him. 

 

"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Brian said, his heart once again falling into the pit of his stomach even though no sign of it showed on his face for anyone to see. 

 

Mel snorted, "Tell you! You've got to be kidding me. You've made it perfectly clear to everyone that you don't want to know or hear anything that has to do with Justin." 

 

Linds placed her hand on Mel's arm. "Hon? Could you go get a warm wash cloth for me?" Looking over at a now sleeping Gus, she nodded okay but sent an angry look at Brian. 

 

"Brian, I did try to tell you. So has everyone else but every time we bring up Justin's name, you get mad and turn into an uncaring prick." Lindsey pointed out. 

 

Mel came back into the room and gently washed Gus's face before taking him out of Brian's arms and going upstairs with him to put him in his bed. Brian watched them go before turning back to face Lindsey. "So he's just gone for the summer. He'll be back in time for the fall semester." He said more to himself then to Lindsey. 

 

Lindsey watched as Brian headed toward to door. "You know, Brian, if you want to get in touch with him, he took his computer with him and checks his email regularly. That's why Gus was so upset. We read an email message to Gus and he wanted to see him instead of us reading him a message." 

 

Brian paused at the door. "Now why would I want to do that." 

 

As he walked out the door, he still heard her reply. "Because you still love him." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Brian walked into the comic book store. "Hey Mikey. How's it going?" 

 

Walking up to the counter he noticed Michael try to hide some papers that he was looking at. Brian recognized Justin's work right way. "What have you got here Mikey?" Brian asked as he grabbed the papers. 

 

Michael blushed at being caught by Brian. "They're drawings for the new edition of 'Rage'. 

 

Brian continued to flip through the artwork and read the mock ups. "Well, I'm glad you came to your senses and put aside your misconstrued feelings. It would have been a shame for 'Rage' to have died after only one edition." 

 

Michael took the pages back and put them in a file. "So you're not mad that I'm working with Justin again?" 

 

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Brian raided the candy jar on the counter. "I told you from the beginning you were being silly. You both can use the money that you'll make from this and it is a good comic. So when did you finally decide to start talking to him again?" 

 

Michael continued to look uneasy, after all, they were talking about Justin. "Well…Ben kept talking to me about the way I was acting and I guess it finally sunk in that I was being an asshole where I had no right to be. By the time I decided to talk to Justin though, he was already on his way to Europe. So I thought that was the end of it but then Lindsey was telling Ma about Justin still being able to get emails and I knew that I still could talk to him. I emailed Justin over a week ago with an apology and asked if he still wanted to work on 'Rage'. He accepted and I sent him my ideas. These," Michael waved at his files, "are what he sent back." 

 

Brian nodded, "Good. So?! Are we on for Woody's tonight?" 

 

Michael smiled. "Yeah, I'll meet you there at nine." 

 

Brian walked toward the door. "You know Brian, you could write to him if you wanted to. I doubt that he would delete it unread." 

 

Brian paused, looking over his shoulder at Michael. "Now why would I want to do that? He made his choice." 

 

Brian walked out the door and down the walk to his jeep. Climbing in he headed home. Once inside the loft, he dropped his briefcase by his computer and stared at it. Reaching over he began to turn it on when he stopped himself. He was not going to email Justin. Why should he? He was no longer his concern, his lover, his partner, his anything. If Justin wanted to talk to him, he would email him first. Turning away from the computer, Brian began to remove his clothes. He was going to go take a shower before meeting the boys at Woody's. 

 

Once in the shower, Brian tried to chase the thoughts of Justin from his mind by trying to think of other things but it was no good. They had been separated for over a month and still he missed him. He wasn't really mad at Justin for what had happened, at least not any more. More like, he was mad at the situation, the way everyone was treating it. As he began to wash his thoughts remained on Justin. On how there were still times when he would walk through the door and call out to him. But the night times were the worst. He never thought that he'd get used to sleeping next to someone, especially someone who cuddled. Damn, the minute he thought of Justin cuddling, pressing his body up against his in the bed made his body respond. Ignoring his erection, he started to wash his hair but in closing his eyes, allowed him to see images of all the times he and Justin had washed each other. 

 

Brian sighed, rinsed the soap out of his hair and followed the suds down his chest with his hand into the hair surrounding his growing hard on. Keeping his eyes closed he remembered what it was like for Justin to wash his body, how he would run his hands all over before finally wrapping one of them around Brian's cock, soaping it up while making it hard. Brian remembered the fell of those hands as the moved up to the tip and then back down to cup his balls. 

 

Brian began to jack himself off as he imagined Justin being in the shower with him. In his mind he saw himself running his hands over Justin, soaping him all over but paying special attention to his cock and ass. Brian remembered the exact feel of Justin's skin through the soap, even the taste once it was rinsed off. Brian's movements began to get a little faster as he thought about the sounds that Justin would make as he began to prepare him. Brian squeezed himself harder thinking about how tight Justin always was, the feel of him surrounding his cock and especially as he spasm around him as he came. With these thoughts Brian shot his load onto the shower wall. Brian cleaned him and the shower wall off and got out. He was going to have to stop doing this. Getting dressed Brian left for Woody's. 

 

Walking into Woody's Brian found the others already there. As he walked up to them they all stopped talking. "What?" 

 

Michael paused before continuing the conversation. "We were talking about 'Rage' and the drawings that Justin has done. I was talking over some of the suggestions he made and was asking what the others thought." 

 

"Why do you need their opinions? You're the writer." Brian asked. 

 

"I know but I want to make sure that I'm actually giving the ideas a fair shot and not letting my past feelings get in the way." Michael said. 

 

"So what do you boys think of the next issue so far?" Brian asked as if talking about Justin was nothing out of the ordinary. 

 

Ted and Emmett looked at each other then turned to Michael who just shrugged. Before long they were all discussing the next edition of 'Rage' and Brian was finding out all the current information about Justin. For Brian this would have to do until Justin got back from Europe for the new semester in a couple of months. Then he would decide what he was going to do. Until then, he would continue on as before.


	4. Glitter and Shine

Justin quietly entered the room and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Sliding into the bed afterwards, to not wake Ethan, he thought about what he was going to do. Ethan's opening night concert was in two days. Justin decided he would wait until after the concert to talk to Ethan. That would allow Ethan to concentrate on his work and give him a little time to think about exactly what he was going to say. He wasn't going to make another mistake. This time he was going to get it right. Rolling onto his side, he sighed and let sleep claim him. 

 

When his breathing indicated that he was asleep, Ethan rolled over to look at him. He could feel that something had changed for Justin but he also felt that it wasn't for the good. He was going to have to figure a way to stop Justin from doing whatever it was he had decided. If he thought that he was going to leave him after only being away for two weeks from all the mess back home, he was wrong. He owed them a chance and he was going to make sure Justin gave it to them. Justin just needed more time away from everyone. More time of what was just the two of them. 

 

Rolling onto his side, he pressed up against Justin's back. Grinding his growing hard on between Justin's ass cheeks, he thought about what it would feel like to fuck him. Ethan then began to run his hands over Justin's body. Stroking his chest, tweaking his nipples slightly while placing soft kisses onto his back. Justin snuggled farther back against Ethan, trying to get closer. Ethan moved his hand farther down to stroke Justin's growing erection. As he started the pleasing stokes, Justin sighed, "Brian". 

 

Ethan stopped what he was doing, a look of hurt on his face. Rolling away from Justin, he moved to the far side of the bed, his erection gone. He refused to fill in for Kinney in Justin's dreams. 

 

After tossing and turning for about an hour, he finally gave up on trying to sleep. The anger and frustration just kept building and he needed to release it. Rising, he dressed, grabbed his violin and left. He would go to the conservatory and see if any of the studios or even the rehearsal hall that they had been using for the past week was open. He would use his emotions to fuel his practice. 

 

He was very glad when he got there to find it open as well as lit. He wasn't happy however to find that someone was already there using the rehearsal hall. Looking closely at who was playing he realized it was William, a fellow violinist in the symphony. Walking to the stage, he paused as he listened to the other man play. Going up onto the stage, he opened he case and joined him. They played heatedly through several songs, going from one piece to the next, challenging, pushing the other in a silent competition but spoken well with their music. 

 

Finally they stopped when they were both breathing heavy and sweating. Ethan and William stood there staring at each other for what seemed like minutes but could only have been a few seconds when William leaned over and kissed him. Ethan pulled back and really looked at William. He wasn't a bad looking man. He was tall, slender and just a couple of years older with sandy brown hair and brown eyes. Looking into his eyes, he saw that which he hadn't seen in Justin's eyes in a long time. Desire, desire for him, wanting to be with him. Not just a need for release or lust. Reaching out his free hand, he wrapped it around William's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This kiss was more heated and quickly turned aggressive. 

 

Breaking apart, Ethan turned and laid his violin down where it would be safe. It was only then that he thought guiltily of Justin but then his anger took over and pushed the guilt away. Seeing William bent over a chair to place his violin in it's case, Ethan walked up behind him and reached around to stroke William's erection causing a groan. When he started to turn around, Ethan stopped him and began to unbutton his shirt from behind. Opening it but not removing it, Ethan ran his hands over William's chest, pinching the nipples before running his fingers under the waistband of his pants. 

 

Quickly opening them, he pushed William's pants and underwear down then wrapped one hand around his cock to stroke it. William leaned back against Ethan and shivered against the sensations the callused hand sent through his body. Spotting lube and a condom in William's case, Ethan pushed him back over the back of the chair and grabbed them. Undoing his own pants and pushing them down, he quickly prepared William and himself. 

 

He wasn't in the mood to be slow and easy. His anger and frustration were still feeding on him so without much warning, he pushed roughly into William causing him to gasp. Reaching around him, Ethan began to roughly stroke William until he cries out his release all the while pounding into him. While William tries to catch his breath, Ethan finally finds his own release with a shout. Leaning onto William's back, he caught his breath and then slowly pulled out. He knew that he hadn't been easy on him and wasn't going to hurt him anymore then he already had. 

 

Turning from William, Ethan pulled off the condom and tossed it into a nearby trashcan, fastened his pants and picked up his violin. Checking it out to make sure that it was still okay, he walked over to where he had his case and began to put it away. Neither William nor Ethan said anything while they got themselves back together and left the stage. 

 

Justin awoke slowly and stretched. Looking over beside him he saw that the bed was empty and the spot where Ethan laid, cold. Looking at his watch it saw that he had slept the morning away. Ethan must have decided to let him sleep in knowing that he had gotten in pretty late he decided. Crawling out of bed, he slipped on some clothes and went to get something to eat. Stepping outside he stretched and smiled. After coming to his decision last night, he felt as if he could breath again, that he finally had his life back on track. Of course it was a slightly different track then he had hoped for but maybe they would connect somewhere later in life. 

 

Justin brought his food back to the hotel and sitting in front of his computer, set to work. The first thing he did was answer his mail. There was one from Deb, Linds, Em, and his Mom. Then he wrote one to Michael, which included a file of the rough sketches he had done yesterday and other possible drawings for the next edition of `Rage'. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

To: CaptAstro@h... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Michael, 

 

I read over your ideas for the next issue and came up with these rough sketches. There were a couple of areas that just didn't seem right for the places that you wanted them in. I thought of some ideas of my own in which I also included. I'm not saying that they weren't good but that maybe they could go into another issue as part of another storyline. The same goes for my stuff if you don't agree. Let me know what you think and which ones are a definite so I can clean them up. 

 

Justin 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin leaned back and ate some of his sandwich as his file was being uploaded to send. Justin then realized that he was going to have to find a printer to print out some of his work for his portfolio as well as buy a portfolio case. Pulling up an empty email he wrote to his mom again. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

To: JTaylor@R... 

From: JusTaylor@y... 

 

Hi Mom, 

 

I know that I just emailed but I just realized something. I need you to Fed-Ex my printer. Michael and I have come to an understanding and we are going to keep on working together to continue `Rage'. So, I'm going to need my printer to send off the finished drawings to Michael and the publisher. I really appreciate it. 

 

Love you! 

Justin 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

After he sent the letter off to his mom, Justin finished filling out his application and other forms. At one point he got stumped and called Bruce who was able to help him out. When he was finished with that he sat back and looked at his watch. He hadn't seen Ethan in almost two days and was beginning to feel a little guilty about that. Justin decided that he would meet Ethan for dinner, which was in about three hours. 

 

Turning back to his computer, Justin went through his files and picked out which ones he wanted to stick in his portfolio. After putting them on a CD, Justin then began to go through his sketchpads. It was a hard decision to make but he finally had what he considered a diverse group of pictures to send to the college with his application. Justin grabbed a quick shower, changed, and with CD in hand went to get a portfolio case and find a printer. 

 

Justin arrived at the conservatory to find that Ethan had already left with a group of fellow musicians for dinner. This didn't bother him too much although he was starting to feel the lack of sex and had kind of hoped to include it in with dinner. Since he was dinning alone, Justin decided to go to the `Sherlock Holmes' again for dinner and maybe take a walk, as he hadn't been out of the hotel much today. 

 

When Justin got back to the room, he was slightly surprised to find that Ethan wasn't there. With a shrug, he began to put his portfolio in order so that all he had to do was go ship it in the morning. Bruce had told him over the phone to just send everything to him and he would take care of it and make sure that he got everything back. 

 

With a stretch and a yawn, Justin glanced at his watch. Shedding his clothes he crawled into bed. The only problem being that he was still horny. He hadn't had sex in over forty-eight hours. First, he thought about his favorite model but that wasn't enough. Then he thought about Ethan, the way he would touch him and started to wish that he were there. Then he saw once again the disappointment in his eyes when he was once again refused the position of top. He knew that Ethan wanted to top him and that to him it made them equals in the relationship but Justin just couldn't bring himself to let him. Slowly stroking himself, he let his thoughts drift and as expected they drifted right to Brian. 

 

He remembered how it had felt when Brian would tease him. How he would kiss and lick Justin's body all over except for the places that he wanted him to do the most. Justin moaned and ran one of his hands up to his nipple ring thinking of Brian doing it with his teeth as his hands wondered down to cup Justin's ass. Justin could almost feel Brian's hands squeezing his ass as he licked his way down toward his straining cock. Justin moved his hand a little faster, squeezing a little harder and remembered the feel when Brian finally took him within his mouth. Justin cried out as he felt Brian stick one of his fingers up his ass and shot his cum all over his chest. 

 

Catching his breath, Justin opened his eyes and wiped the tear that rolled down his face. Justin got out of bed and cleaned up before going back to bed to sleep. He awoke a little later when he felt Ethan crawl into bed with him. Justin rolled toward him and placed an arm around his body to stoke his chest. 

 

Ethan closed his eyes and sighed. "Not tonight Justin. Tomorrow is a big day and I'm really tired tonight." 

 

Justin breathed into Ethan's hair. "That's okay. Go to sleep. You need to be rested for the concert." 

 

Justin closed his eyes and was asleep again within seconds. Ethan on the other hand wasn't. He thought about what he had done this morning and about Justin. He was not going to give up. Closing his eyes he joined Justin in the world of sleep. 

 

Justin woke first and decided to wake Ethan with the best kind of wake up call. Lightly he began to kiss across the back that was toward him as he reached around him for his morning hard-on. 

 

Ethan groaned as he awoke to a hand wrapped around him, stroking him in a slow, tortuous motion as lubed fingers pressed into him. 

 

"Good Morning." Justin whispered, rubbing his erection against Ethan. 

 

Ethan could only gasp and push back onto the fingers that were fucking him. "Justin…" he complained when the fingers disappeared. When he heard the wrapper of the condom being opened, he knew it was time to try again. Ethan then tried to roll to face Justin but was stopped by a hand holding him into place. "Justin, I want to see you." 

 

"Stay there." Justin said, as he finished putting on the condom. 

 

"No," Ethan said pushing harder against the now two hands that were holding him on his side. "I want to watch you take me. I want to watch you as you fill me over and over again." 

 

Justin felt his body tighten at the words and threw his body against Ethan's back; wrapping his hand around the erection he had left earlier and began to stroke it harder. "Do you want this?" Justin whispered in his ear as he rubbed his condom-covered cock in between Ethan's ass cheeks, right up against his spasming hole. 

 

Ethan refused to say anything at first. He just continued to push back against Justin in a battle of wills. He was holding his own until Justin removed his hand from his cock and began to finger fuck him again. Ethan whimpered when Justin removed his fingers and just continued to put the pressure that kept his body where it was. Frustrated with the need to be fucked completely, he relented. "Yes! Yes, damn it!" With that he quit fighting Justin for position. 

 

Justin sighed with relief and rolled Ethan over onto his stomach as he pushed all the way inside him. It didn't take long and they both reached their orgasms quickly. 

 

Justin rolled off of Ethan, removed the condom and tried to catch his breath. Ethan glanced over at Justin and felt his anger grow again. After catching his breath, he rolled to a sitting position on the edge of the bed with his back to Justin. 

 

"You know Justin, I'm not just some trick you brought home to fuck. I'm your boyfriend; your lover and I should be treated as such. When we're out and about, we're fine but in the bedroom, I have no say other then `no' and that's not right. I should have an equal say about what we do together." Getting up off the bed, Ethan walked into the bathroom and shut the door. 

 

Justin looked at the closed bathroom door and knew that he hadn't handled this morning well at all. He walked over to the bathroom door and heard the shower running. Opening the door, Justin walked over to the shower and stepped in. "I'm sorry." 

 

Ethan glanced over his shoulder at him and nodded before turning back into the water but not before Justin saw the hurt in his eyes. Justin took the soap and began to wash Ethan's back. "Do you have time for breakfast?" 

 

Downstairs, they sat and ate breakfast just like they had every morning except for the past two days. Ethan did most of the talking. "Your ticket will be at the box office. Try and get there an hour before hand and maybe we'll be able to spend a little time together. So what are you going to do until the concert?" 

 

"Just walk around, visit another museum, do some more drawing." Justin still hadn't told him about Edinburgh and figured it would wait until tomorrow. That would give him what would be left of today and part of the next day to figure out what he was going to do. 

 

"Tomorrow we've got to take care of laundry and get packing. Our plane to Berlin leaves at 1:00 the day after. " Ethan said, thinking of what little time was left to them in London. 

 

Justin nodded as they both rose to begin their day. With a quick kiss, Ethan left while Justin went upstairs to get everything he would need to send to Bruce. Afterward, he visited some of his favorite spots and did some more drawing. When he got back to the hotel to change he checked his emails and found a couple waiting for him. He answered them quickly, took a shower and got dressed for the evening. Arriving at the concert hall exactly an hour ahead of schedule he got his ticket at the box office and went in search of Ethan. 

 

Justin found Ethan practicing in one of the dressing rooms. "Hi." He greeted. 

 

"Hi." Ethan returned happily, walking over and kissing him. "You made it early. Come on. I'll introduce you to some of the boys since we'll be traveling with them." 

 

Ethan took Justin's hand and led him out the door. "Ethan, wait. I don't want to disturb them. We can do it after the concert." 

 

Ethan laughed, "It's okay. They've been wanting to meet the hot guy who has me rushing out of here most evenings." Ethan proceeded to take Justin around and introduce him. 

 

Justin didn't really like the possessive way in which Ethan's arm was wrapped around him or the tone of his voice as he did it. It was like he was declaring hands off, that he was laying a claim on him instead of an introduction of his boyfriend. Justin decided to overlook it though when he saw how happy Ethan was. As it was time for the symphony to get together, Justin went out front to find his seat. 

 

When the music started, once again Justin got swept up in it and was mesmerized by Ethan on the stage. Afterward, he got caught up in the excitement and joy that everyone was feeling and it wasn't until Ethan was asleep that the euphoria he was feeling from the night began to wear off, leaving him subdued and nervous about tomorrow. 

 

Rising, he began to pace the room. He knew that after tonight that Ethan thought that everything was okay but he knew it wasn't. He didn't love Ethan. He knew that he hadn't really given Ethan a fair chance but he didn't know how to do it. How do you have a relationship with someone you don't love when there is someone out there that you do love. He still loved Brian and he had to face that fact. 

 

Sitting down in the chair, he studied Ethan lying in the bed. Turning he looked at his computer and switched it on. Pulling up a file he hadn't opened since he had moved out of the loft, he looked at the pictures he had there of Brian and his friends and family. Pulling up his favorite picture of Brian, he sat there and studied it while he studied all of his feelings and thoughts. He then looked at Ethan and did the same thing. When he began to stir, Justin quickly closed down his computer. 

 

Ethan reached beside him for Justin and finding it empty, sat up and looked around the room. Finding Justin sitting curled up in a chair, he yawned, "Justin? What are you doing over there? Come on back to bed." 

 

Justin got up and crawled back into bed and allowed himself to be pulled into Ethan's arms. Ethan placed a light kiss on Justin's shoulder and sighed contentedly before drifting back asleep. Justin laid there awake for a while longer before sleep claimed him too. 

 

The sun shining through the window woke them both. Justin still tired after his late night dilemma turned and buried his head in his pillow. Ethan however was awake and ready for the day to begin. "Come on sleepy, we have a lot to do today. If we get finished with everything in time, maybe we can visit one last museum or take a last ride down the Thames." 

 

Justin groaned. "Just give me fifteen more minutes." 

 

Ethan laughed, "Nope, you shouldn't have stayed up so late last night. What were you doing anyway? Suddenly get inspired to draw me?" 

 

Justin winced under his pillow. Sighing, he decided he might as well get it over with. He had hoped to wait until a little later but it didn't look as if Ethan was going to allow it. Sitting up, he pulled the pillow into his lap and looked at a grinning Ethan. He felt himself start to falter but knew it was something that had to be done. "Ethan, we need to talk before we do anything today." 

 

Ethan still smiling sat down on the bed and reached under the pillow for Justin's morning hard-on. "True, we do need to get some things cleared up, don't we." 

 

Justin pulled Ethan's hand out. "Stop it Ethan, I'm serious." 

 

Ethan saw how serious Justin was being and the smile disappeared from his face. He had felt that after last night that things were finally starting to look up for them. "Okay, I'm listening." 

 

Justin swallowed nervously, "Ethan, listen, I've tried but we aren't going to work…" 

 

Ethan interrupted, "Tried?! You haven't tried. We've only been gone from Pittsburgh for two weeks. In that time, you've kept in contact with everyone. Have you been emailing Brian as well on your computer? Well? Have you?" Justin shook his head no. "Well that's a plus but probably the only one. You have moped around our apartment the whole time and you haven't done much better around here?! You're even still drawing him! So you tell me how hard you've tried when you haven't." 

 

"Ethan, look." Justin began feeling really bad at the justified anger that Ethan was unleashing. "I don't know what to tell you but that I just don't see it happening. You've still got time to cash in my tickets, all I ask is that you give me a ticket home." 

 

"No." Ethan said while his mind was running a mile a minute. 

 

"No?" Justin couldn't believe that Ethan would leave him stranded even if he was mad at him. 

 

"No." Ethan said, "I'll tell you what. You come with me and you truly try. I mean it! You have to really give us a shot and if by the end of a months time, you still feel that way, I'll cash in the rest of your tickets and give you your flight back home." 

 

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're blackmailing me into being your boyfriend?" 

 

Ethan smirked, "Don't look at it that way. Look at it as I'm asking for a fair chance. One that you haven't given us." Justin sat there stunned, as Ethan rose from the bed and walked toward the bathroom. 

 

"Think about it Justin. I'm going to take a shower and get started. But remember one thing. You're the one who originally chose me so I think it's only fair for me to demand this. Don't you?" 

 

With that, Ethan shut the door and turned on the shower. Stepping into the stall, he allowed his emotions free rein at last. He allowed the angry tears to fall as he slid down to the floor of the stall and muffled his cries with hands. He hated the word blackmail but he did deserve a chance and a fair chance. 

 

Justin meanwhile sat there staring at the closed bathroom door. He had no idea how it had happened but he had lost control of the conversation. Getting out of the bed, he dressed quickly and left the room. He needed to think and he couldn't do it with Ethan in the room. 

 

Going to the nearest park, he began to think about what all Ethan had said. Had he lied? No, not really. Had he wanted to? He didn't know. Did Ethan deserve a chance? Probably but the main question was, could he really try. He just didn't know. He thought about calling his mom. She would get him a ticket home but the expense would hurt her. He could call Linds or Deb but neither of them could really afford it. Then there was the application to Edinburgh. If it came through, then he wouldn't need the ticket home, at least not yet. 

 

Sighing, he turned back toward the hotel. He would give Ethan what he wanted. At least until he heard from the college, then he would make his final decision. 

 

Looking at his hotel room door, he took a deep breath then entered. "Ethan?" 

 

Ethan was gathering his dirty clothes and packing what was left of his clean clothes in his suitcase. Turning to face Justin, he hoped that his face didn't show the fear that he was feeling. "Yes?" 

 

Justin nervously grabbed his suitcase and began doing the same. "You were right. I didn't try. I'll go with you and try to give this a fair shot. However, I am not going to stop drawing `Rage". It is the only source of income I'm going to have coming in for awhile and I'll need it for college when I get back home." 

 

Ethan couldn't help the smile spread across his face at the fact that Justin was going to try. He didn't notice that Justin had said `when he got home.' Alright then, lets get this laundry done." 

 

Justin smiled slightly, "Yeah, lets get this done because I would like to see the sunset on the Thames before we go grab some dinner tonight." 

 

Ethan kept smiling, "Sunset on the Thames it is then. Come on, we've got a lot to do." 

 

Justin continued to pack but couldn't help feeling that he was making another mistake. Oh well, he just needed to wait to hear from Bruce and then he could hopefully get his life back on track and in some kind of order. Until then, he would live with his decision and try to give Ethan what he wanted.


	5. Glitter and Shine

Berlin 

 

Justin sat looking out the airplane window while Ethan chatted up a storm with other members of the symphony. They were on their way to Berlin and even though he wasn't to happy about how it came to be, he was excited about seeing the city and surrounding country. They were going to be there exactly a week. Justin had tried to get into the conversation but didn't have a clue about what they were talking about. He knew it was about music, but not any that he knew about. Finally, he turned and just looked out the window before falling asleep. 

 

Ethan was both happy and excited. He was on his tour with people he had so much in common with and they knew and were envious of the beautiful man by his side. He had Justin. Ethan looked over at the sleeping Justin and his smile faltered a little. Yes, he had Justin but he had guilt him into coming and now he was paying for that. Justin had barely kissed him, much less anything else since they talked. When one of his new friends asked him a question, he turned back to the conversation and forgot about his troubles with Justin. After all, there was nothing he could do until they landed in Berlin. 

 

Justin awoke with a smile from a light caress on his cheek. It faltered only a little when he saw Ethan smiling back at him. He had been having a wonderful dream of Brian and was disappointed when it wasn't him who had woken him up, but the worst part was that now he was horny as well. 

 

Ethan's grin got bigger as he looked at Justin's lap. "Good Dream? I hope it was about me." 

 

Justin made his smile bigger as he wasn't about to tell Ethan the truth or deny himself a release either. "I guess you'll have to wait until we get to our room unless you want to hit the first bathroom we find." 

 

Ethan looked at Justin in shock and blushed but had to admit that the thought of doing it in such a public place kind of turned him on. "Uh…as exciting as that sounds, I think I'll wait until we get to our room to make sure we won't be interrupted." 

 

Justin noticed Ethan's blush and his grin got truly bigger. "What's the matter Ethan? Haven't you ever done it in public?" Justin said seductively. 

 

Ethan's embarrassment grew, as did the beginning of his anger. "No," he said as an image of him and William fucking in the symphony hall in London, flashed through his memory. "And don't tell me you have. Oh wait! I forgot the great Brian Kinney was your teacher. I bet he had you bent all over the place." He said sarcastically pushing away the image of William. 

 

Justin's smile slowly disappeared from his face at Ethan's hurtful words. "No he didn't. What happened between me and Brian stayed in the loft. He did take me to the Baths once when 'I' asked him to but we fucked other men. If you must know however, before Brian and I were together I did do it in public a couple of times. Once was with someone in a public restroom. It was fun, exciting, and he was hot." 

 

With that said, Justin began to gather his things, leaving a surprised Ethan staring at him. Ethan couldn't believe what he had just heard. He had been deliberately cruel and Justin had surprised him a little with his answer. He was going to have to apologize but he wasn't sure how. Maybe he'd let Justin do him in the bathroom after all. Slowly he began to gather his things and together they left the plane. 

 

Together they walked with Ethan's new friends through the airport. Ethan was nervous but stopped Justin. "I…I need to use the bathroom." He hoped that Justin got the message and followed him in. 

 

Ethan went ahead and used the bathroom after he had waited nervously for several minutes. Afterwards, he waited awhile longer after he washed his hands but with a sigh gathered his things. He knew Justin wasn't coming in. 

 

Stepping out of the restroom, they continued on in silence to the baggage claim where they joined the rest of their party in gathering their luggage and finding the bus that would take them to their hotel. Ethan knew he was going to have to figure another way to apologize to Justin and he knew he had to do it soon. Hopefully he would think of something by the time they got to their room. 

 

After they reached their hotel, the rest of the party decided to get together for dinner and Ethan agreed that he and Justin would join them without asking Justin. Walking into the room, Justin immediately began to put his things away while ignoring Ethan. Ethan stood and watched him. Their first night in Berlin was turning into a nightmare. Ethan walked up behind Justin and wrapped his arms around the suddenly stiff body. "I guess you didn't get the hint at the airport." 

 

Justin remained stiff in Ethan's arms. "I got it. You had your chance and turned it down earlier. Right before you called me a whore." 

 

Ethan sighed, "I didn't call you a whore." Slowly he released Justin and sat down on the bed. He looked up and tried to make eye contact with Justin. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that." 

 

Justin looked down at Ethan. "You might as well have called me a whore. You know nothing about my relationship with Brian and the way you had talked about your ex being so similar, I figured you had experimented too." Justin sighed and sat beside Ethan on the bed. "It hurt me when you said that. I know that I haven't tried as well as I should have with us but I'm here. I'm here because you and I both know that I haven't tried and that we do deserve a chance, but talking about Brian and what we did together isn't going to help. Especially when you use it to hurt me." 

 

Ethan took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I know and I'm sorry. I really am." 

 

Justin looked closely at Ethan and saw that he really was sorry. "I know. Now, since you made dinner arrangements for us, we need to get ready. In case you didn't notice we only have an hour and I want a shower." 

 

Ethan reached over and pulled Justin into his arms again. This time Justin went and hugged him back. "So, do you want some company in that shower?" 

 

Justin smiled, "Sure, I can always use someone there to wash my back." 

 

Ethan laughed and began to slowly remove Justin's clothes. 

 

Later, they left their room holding hands and joined the others in the lobby. They only had four days in which to enjoy Berlin, so everyone was in a hurry to get started. Luckily for them, Berlin had a lively nightlife with several café-bars. Finally they ended up at a Turkish café in Kreuzberg, which was considered the city's art and music underground scene. There they sat and watched as every cliché in the book walked by but the most fascinating by far were the punks. 

 

With the next day being their only day off, they all discussed the sites they wanted to see. It was finally decided on that they would all go and rent bicycles and go to Checkout Charlie Museum and then catch a train to Potsdam to check out Schloss Sanssouci. After all, who could pass up looking at a place that translated to "No Worries Castle". 

 

A couple of members of the group had grabbed a copy of "Checkpoint" which turned out to be a German newspaper printed in English. Several members were disappointed to find that they had missed "Christopher Street Day" which was the city's big gay parade and that they were going to be leaving before the big techno "Love Parade". 

 

Looking into a free entertainment mag titled "030", they located a nearby club and went dancing. Justin walked in and felt the thumping of the music and realized that he had missed it. Going onto the dance floor with Ethan, he felt a little awkward but after a bit, he let the music carry him. After the first couple of songs though, everyone was ready for the bar. Leaving the dance floor, they ordered their beers and proceeded to drink them. As members of their party began to drift in various directions of the club, a song came on that Justin recognized. "Come Ethan, lets dance some more." 

 

Ethan held back, "No, I don't want to. Why don't we just stand here and finish our drinks." 

 

Justin pulled one more time at Ethan's arm. "Come on Ethan, what's the sense in coming to a bar where they dance if you don't hit the floor?" 

 

Ethan continued to shake his head no. Just then one of the few members of their group that was still around spoke up. "Come on Justin. I'll dance with you." 

 

Justin smiled and setting his beer down headed for the floor. "Thanks…Paul, right?" When Paul smiled, he was glad that he had remembered his name. Together they left Ethan standing at the bar. Sometime during the next couple of dances, he thought about how much he really did miss going to Woody's and Babylon. At some point during the next song, Ethan and another man, Justin thought his name was William, joined them. Ethan, handed Justin a fresh beer and Justin feeling good, thanked him with a kiss. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Ethan had stood at the bar fuming that Justin had left him standing there while he went and danced with Paul. He hadn't even asked Ethan if it was okay. Brooding, he continued to stand there watching them when William had come to stand next to him. "He's beautiful." 

 

Ethan had turned to look at William before looking back at Justin on the dance floor. "Yes he is. He's also funny, smart, fun to be with, and a very talented artist." 

 

William had studied Ethan carefully. "Does he love you?" 

 

Ethan had taken another swallow of his beer. "He left another man for me. What do you think?" He had then turned back to the bar and ordered two more beers. "Come on, let's join them." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Ethan tried to keep up with Justin, but finally settled for dancing with him on occasion and keeping him supplied in beer. He figured as long as he didn't disappear on him, then he was fine. 

 

Much later that night, a stumbling group returned to the hotel, and it was all Ethan and Justin could do to remove their shoes as they giggled and fell back on the bed. Each fell asleep almost instantly. 

 

The next morning it was a very hung over and quiet group that met for breakfast. They almost decided to cancel the morning part of their day, but since it was their only full day, they figured they would live and continue on. Going to the nearest bike rental shop, they each got a bike and rode over to the Checkpoint Charlie Museum, which turned out to be pretty interesting. Especially the display of escape devices that many people used while the wall was still up. 

 

That afternoon they grabbed lunch on the train to Potsdam. Once there they gawked at all the palaces, from Friedrich the Great's mid-18th century French fake to Wilhelm II mock-Tudor mansion. During the tours, Ethan had reached for Justin's hand and he gave it to him. Ethan took this as a good sign and would on occasion put his arm around him, kiss him on the cheek, or just kiss him. 

 

Justin reminded himself that he was supposed to be trying and treated Ethan to what he expected himself out of a boyfriend. As the day progressed, Justin realized that he was actually enjoying the day. 

 

It was a tired group that returned to the hotel at dusk. Some of the group decided they were going to go out to another club but Ethan wrapped Justin in his arms and turned down their invite. He knew that there wasn't going to be much time for him and Justin in the next four days. He wanted to keep the good feelings between Justin and him going and maybe they could finally get back to normal. Turning, they walked down the street until they found a fairly quiet café where they ate and talked. 

 

"So, what are you going to do while I'm in rehearsals for the next couple of days? Oh, which reminds me. Do you want me to get you a ticket for the first concert or the last?" Ethan was fairly happy. Even though they hadn't made love since they left England, last night, after his apology, and today had been good. 

 

Justin shrugged, "Whichever one you'd like me to come to is fine. You pick." After taking another bite, he continued. "I figure tomorrow I'll rent another bike and go check out Brandenburg Gate. Then there is a church I want to see as well as a couple of museums. 

 

Ethan smiled, "Which ones?" 

 

Justin shrugged again. "The Dahlern and the Bauhaus Archive which is also the museum of design." Looking up at Ethan, he remembered his promise to try. "There's also several museums here in Kulturforum. How about I meet you for lunch? Maybe pick up a basket and go to a nearby park and have a picnic." 

 

Ethan's smile got bigger. "That would be great! How about one? We'll have exactly an hour." Ethan reached over and took hold of Justin's hand. "Is there anything you'd like to do tonight?" 

 

Justin had really enjoyed going to the club but it was obvious to him that it wasn't Ethan's thing. "Why don't we just take it easy tonight, maybe go for a walk and see where we end up." 

 

Ethan rose, still holding Justin's hand. "Sounds good to me. Then maybe a little later, we can head back to the hotel for desert." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

The next morning found them right back into the routine that had started in London. After a shared shower and breakfast, Ethan left for rehearsals and Justin was once again on his own. He had already ordered a picnic lunch from the hotel that he would pick up on his way to meet Ethan, so all that was left was to rent his bike. 

 

The ride over to Brandenburg Gate was exhilarating and the way the sun shined off the Quadriga inspired Justin. Finding an out of the way place that still gave him a good view, Justin began to draw. First he did the arched gate. Then he began on the Quadriga at the top. He then drew just the Quadriga; the four-horse draw chariot with the winged victory goddess was just too tempting not to. 

 

Justin checked his watch as he began to put up his supplies and saw that he still had plenty of time. The church he had heard about was all the way across town but closer to Kulturforum than he was now. He had heard it had some really beautiful works by Chagall. 

 

Justin stopped and admired the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedachtnis-Kirche as he caught his breath and locked up his bike. Walking into the church he was immediately awash in blue light. Justin closed his eyes as too many memories began to assault him. With a groan he sank down into the nearest pew. Placing his head in his hands, he began to cry. He cried for the night he had lost his virginity and met the love of his life, He cried for the nights when Brian had held him during his nightmares or as they had talked of his dreams during happier times. He cried for all the playful moments and hot sex under the blue lights that filled his mind with images and his heart with pain. 

 

As he cried, he felt something within him unwind and as the tears slowed, he knew that he would go on with his life and continue with the opportunities that were being presented to him. Then maybe one day he would run into Brian again and they would finally be able to talk. Talk to each other as equals and maybe become friends. More than that he would have to wait and see what time offered him. 

 

Wiping the tears from his eyes and face, he took several deep breaths and felt at peace, if not happy, for the first time since the 'Rage' party. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up into the face of a kindly old man. "Sind Sie alle jetzt gleich mein Sohn?" 

 

Justin looked at him in confusion, "I'm sorry. I don't speak German." 

 

The old man smiled, "American, good! You will give me a chance to practice my English. I don't get to do so as much as I'd like. May I?" He asked Justin. Sitting down in the pew in front of Justin but turning around, he faced him before Justin actually replied. "I asked you a minute ago if you were alright. I didn't want to disturb you until you seemed ready." The old man said kindly. When Justin hesitated, he continued. "Let me introduce myself. I'm Father Josef." 

 

Justin looked down at his hands and saw that they were clenched tightly to his backpack. Taking a deep breath and releasing the hold he said. "I'm okay." Father Josef looked skeptically at him. "Really Father, I'm okay, or I will be. I…It's just that when I walked in here and got washed with the blue light, I just felt like I was suddenly drowning in a lot of memories that I've been trying to bury." 

 

Father Josef nodded his understanding. "I'm sorry that our beautiful stain glass windows brought such bad memories back to you." 

 

"Oh no sir! That's just it. They were all good memories." Justin told him, a hint of his sunshine smile beginning to show at the priest's confusion. 

 

"But I don't understand?" Father Josef stating his confusion. "If they were all good memories why were you crying as if your heart was breaking and why do you look so forlorn now?" 

 

Justin sighed, "It's because those happy memories are all I have left. There won't be any more like them again." 

 

A look of understanding came across Father Josef's face. "Oh, I understand. You've lost a love one." 

 

Justin nodded. "Yes." He wasn't going to correct his thinking that someone he loved had died. 

 

Father Josef studied the young man. "You're not going to do something rash are you?" 

 

Justin let out an abrupt laugh. "Not unless you consider making the decision to move on with my life to be rash." 

 

Father Josef laughed and Justin couldn't help but smile. "So. I know that you didn't come in here to talk to an old man. So you must be here to see our church and artwork." Justin nodded. "Good. Then let me show them to you." 

 

The next hour was spent pleasantly discussing the church and the works by Chagall found there. When Justin's stomach growled, he looked at his watch and realized that he had to go. If he didn't rush, he was going to be late. Father Josef walked him out of the church and waved goodbye as Justin rode away. 

 

Justin arrived back at the hotel, grabbed the packed lunch, and made it to the Berliner Philharmonie just as Ethan and his friends walked out the door. They all came down to say hi, but walked on as Ethan gave a smiling Justin a kiss. "Have a good morning?" 

 

Justin began to walk them toward a nearby park. "Yes, I did. It was really good." With that he proceeded to tell about his morning, leaving out the crying and the talk that went with it. After they had eaten, Ethan proceeded to tell him how his day had gone so far, while Justin tried to keep his eyes open. When the hour was up, Ethan went back to his rehearsal and Justin went back to touring the city. 

 

The next three days were much like the previous with the exception of answering emails and working on 'Rage". Justin also didn't tell Ethan about the night he went clubbing while he was giving a concert. On the night of the last concert, Justin attended and joined in the celebrating afterwards. Tomorrow, they would be on their way to Prague, where they would spend almost a full two weeks. 

 

Prague 

 

Ethan was ecstatic. Everything was going wonderfully. He was playing the music that he loved with a group of people who felt as he did and several were becoming his friends. And then there was Justin. Things there were going very well. Justin was trying, truly trying. Ethan had noticed that he was unusually quiet but put it off to him being tired. After all, he was out and about every day drawing, visiting museums, and other famous places. 

 

Prague, the city of a thousand spires, what could he say. They had been here a week and still had another five days to go. In that time he had gotten to spend a little more time with Justin as they had been given the first three days off followed by half-day rehearsals. 

 

Together or with their friends, they had explored the many nooks and crannies of Stare' Mesto, (Old Town), checked out the view from high atop the ten centuries old citadel called Vysehrad and visited the Bedr[av]ich Smetana Museum that honored the Czech composer, Bedr[av]icj Smetana. By far his favorite place had been Bertramka, the Mozart Museum. Tonight they were even going there for a chamber concert. 

 

Ethan sighed as he heard the scratch of a pencil on paper. That was really the only problem. Justin was constantly drawing and it was driving him nuts. He knew that Justin was an artist and a good one. That was one of the things that drew him to Justin. But! That's all he ever did. Ethan went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready. "If you don't put that pencil down, we're going to be late." 

 

Justin looked up from his drawing and toward the bathroom. Sighing, he put his pad and pencil down. Another concert. He like the music but that's all Ethan and the group ever talked about. He was finding that except for the fact they were both artists, they didn't have a lot in common. He had fun with them sometimes but not always and he had seen them roll their eyes a couple of times when he had pulled out his pad. That was when he had quit taking it along. Unfortunately that meant he had to repeat some of the tours or sketch from memory what he wanted to draw. The most fun he'd had since being in Prague was the night when they had spent the afternoon in the Letna' Beer Garden and after dinner they had all joined the musicians, street performers, and flower people on the Charles Bridge. Joining Ethan in the bathroom, he began to wash his hands. "I'm ready in case you hadn't noticed." 

 

Ethan looked over and felt his cock stir. Walking up behind Justin, he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck. "You look wonderful. Maybe we should skip the concert." 

 

Justin leaned back against Ethan. "No, you've been eager for this since you saw the advertisement." 

 

Ethan smiled against Justin's head as he looked him in the eye through the mirror. "I tell you what. How about after the concert we go rent a boat and take a romantic ride down the Vitana." 

 

Justin smiled back and reached with his hand for Ethan's erection through his pants. "Sounds good to me." Turning in his arms, Justin planted a heated kiss on Ethan's lips as he continued stroking him. Breaking it off, Justin laughed and walked out of the bathroom. "Think of that as a sneak peak of later tonight. For now we need to get going." 

 

Ethan groaned. "Tease!" 

 

Justin just laughed harder. "You started it. Now come on." Justin stood in the doorway putting on his coat. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin was bored. A little classical music was fine but he missed the thumping of the dance music. The only thing that saved him from going out of his mind was his CDs. 

 

Ethan on the other hand was totally wrapped up in it and didn't even notice when Justin tried to stifle a yawn. He did however send a scowl toward Justin when he pulled out a pencil and began to draw. Justin ignored him and continued to draw portraits of some of the people around them. 

 

When the concert was over, Justin noticed Ethan standing around and knew that he was waiting to go talk to the musicians. He however had had enough. Walking up behind him, Justin nibbled on his ear and whispered. "Ready for that boat ride?" 

 

Ethan immediately forgot about the musicians. "Definitely." 

 

They quickly left and went in search of a boat rental. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

A wet and angry Justin and Ethan walked into their hotel room. "If you had broken my arm you could have ruined me!" 

 

Justin rounded on Ethan as he began to strip off his sodden clothes. "Me!! You're the one who turned over the boat in the first place. Don't you dare blame this on me!" Walking into the bathroom for a towel, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and grimaced at the swelling and colored abrasion on his cheek from where he had hit the boat when he had broken the surface. 

 

As he began to clean it off, Ethan walked in for a towel. "It was your fault. You were moving around too much in the boat. If you'd just sat still we'd have been fine." 

 

"No, we wouldn't have been. I'd already fucked you once in that boat. Hell, we'd even done it facing each other the way you've been wanting to do it but no, that wasn't enough for you. You had to push it and try and fuck me. I told you no but would you listen? No! I was trying to move away from you when you grabbed my arm and threw me off balance. THAT is what turned the boat over." Justin finished with his face and walked back into the bedroom where he began to check for any more damage as he dried off. 

 

Ethan walked out of the bathroom fuming as he continued to dry off. "Don't fool yourself." He spat. "The only reason you faced me this time was because that was the most stable and comfortable position that that little rowboat allowed! It wasn't because you finally felt you could face me or because I wanted it that way! As for me fucking you, why shouldn't I! We're in a relationship! A partnership! We're supposed to be equals but no, in the bedroom, you have all the say. Forget what I want." 

 

Justin began to put on dry clothes. "I didn't hear you complaining. What I heard was how much you loved it, what you wanted me to do to you, and my name as you came." 

 

"Well, at least it was your name and not someone else's! You've gotten good. You don't call out anyone's name, but at night when you're sleeping it certainly isn't my name you call out to. It's that fucking Brian Kinney's!" Ethan watched as Justin walked to the door. "Where the hell are you going?! We're not finished yet." 

 

Justin turned in the doorway to look at Ethan. "I'm going out before I really say something we'll both regret. Don't wait up." Slamming the door behind him, he was gone. 

 

Ethan stood there looking at the door in shock. How had things gotten so terribly bad so quickly? Dressing, he left the room and walked to the nearest café. Sitting out front he brooded until a voice made him look up. "Want to talk about it?" 

 

Ethan looked up at William. Studying his face he saw nothing there but caring and pointed at the chair across from him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin walked into the club and sighed as the music washed over him and he began to relax. Going to the bar, he ordered a drink which he sipped as he looked over the place. Scanning the room, he noticed a nice looking brunette looking his way. Sending him a slight smile he watched as he began to move toward him. When he reached Justin, Justin smiled at him, grabbed his belt and pulled him onto the dance floor. Letting the beat guide him, he began to move with the brunette. Before long, they were kissing and grinding for all they were worth. Looking over the brunette's shoulder he saw a darkened area where men were coming and going. Pulling his dance partner close, he licked up the side of his neck to his ear. "Do you speak English?" 

 

The brunette nodded. "Good, Let's go." Justin kissed him deeply before turning, grabbing hold of his belt and leading him to the clubs version of the backroom. There he let the guy blow him and then they were back on the floor. 

 

After several hours, many drinks, and a few more releases, Justin stumbles back to the hotel. As much as he'd have liked to have fallen into bed, he knew that he stank and was in need of a shower. Once in the room, he saw that Ethan was asleep so at least he had that reprieve. Taking a quick shower, Justin crawled into bed. 

 

The next morning Justin awoke to the sun shining in his face and alone. Ethan had already left for the day, which was fine with him. Getting up he took another shower and got dressed. Leaving the hotel, Justin found a bakery and grabbed a Danish. Going back to his room, he opened his computer hoping to have an email from Bruce waiting for him. To his disappointment there wasn't, only the regular ones from his friends in Pittsburgh. After answering those he opened a blank email and shot off a letter to Bruce asking if he had heard anything or how it was going. The sooner he got an answer about Edinburgh, the sooner he would know whether he was going home or to Scotland. One thing was for sure. He had tried with Ethan and it wasn't working. He was lonelier then ever and he was bored with the group he was dealing with. 

 

Closing down his computer, Justin set out to visit some of the places he wanted to see. One of the first things he did was catch a tram to Terezin, which used to be a concentration camp that held children. There he saw sketches drawn by the children that were held there. After that he went to Orlik Castle where he walked through the gardens, checked out the castle and took a jump into the 4-D with their variation of the bungee jump. The last thing he did before going back to the hotel was to visit the Satov Wine Cellar where there were paintings of the fairy tale 'Snow White" on all the walls. 

 

Once back at the hotel, he found that Ethan had already been and gone. Taking a long relaxing shower, Justin took his time drying off and dressing. Leaving the hotel he stopped for some dinner and then hit the clubs again. Walking in, he went straight to the bar and ordered a drink. As he was paying for it, he felt a body lean into his and a kiss land on his ear. Turning, he found the brunette that he had spent time with last night grinning at him. "I had hoped that you would come back tonight." 

 

Justin didn't smile back at him. "Yes but I almost didn't. Look, I'm not looking for a date. Last night was last night and as enjoyable as it was, I'm not looking for a repeat. I already have a boyfriend and we'll be leaving here in a couple of days." With that, Justin turned back to the bar, totally ignoring the brunette who continued to stand there for a couple of minutes before moving off. After he had been gone for several minutes, Justin turned back to look over the dance floor and saw the brunette with someone else already in a heavy lip lock. Finishing his drink he looked around until he saw someone of interest. This time it was a slender redhead. The rest of the night went much like the previous and once again he stumbled into bed to find Ethan already asleep. 

 

The rest of the stay in Prague went much the same and it wasn't until they were leaving to go to St. Petersburg that Justin and Ethan saw each other awake, much less have a conversation. As they boarded their plane, Justin took his usual seat by the window, when Ethan sat down beside him. "So, are you going to keep ignoring me or are we going to try and work this out?" 

 

Justin looked at Ethan. "That's all this has been about hasn't it? About trying and working this out and it's not working Ethan and you know it. We do alright for awhile but then something else happens and we're right back to where we started." Turning away from Ethan he went back to looking out the window. 

 

Ethan looked momentarily panicked then gathered himself before anyone would notice. "We've been doing so well lately Justin. Just give it a bit more time. You promised." 

 

Justin turned back to look at Ethan, anger rising in his eyes. "And I have been trying and don't you dare tell me that I haven't. If you think that I haven't tried then this isn't going to work so you might as well send me home." 

 

Ethan sighed and reached for Justin's hand. "Justin, I know you've been trying and I love you for it. I'm just saying don't give up on us. Things have gotten good and can only get better." 

 

Justin closed his eyes and forced the anger down. "I know and I'm still here aren't I. I just don't know Ethan. I just don't know." 

 

Ethan knew that he was closer to loosing Justin at this moment than ever before. "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I guess I just got carried away and then afterwards I overreacted." Ethan raised Justin's hand to his lips and kissed it. "I've missed you the past few days. Once we get to St. Petersburg I'll even show you how much I've missed you." 

 

Justin continued looking at Ethan, then finally squeezed his hand with a sigh. Leaning back he closed his eyes and prepared to take a nap, his hand still encased in Ethan's. 

 

St. Petersburg 

 

Ethan and Justin walked into their hotel room to deposit their bags. As in Prague, they were meeting the others to explore the city and go out to dinner. They were staying in St. Petersburg for eight days with the first 3 days off before half rehearsals started up again and then the concerts. Justin actually found himself enjoying himself again as everyone was too excited about being in St. Petersburg and what they wanted to see instead of music and what they were going to play. 

 

What they found after dinner however were more billiard places than they had ever seen. Going into one, they began to drink and play pool. Afterwards, Ethan and Justin returned to their room. Justin yawned as he crawled into the bed and automatically rolled onto his side, away from Ethan. 

 

Ethan crawled into bed and laid there looking at Justin's back. Finally, he snuggled up against him and began to place soft kisses across his back as he ran his hands over the rest of his body. "I've missed you." 

 

Ethan pushed Justin to roll him over but this time on his back so Justin didn't fight him. Ethan continued to kiss his way down Justin's body before finally taking him into his mouth. Justin continued to lie there as Ethan gave him a blowjob and let the pleasure wash everything else away for the time being. When Ethan let go and moved back up his body, Justin couldn't help the groan that escaped him. Before he could tell Ethan to finish it, he had his lips claimed in a kiss. 

 

Breaking off the kiss, Ethan rubbed his hard on against Justin's and whispered. "Fuck me. I want to feel you inside me now." 

 

Justin looked Ethan in the eyes and without looking away, handed him a condom. "Put it on me." 

 

Ethan smiled and quickly did as Justin said, using his long delicate fingers to tease as he did so. Justin arched into his hands, letting Ethan know that he liked what he was doing. 

 

Justin grabbed Ethan's hands and stopped him. Pushing him over, Justin quickly prepared Ethan and capturing his hands held him captive while he pushed all the way in. Ethan was elated. His pleasure doubled by the fact that Justin was making love to him, facing him. Within minutes it was over as they both cried out their releases. Ethan cried out Justin's name while Justin cried out for no one. 

 

Pulling out of Ethan, Justin removed and threw away the condom as he grabbed a warm washcloth and began to clean himself up. When he was done, he tossed the cloth to Ethan, crawled back into bed, rolled onto his side, and went right to sleep. All without a word to Ethan. 

 

Ethan didn't care. After he cleaned off, he just snuggled up to Justin's back and as he went to sleep with a smile on his face, he thought about Justin. He was coming around, he was finally getting over Brian. 

 

The next morning they met everyone for breakfast and then started their tour for the day. Today they were all going to Petrodvorets, the Versailles of Peter the Great. When they got there they all stood in awe at the 'Grand Cascade and Water Avenue with it's symphony of fountains and canals. While there they went through the Grand Palace and Monplaisir, Peter's original villa. From there they visited the Hermitage. That night was almost a repeat of the night before with everyone going to dinner and playing pool afterwards. However, when Ethan and Justin got back to the room, Justin went to his computer and began to answer his emails and work on some drawings. Ethan crawled into bed and sat and studied him for a while. "Come to bed Justin. It's been a long day." 

 

Justin's eyes never left the screen of his computer. "I can't. I need to get these drawings done for Michael. I'll come to bed in a bit." 

 

Ethan got out of bed, came up behind Justin, and began to massage Justin's shoulders. "Come on Justin, you can do that in a couple of days when I'm doing rehearsals." 

 

"I can't." Justin said shrugging out from under Ethan's hands. "We've got the story all worked out and they're just waiting on the final draws before sending the comic to the printers." 

 

Ethan flopped down on the bed disappointed. "Look Ethan," Justin said, finally looking up at him. "I really shouldn't have gone out with you today and definitely not tonight because of this but I did. Now it means that I'm probably going to be up all night doing this and I won't be able to get any sleep tomorrow because of all the plans we've made. So please don't give me a hard time about this. The sooner I get started the sooner I finish and maybe get a couple of hours sleep before we start this all over again." 

 

Ethan nodded as Justin went back to work. Thinking about what Justin had said actually made him happy and he couldn't help but smile as he crawled under the covers and went to sleep. 

 

Justin continued to work through the night and it wasn't until the sun was just peeking through the curtains that he finished with the last of the drawings for 'Rage'. Looking at the time, he tried to decide if it was going to be worth crawling in for a little bit of sleep or not. Deciding that if he did that, he wouldn't be worth anything all day, he went and grabbed a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs to the hotel restaurant to wait for the others. 

 

Ethan woke up and found the room empty. Going into the bathroom he found one of the towels still damp and knew that Justin hadn't been gone long. Taking a quick shower and getting dressed he headed downstairs to see if he could find him. Walking into the restaurant, Ethan was pleased to find Justin sitting with the a couple of the members of their group and joined them. Ethan noticed how tired Justin looked and so he didn't mind when he didn't participate in too much of the conversation. Once everyone had joined them and eaten, they began their day of playing tourist. 

 

Today's tours were the Peter and Paul Fortress and the Winter Palace with its State Hermitage Museum. At the fortress, everyone was surprised to find a log cabin that Peter the Great had lived in and designed himself. One of the buildings at the fortress was a cathedral which everyone expected to be boring, considering how plain it was. However, everyone was surprised to find that on the inside it was magnificent. Inside they found the graves of most of the Russian Romanov rulers buried there. Outside everyone took a turn at rubbing the right forefinger of the statue of Peter the Great when they were told it would bring them good luck. 

 

After a break for lunch, they then headed for the Palace Square. Everyone couldn't get over the size of the complex and knew there was no way they could see it all in a day. Looking at the map they had been given upon entering, it was decided that the actual Winter Palace was a must with its grand chandeliers, over-the-top interior encrustations and tsarist jewels and treasures. 

 

Towards the end of the day, they did make it through the Little Hermitage but didn't make it through the Large Hermitage and the hermitage Theatre. At dinner that night they tried to decide if the wanted to go back to try and finish it or do something else. Justin didn't care and after eating declined to go out with the others while urging Ethan not to waste one of the few remaining free evenings he had. In the end, Ethan went out and Justin crashed in their room. 

 

Justin didn't even stir when Ethan came in and stood looking at him before going quietly into the bathroom. Taking a quick shower, he crawled as quietly as he could into bed and wrapped an arm around Justin. When he didn't awake, Ethan let out the breath he was holding in relief. 

 

Ethan laid there for several minutes trying to go to sleep but he couldn't. He was feeling guilty. He didn't know why, but he had slept with William again. He could justify the first three times because he and Justin had been fighting, and William had been there for him when he had needed comfort ,but tonight was different. He and Justin weren't fighting. They had made up and were back on track so he couldn't understand why he had cheated. One of the problems he knew was that even though he loved Justin, he liked William. He was a good friend. He listened to him when he needed to talk about Justin and didn't judge either of them. He decided that he wasn't going to think about it anymore and take the chance on ruining anything. William knew he was with Justin and that he loved him. He would just continue to be friends and make sure that it didn't happen again. 

 

The next morning things seemed back to normal even though Justin still was quieter than usual and they began their last day together as they had all the others. Today's tour was to be the Vasilevsky Island. Once there, they were a little bored with the Central Naval Museum, but the Museum of Anthropology and Ethnography or the Kunstkammer, as the Russians call it, had everyone either grossed out or totally enthralled with it's creepy collection of genetic freaks. The other item that impressed everyone was at the Geological Museum. It had a map of the Soviet Union that is 85 sq. ft. and made entirely of precious gems including amethysts, diamonds, and rubies. Upon leaving the island it was decided that a picnic at the Summer Gardens was the ticket before going back to the Winter Palace. 

 

That night was much like any of the other nights in which the group hung out together. Ethan was happy that Billiards was such a popular game in Russia, because that way he was able to keep Justin out of the clubs that he knew he frequented when he was doing concerts. 

 

Justin watched everyone play pool and sketched on a few napkins. He was itching to pull out his sketchpad but didn't want to listen to everyone else harass him about it. Instead he started doing character sketches of everyone so that when they came over he could give it to them and they would leave him alone. 

 

All Ethan noticed was that Justin was getting along with everyone, which made him happy. What he didn't notice was that Justin really wasn't participating or that the others weren't trying to involve him but were really only tolerating his presence because of him. 

 

After awhile, Justin looked up, downed the rest of his drink and went over to Ethan. "Hey, look, I'm still really tired. I'm going to go on back to the hotel and go to sleep. You're having a good time so stay and I'll see you when you get in." 

 

Ethan noticed how tired Justin looked and agreed. "Ok, I'll see you in a little bit. You go on and get some sleep. You look like you could use it." Leaning over he gave Justin a kiss and a hug, which Justin returned before heading back to the hotel. 

 

Justin walked out the door and took in a deep breath and released it along with what he hoped was some of the tension he had been feeling all day. The more time he spent with Ethan, the more he knew that it just wasn't going to work. If Bruce would only contact him with news, he would know how to handle what he knew he had to do. Justin was so deep in thought that he wasn't paying attention to where he was going. As soon as he bumped into the body, he looked up and almost lost his balance. When two hands grabbed him to keep him from falling he couldn't help but stare. "Bbl Bce npaBo?" 

 

Justin shook and straightened himself. "I…I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." 

 

The man didn't release Justin from his grip. "That is all right. Are you all right?" 

 

Justin continued to stare at the man. He couldn't get over how his heart was pounding and it had nothing to do with the accident. It had to do with the man. "Y…Yes," Justin swallowed and smiled sheepishly. He knew he was being rude which in turned made him blush. "Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay? I bumped into you kind of hard." 

 

The man took in Justin's blush but it was his smile that had him mesmerized. "Yes, I am fine." The man realized he was still holding onto the young blond. Reluctantly, he released him and held out his hand. "I am Vassili Grinkov and let me welcome you to St. Petersburg." 

 

Justin took the hand that was offered, glad that he wasn't being left just yet. "I'm Justin Taylor and thank you. The city is beautiful." 

 

Vassili thought fast as he wasn't ready to leave the young man yet. "Yes, it is. I know that we are strangers but would you like to go get a drink or a coffee?" 

 

Justin's smile got bigger. He couldn't help it. "Yes, a coffee would be great." He wasn't about to say a drink for fear that Vassili would suggest the billiards parlor he had just left. 

 

Vassili smiled in return. "Good, I know a very nice little coffee shop a couple of blocks from here." He said, pointing in the direction of the shop. 

 

Justin knew of the shop as the group had passed it a couple of times as they roamed the city. Together they turned and began the walk in silence. As they walked, they each took the time to study the other. 

 

Vassili saw what most Europeans considered the All-American boy. Clean cut, blond hair, blue eyes, lite build but it was his smile that was amazing. It lit up his face and made his eyes sparkle. He wondered just how old he was but figured he had to be the age of consent if he was here alone in Russia. He just hoped that the hard-on he was experiencing wasn't showing. 

 

Justin meanwhile was studying Vassili as well. He saw a man maybe a couple of years older then him with smooth, shoulder length, rich brown hair. He just knew that if he touched it, that it would feel like sable. He was tall, taller then Ethan but not as tall as Brian, though he had a very similar build to Brian. His eyes were a rich brown but seemed to have flakes of amber or gold in them. Just the sight of him made his heart beat wildly and his cock hard. He couldn't believe how he was feeling. He hadn't felt like this since the first night he had met Brian. At least he wasn't as naive as he was back then to think he was in love. He would readily admit though that he was in lust. 

 

Arriving at the coffee house they went inside and sat in a booth, neither one sure of what to say. After placing their orders, Vassili asked. "Excuse my impertinence but how old are you? You seem so young to be out alone." 

 

Justin grimaced, "I'm 19. How old are you?" Justin didn't want to tell him he wasn't alone, at least not yet. 

 

Vassili smiled, "I am 24. So what do you think of my city?" 

 

Justin returned his smile and looked up as the waitress brought them their coffee. Taking a careful sip of the hot drink, he began to tell about the places he had been to and what he thought of them. 

 

Vassili felt that Justin was keeping something out. When Justin reached the end of his commentary, Vassili spoke. "You don't sound as if you enjoyed yourself. Like you didn't want to go to some of those places, or you maybe you were disappointed in them. Why is that?" 

 

Justin thought about what he was going to say and decided the truth was the only way to go. Taking a deep breath, he filled Vassili in about himself. 

 

"I'm here with my boyfriend. He's part of a touring symphony group." Vassili nodded his understanding but didn't let on his disappointment. "The thing is, I'm really only here because I owed it to him to try and make our relationship work." 

 

Vassili noticed the sadness at Justin's words. "And I take it that it isn't working." 

 

Justin looked up and was surprised to see not judgment, not pity, but compassion. "No, it's not. You see, I was in a relationship with someone else when I met him. Brian, that's the man I was in the relationship with, doesn't believe in romance, or anything that is connected to it. At the time, I needed it, I wanted to know that someone loved me and could tell me all the things I needed to hear. Ethan gave me those things. I loved Brian but liked Ethan. Brian made me choose and I chose Ethan. Unfortunately, I still love Brian and I'm finding that while all of the things I wanted and that Ethan has given me are okay, but you can't help who you love or why you love them. I've really tried with Ethan, but geez! If I have to listen to one more conversation about some bit of classical music or musician, I think I'll go nuts! I mean, I'm an artist but art is not the only thing I talk about. I know there are other things in the world besides drawing and I like exploring that and doing other things. That doesn't mean though that I don't love my art or that I don't take a sketch pad with me wherever I go." 

 

Justin began to blush. He couldn't believe everything he had just said to Vassili, but also realized that he had spoken the truth. "I'm sorry. I can't believe I told you all that." 

 

Vassili smiled and reached out, taking Justin's hand in his. "It is all right. I understand. It was something that you needed to say, to hear out loud, to…how do you American's say it? To get off your chest?" 

 

Justin laughed and squeezed Vassili's hand. "Yes, that is what we say. So now that I've told you a little bit about me, how about you tell me a little bit about you." 

 

Vassili laughed, pleased that he had made Justin do so. "Well, lets see. I am a restorationist. I am helping to restore St. Petersburg to its former glory. I am single, and since we are being honest, I find you very attractive." 

 

Justin blushed and started to say something but Vassili stopped him. "I am not looking for a boyfriend and I believe that you have enough of those already." Vassili smiled hoping that Justin would see that he was teasing him. Justin smiled, so Vassili moved on. "However, since you are going to be alone while your friend Ethan?" At Justin's nod, he went on. "Since Ethan will be occupied and you will be alone, allow me to be your friend and show you around my city. If we have sex, it will be strictly because it is what we both want with no strings attached and when you leave, we will both have wonderful memories of these few days that have been given us." 

 

Justin didn't know what to do. He wanted to accept Vassili's offer so badly but what of Ethan. Justin sat there and watched as Vassili rubbed his thumb over his hand and the sensations that it was causing. He knew that he and Ethan were through, he just needed to find a way to tell him. Looking back up at Vassili, he leaned across the table and planted a light kiss on Vassili's lips. "I accept. Now what?" 

 

Vassili was ecstatic. Smiling, he used his free hand to wrap it around the back of Justin's neck to pull him back to his lips. "We do this, then finish our coffee. Once we leave here, we'll decide where to go at that time." With that he pulled Justin into a deep, passionate kiss that left Justin's toes curling in his shoes and his cock, aching terribly. 

 

Breaking off the kiss, Justin looked deeply into the passion filled gaze of Vassili. "Forget the coffee, do you live nearby? My hotel is just a couple of blocks away but I don't know when Ethan might show." 

 

Vassili stood and laid some bills on the table, never releasing Justin's hand. "Yes, just a few streets over. I live with my sister and her husband, but they both work the night shift, so we'll have the place to ourselves." 

 

Together they moved quickly out the door and Justin allowed himself to be led the few blocks to a set of apartment buildings. Panting almost as much from the rush to get to Vassili's as from the need that each was feeling for the other, they began to climb the stairs. At the first landing, Vassili groaned and pushed Justin up against the wall as he claimed another passionate kiss from Justin as he rubbed himself against him. 

 

Justin pushed slightly at Vassili and began to gulp in air as he looked up the stairwell. "How many flights?" 

 

Vassili followed his gaze. "Four more. I'm on the fifth floor." Pushing away from Justin he kept his hand in his and started up the next flight. 

 

On the next landing, it was Justin who pushed Vassili up against the wall. While kissing eagerly, Justin pulled out Vassili's shirt and ran his hands over the chest below, pausing to pay a little extra attention to his nipples. Removing his hands reluctantly, he looked to see how far it was to the next landing. Grabbing Vassili's hand, he rushed up the next flight of stairs and bypassed the next landing, laughing when Vassili tried to stop on the landing for some more kissing and petting. 

 

Vassili overtook Justin on the second flight of stairs and when they reached the last landing before his floor, pushed Justin up against the wall, pulled out his shirt, and opened the fly of his pants and he knelt on the floor. When Justin felt the kisses being placed on his stomach, he finally gave into his need to feel Vassili's hair. It was indeed as soft as he thought it might be and he couldn't wait to rub his face into it. 

 

Vassili inhaled Justin's smell and thought he would explode if he didn't get a taste of Justin soon. Getting a grip on what little control he had left, Vassili stood, grabbed Justin's hand for the last time and rushed up the stairs, taking out his keys as they flew and almost knocked the door down when they arrived. As Vassili unlocked his door, Justin wrapped his arms around him from behind and slid one of his hands down to wrap around his throbbing cock. 

 

As Justin felt Vassili's cock pulsate in his hand, he felt the need to feel it inside him and the thought of it almost made him cum. He didn't try to analyze his feelings, he decided he was just going to go with his needs and his need right now was to be fucked by this gorgeous man. 

 

Vassili shoved his door open and quickly pulled Justin in, slamming it shut behind him. Turning to face Justin, he stopped to admire him for a second before they rushed at each other, each trying but not getting close enough to each other. As Vassili moved them slowly toward his bedroom, clothes flew everywhere. As they crawled up onto the bed, their lips parted and they studied each other's face as they tried to catch their breaths. 

 

Justin couldn't believe how he was feeling. He hadn't felt this alive since before he and Brian had had problems. Gazing deeply into the almost liquid gold eyes he said, "I want you to fuck me. I need you too, now." 

 

Vassili felt that he was drowning in the intense blue gaze; he had had lovers but never one that made his heart jump like Justin did when he spoke. Without saying a word, he reached over to his nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a condom and lube. Turning back to Justin, he asked. "Are you sure?" 

 

Justin nodded and laid down on the bed, his gaze never wavering. Vassili quickly put on the condom and moved to lie between his legs. As he ran his hands and lips down Justin's body, he marveled and the texture of his skin. When he reached Justin's cock, he inhaled his scent as he licked the top of the head, tasting the pre-cum that gathered there. Justin groaned and thrust up into Vassili's mouth. 

 

Vassili took him into his mouth and enjoyed listening to the moans that he was causing, especially with his tongue. Increasing his suction, he drew back one last time before letting go. Reaching for the lube, he began to prepare Justin, as he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to last. Just as he went to raise Justin's legs over his shoulders, Justin stopped him. 

 

"Vassili, take it slow okay? It's been awhile." Justin said softly. When Vassili looked confused, Justin explained. "I usually top but tonight I don't want to. Tonight I want to feel you inside me. I need you inside me." 

 

Vassili nodded and began to slowly enter Justin, his eyes never leaving Justin's until he was all the way in. Bending down he captured Justin's lips and he began to move within him. For a few minutes both men were content with the slow steady pace but it wasn't long before the pace began to speed up. Justin threw back his head and cried out his release. As Vassili felt Justin's walls tighten around him and his cum shoot between their bodies, he cried out his own release and collapsed on top of Justin. 

 

Both men laid there trying to get their breathing back under control. Vassili rolled off of Justin and smiled. Justin looked over and couldn't keep the huge grin from his face. As they looked at each other the grins turned into laughter and the laughter filled the room as Vassili got up to dispose of the condom. Pulling Justin up off the bed together they walked into the bathroom where Vassili turned on the shower. Climbing in together, they washed each other, each of them relishing the feel and touch of the other. 

 

Before they got out of the shower both men were hard and aching for release again. As the water continued to beat down upon them, they each took turns bringing each other off. As they dried off, Vassili asked. "Justin, would you like to spend the day with me tomorrow? I could show you more of St. Petersburg and maybe even places that you would not know to see." 

 

Justin, without a guilty thought about Ethan, smiled at Vassili, "I would like that. I have to eat breakfast with Ethan but I could meet you afterwards." 

 

Vassili had momentarily forgotten about Ethan but refused to let it bother him. "How about I meet you at the coffee shop around nine." 

 

Justin nodded as he went around the apartment and gathered up his clothes. "That sounds good. I hope you don't mind if I bring my sketchpad. The only time I get to draw without any grief is usually when I go out on my own." 

 

"I don't mind at all if you don't mind if I bring mine." Vassili smiled back and watched as Justin began to get dressed. "I wish that you didn't have to go, but I do understand and will look eagerly forward to tomorrow." Vassili slipped on his jeans and grabbed his shirt. "Now, I will walk with you to the end of the block before the hotel." 

 

Justin watched as Vassili joined him at the door and hand in hand they made their way to Justin's hotel. With a final kiss goodnight, Justin walked inside and up to his room. 

 

When he got into his room, he found Ethan waiting up for him. "Where have you been? I thought you were coming back to go to bed." 

 

Justin paused then began to undress. "I was but once I got outside and started walking back to the hotel, I just didn't stop. I decided to go for a walk." Justin climbed into bed and rolled onto his side, refusing to deal with Ethan any more tonight. Feeling the bed dip as Ethan crawled in beside him, he tried not to move away from him when he wrapped an arm around him. 

 

Ethan snuggled up to Justin and kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I was just kind of worried when I walked in expecting to find you asleep and instead I find the room empty. I didn't mean anything else by it." 

 

Justin sighed, "I know Ethan and I'm sorry. So can we just go to sleep now? My walk took the last of my energy and I'm about ready to fade." He said the last part though a yawn. 

 

Ethan kissed the back of Justin's neck again. "Sure. Pleasant dreams and I'll see you in the morning." 

 

Justin couldn't keep the smile off his face as he thought of Vassili. "I will and you too. Goodnight." Within seconds Justin was asleep and Ethan was left awake. Thinking about William and the fun they had had together tonight made him smile and with that he finally drifted off to sleep as well. 

 

The next morning found them both up, showered, and eagerly eating breakfast. "So what are you going to do today?" Ethan asked. 

 

Justin shrugged. "The usual. Answer some emails, see what's going on with Rage, go check out some more of the city." 

 

Ethan studied Justin closely. Something had changed Justin seemed different. Justin looked up and saw Ethan looking at him. Smiling, he asked. "What?" 

 

"Nothing," Ethan said smiling back. "I just like looking at you. You look exceptionally good this morning. That walk you took last night must have done you good. You fell asleep almost instantly." 

 

Justin blushed slightly and Ethan took it to be because of his compliment. "Thanks, it did do me good." 

 

Ethan reached across the table and took Justin's hand. "You look like you did when we first started. The Justin I fell in love with. It's good to have you back." 

 

Justin was beginning to feel uncomfortable but squeezed Ethan's hand. "You better hurry up or you'll be late." 

 

Ethan looked at his watch and realized that Justin was right. "I'll see you later tonight. Have fun." 

 

Justin rose with Ethan and gave him a goodbye hug and kiss. "I will." 

 

As Ethan walked away, Justin saw that he had about thirty minutes before he was to meet Vassili. Just the thought of seeing him again made his stomach flutter. He decided to go back up to the room. 

 

Switching on his computer, he began to sketch a picture of how he remembered Vassili as he waited for it to boot up. Pulling up his email, he was happy to find an email from Bruce and surprised to find one from the College of Edinburgh. There were the usual emails from friends and family and even one from Michael. He decided to answer these first. 

 

The word from home was more of what it had been all summer; what everyone was doing, who everyone was doing and what was going on around town. The one from Michael told him how much the editors liked the new edition and that it was at the printers. As soon as it was released, he would make sure that he got a copy. He also sent some more ideas for the next issue. 

 

After replying to all and saving Michael's for future reference, he sat there and stared at the two remaining emails. He really wanted to read Bruce's first but knew he needed to read the one from the college first. Nervously he clicked on it. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Mr. Taylor, 

 

It is our honor to offer you a full three-year scholarship to our college here at Edinburgh. Classes will begin in six weeks so we suggest that you get here within the next two weeks to take care of any remaining paperwork, registration, boarding, and getting to know the area. Please respond to let us know if you are accepting our offer. That way we will be able to reserve your position. 

 

Sincerely 

Dean of Admissions 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin sat there in shock, rereading it twice more before letting himself believe it. Letting out a cheer, he jumped up out of his chair into the air. After he had calmed down, he went back to the computer and saved the letter. He would wait to answer it after he had had a chance to read Bruce's letter. Clicking on it he read… 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Dear Justin, 

 

Congratulations! I knew that you would get accepted. I know that being a new student anywhere is nerve racking especially when you're also in a strange country. My wife and I would like to offer you a room with us until you get all settled and get a place of your own. Please say yes and if so, let us know when you will be coming in. 

 

Bruce 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin sat back with a grin and immediately sent back positive replies to both offers. He didn't know his exact departure date, as he was going to have to finally tell Ethan it was over, but as soon as he had his date he would let them know. Hitting send, he looked at his watch and realized that he was going to be late. Closing down his computer and grabbing his backpack, he rushed out the door and to the coffee shop. 

 

Vassili looked at his watch again and worried that Justin wasn't going to show. Just then he heard a shout. "Vassili!" Justin came to a stop out of breath but a huge grin on his face. "I'm sorry I'm late. I was checking on my email and I got a couple of important letters that I had to open and respond back to." 

 

Vassili smiled back. "That's okay, why don't we grab a table so I can get a cup of coffee and you can catch your breath, and if you want to tell me about them you can." 

 

Justin couldn't keep the grin from his face and as Vassili sat sipping his coffee, Justin told him all about Bruce and Edinburgh. "I'm impressed." Vassili said as the rose to begin their day. "Edinburgh is a prestigious school. So what are you going to do." 

 

Justin sobered as he thought about Ethan. "I was really only waiting to find out if I got in before I ended it with him. It's just not going to work and I should have stayed in England like I had planned. It would have saved both of us a lot of grief. I guess tonight when he gets back to the hotel I'll tell him that I'm leaving." 

 

Vassili nodded his head in understanding. He now knew that his time with Justin had just gotten briefer. "Well, if he kicks you out, you can always come stay with me." 

 

Justin hugged Vassili. "Thanks, I just may take you up on it. Now, let's not think about Ethan. Let's just enjoy this wonderful day." 

 

One of their first stops for the day was the Leningrad Radio-Tele Broadcasting Centre's antenna. Going up the 660ft. of the 1020ft. allowed to visitors, they enjoyed the excellent view that the observation deck offered and laughed when it began to sway in the wind. Their next stop was the Russian Museum where they spent the rest of the day, leaving only long enough to have a picnic in the summer gardens. As they walked back toward Justin's hotel, they discussed their plans for the next day. As they walked wrapped in each other's arms they didn't notice how close to the hotel they were until they were stopped by a body standing in front of them, blocking their way. 

 

Looking up Justin gasped, "Ethan!" This was not the way he wanted to end it with him but now he knew it was going to be ugly. 

 

Ethan was furious. No wonder Justin had seemed different this morning. He was cheating on him with another man and by the way they were wrapped around each other, he knew that the other man wasn't just a one-night stand, a trick. Flushed red with embarrassment, he turned without a word and went into the hotel. 

 

Justin looked at Vassili who nodded and gave him a little kiss. "I'll see you in the morning." 

 

Justin turned and rushed after Ethan not noticing that they had had an audience. Ethan hadn't been alone either. William stood there looking from Justin and Vassili to the door that Ethan had disappeared in. He knew that he couldn't go after Ethan since Justin had just followed him in. With a sigh, he went in to go to his own room. Ethan would come to him when he was ready. Maybe now they would have a chance. He liked Justin but felt that he didn't belong with Ethan. 

 

Justin walked into the room to find a very angry Ethan. "Why?! I can't believe you! I mean first you cheat on Kinney with me, and then you cheat on me with that …man!" 

 

Justin shut the door and stood there. "Ethan, that man has nothing to do with this. We haven't been working since London. Lord knows I've tried but we just aren't working and I don't know if we'd have ever worked." 

 

Ethan glowered at Justin. "Tried? You think you've tried? You haven't tried since the day you left Brian. You've just been using me for this trip to Europe." 

 

Justin knew that Ethan had a right to get mad but he was beginning to get mad as well. "What do you mean I haven't tried? I'm here aren't I? I was all set to call it quits in London but no! You insisted that I come with you, that I give us an honest shot and you know what? I did! I was the perfect little boyfriend. I was there for your concerts, I sat for hours with your friends listening to conversations that I had no hope of joining in much less wanted to. And you! You treated me like I was your property, your trophy. So don't you dare say that I didn't give us a fair try." 

 

Ethan scoffed. "Trophy? Yeah, you're a trophy all right. You've done nothing but mope, ignore my friends and me and sleep around on me. Don't think that I don't know that while we were in Germany that you weren't being a little whore." Ethan walked right up to Justin and spat this last part right in his face. 

 

Justin shoved Ethan away from him and moved farther into the room. "Me?! What about you? You don't think that I couldn't tell when you were sleeping with someone either? At least mine were tricks. How many times have you slept with William?" 

 

Ethan's opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. How had he found out about William? "William is a friend." 

 

"A friend you slept with long before I ever cheated on you. Was the first time in London? I think it was. Right about the time you started in on me about Brian." Justin said as he grabbed his bag and began to pack it. "I was going to tell you tonight before you saw me with Vassili that it was over. That it just wasn't working and it has nothing to do with Brian, Vassili, William or the tricks. It has to do with us, with me. Yes, I left Brian, I chose you but I didn't choose you for the right reasons. You told me all the things I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear but the thing is, I wanted to hear them from Brian. I thought if I left with you that maybe he would come around and tell me what I wanted to hear, but he didn't and I didn't know what to do. So I moved in with you thinking that maybe you'd be able to help me get over him but you didn't. You became this wounded party, the one who had been wronged in the whole thing and I don't know, maybe you were but I don't think so because you knew about Brian going in." 

 

Ethan watched Justin pack and knew that this was the end. There was nothing he could say to make Justin stay. He knew now what it was about Justin that had been so different this morning. He had found himself again. "Where are you going? You going to go live with your Russian lover?" 

 

Justin stopped packing and faced Ethan again, taking a deep breath he said, "No, I'm going to Edinburgh. While we were in London, one of the professors saw my work and told me I should see about applying. So I did and was accepted with a full scholarship. All I need is my ticket home. You can cash in the rest of them since I won't be needing them." 

 

"And what if I won't give you your flight home?" Ethan said, trying to come up with another way to keep Justin from leaving. 

 

Justin sighed, already tired of Ethan's manipulations. "You told me that if I tried and it didn't work by the time we were half way through the tour, that you would send me home. Well, we're half way through the tour and I did try. If you don't, then I will contact my mom and she will send me the money or even buy me a ticket to get me away from you." 

 

Suddenly all the fight went out of Ethan, he knew he was beat and there wasn't anything more he could do. If he thought about it, he wasn't sure he really wanted to anymore. Walking over to his suitcase and pulled out Justin's return ticket. "Here, I don't know how long it will take for you to convert it to a flight out of St. Petersburg. I…will you stay the night?" 

 

Justin took the ticket from Ethan's hand. "I don't think I had better, unless you want to go stay with William." 

 

Ethan placed a hand on Justin's face, "I don't want to stay with William. If you're going to be leaving me in the next day or two, I want to stay with you." 

 

Justin placed his hand onto Ethan's and then moved away. "What good would that do either of us Ethan, none whatsoever. If you won't go to William, then I guess I'll go." Justin grabbed up his luggage and walked toward the door. 

 

Ethan stopped him before he could go out the door. "You know we could have been good together." 

 

Justin studied Ethan's face before bending and placing a light kiss on his lips. "Maybe if things had been different, if I had met you at another time, who knows. Goodbye Ethan, I hope that the tour continues to go well for you and that you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved and that you can love back in return." 

 

Justin walked out of the hotel and looked around. Taking a deep breath he felt happy. Turning to walk to Vassili's he stopped when he found him sitting on a bench nearby. Rising he walked toward Justin and took some of his bags. "I had a feeling that I would be having company tonight." 

 

Vassili didn't want to know what hadshappened and didn't care. He was just happy to have more time with Justin before he left. Once they got back to the apartment Vassili showed him just how happy he was to have him there even if it was only for a day or two at the most. 

 

The next two days were filled with laughter, wild passion, relaxation and adventure. It was a subdued couple that made their way to the airport the morning of Justin's departure. Justin had told Vassili that he didn't have to go with him but he had insisted. In the airport, they sat waiting for Justin's flight to be called. As they sat they talked always with some part of their bodies touching. When the flight was finally called Vassili walked Justin as far as he could. Before he got on, Justin turned and hugged Vassili tightly to him. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me to remember and find myself once again." 

 

Vassili felt tears start to gather but held them back. In Russian he said, " I love you my beautiful ray of sunshine. Thank you for coming into my life even for just a little while. I will always cherish you. 

 

Justin looked bewildered. "What did you just say?" 

 

Vassili smiled sadly and with a small kiss said, "It is a Russian blessing for a safe journey. Now you better go or you'll miss your plane. If you ever come back to St. Petersburg, look me up." Vassili handed Justin a business card in which on the back had his phone number and home address. 

 

Justin took the card and hugged Vassili tight before turning and walking toward the plane. With one final look back and a wave he disappeared from Vassili's sight. Vassili walked to the window, and even though he knew that Justin could not see him, remained there, and as the plane pulled away, waved one final time. Then, and only then, did he allow the tears he had been holding back to fall. 

 

Justin sat back in his seat and allowed a few tears to fall. He would miss Vassili, but he couldn't help the excitement that started to build as the plane took off on its way to Edinburgh. He was about to begin a new phase in his life and he couldn't help but look forward to it for he had already decided he was done looking back. From now on, he would only look forward. 

 

No apologies, no regrets.


	6. Glitter and Shine

"What the fuck?!" Brian reread the letter and looked at the check. Reaching for the intercom Brian called Cynthia. "Cynthia, get me the financial office at P.I.F.A." 

 

Brian sat back down at his desk and contemplated just what the letter meant. Cynthia buzzed Brian back, "Your call is on line one." 

 

Brian picked up the phone. "Yes, this is Brian Kinney and I'm sitting here looking at the return of my check for the tuition of Justin Taylor. May I ask why?" 

 

The voice over the phone reminded him of the old fashion telephone operators. "Are you a family member of the student?" 

 

Brian answered without thinking, "No but I'm paying his tuition so I think I have the right to know." 

 

"Then I'm sorry sir, but unless you are the student or can prove you're a family member, I can't release any information." The operator continued. "If you have any questions sir, I suggest that you take it up with them. Thank you for calling, good day." 

 

Brian sat there surprised; he couldn't believe that she had hung up on him. Gathering his things, he headed out the door. "Cynthia, I'm leaving. If Vance asks, tell him I had a family situation that needed my immediate attention." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian pulled up and parked at the administrations building at P.I.F.A. Getting out, he paused as he remembered the first time he had brought Justin here after the bashing. He couldn't stop the shudder that went through his body as the image of Justin, lying on the ground bleeding, flashed before him. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, he headed for the main office, briefcase with letter and check in hand. 

 

Brian walked up to the front desk and smiled when the receptionist acknowledged him. "Yes, I'm Brian Kinney and I'd like to speak with someone about one of your students. It's about his tuition." 

 

"If you'll have a seat Mr. Kinney, I'll see if there is anyone available. With classes starting in two weeks, you can see we're quite busy." The receptionist said pleasantly. 

 

Brian looked around and found an empty seat. Opening his briefcase, he had every intention of doing some work while he waited. Instead, he sat there looking at the letter and remembering the day when Justin had agreed to let him loan him the money, which was followed by Justin topping him for the first time. Just the memory of Justin thrusting into him over and over again, made him hard and he shifted in his seat at his discomfort. 

 

Looking around, he saw a tall nicely built red head give him a knowing smile. Brian arched an eyebrow at him and the young man nodded out the door, got up and left. Brian sat there for a minute before walking over to the desk. "I'll be right back." 

 

The receptionist nodded and Brian walked out the door and looked around. Spotting the bathroom, he walked inside where he found it empty except for the red head who stood there with his pants open and his hard-on thrusting through the opening. Without a word, Brian pulled the man into one of the stalls. As soon as the door was shut, the red head was on his knees opening Brian's pants and engulfed his cock. Brian let him suck him off for a few moments before deciding he needed more. Pushing the red head off, he raised him up and turned him around as he grabbed a condom out of his pants. 

 

Preparing the guy and himself, he quickly sank into the oblivion that fucking brought him. The red head began to jack himself off, as he got closer to his orgasm and as he reached it, Brian let go of the hold he had on his own. Pulling out, he disposed of the condom, zipped up his pants, and was washing his hands before the red head had finished cleaning himself up. As he walked out of the stall fastening his pants, he looked up to say something only to be greeted by the closing door of the bathroom. 

 

Brian walked back into the office and was immediately hailed by the receptionist. "Mr. Kinney, if you could come this way, Mr. Burke will see you now." 

 

Brian followed the receptionist back among the offices to the door of a Mr. Fred Burke. Thanking her, he stepped into the office and went straight into business mode. "Mr. Burke? Brian Kinney." Shaking the older man's hand, he sat when motioned. 

 

"Mr. Kinney, what can I do for you? I understand that you have a question about one of our students and their tuition." Mr. Burke sat back down and smiled kindly at Brian. 

 

Brian opened his briefcase and pulled out the check and letter. "Yes, I'd like to know why my check was returned? I was loaning Justin Taylor the money for his tuition and have never had a problem with you accepting the check before." 

 

Mr. Burke took and read the check and letter. Turning to his computer he typed in some information. "You said Justin Taylor?" He confirmed with Brian. At his nod, he continued to study the screen. 

 

"Mr. Kinney, what exactly is your relation to Mr. Taylor?" He asked. 

 

Brian thought about what to say but finally said, "Friends." 

 

Mr. Burke nodded. "Well Mr. Kinney the reason your check was returned is because Mr. Taylor is no longer a student here." Rising his hand to stop Brian from saying anything, he continued. "That is all I can tell you. I suggest that you ask Mr. Taylor for the answers you are seeking." 

 

Brian nodded and rose. "Thank you Mr. Burke." 

 

Mr. Burke rose and held out his hand. "You're welcome. I wish I could help you more, but I can't." 

 

Shaking the offered hand, Brian said, "I understand. Thank you for what you could tell me." Brian walked out of the office, down the hall, and out the main door not even noticing the red head that was following him with his eyes. 

 

Brian climbed into his jeep and pulled out his cell phone. "Hey Mikey, have you heard from Justin lately?" 

 

Michael, caught totally by surprised, answered "Huh? Uh…Yeah, I got an email just the other day about some ideas for the next issue of 'Rage'. Why?" 

 

"Has he said anything about when he'll be back?" Brian said. 

 

"No, he hasn't, but why all this sudden interest about when he'll be back?" Michael asked. 

 

"Not that it's any of your business Mikey but I had made a deal with Justin about P.I.F.A and I'm just trying to keep up my end of the bargain." 

 

Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Brian?! After what he did? Why?! You're not his boyfriend anymore and you don't owe him anything, remember?!" 

 

Brian sighed, "Of course I remember Mikey but it's not your decision to make and this has absolutely nothing to do with me being his boyfriend or not. I offered him a loan and he took it. He even insisted that we have a contract drawn up so that I would be sure to get paid back. I just need to talk with him about something that has to do with that." 

 

Michael let out his breath trying to calm himself. He had said he wasn't going to be this way any more about Brian and Justin, and here he was doing it the minute Brian showed interest in Justin. "Sorry Brian…I" 

 

Brian knew he shouldn't have called Mikey. "Look Mikey, I gotta go. I'll see you tonight at Woody's." Brian hung up the phone and thought about who might know what was going on besides Jennifer. 

 

Checking out the time, Brian drove to the dinner. He figured he could use getting a late lunch for an excuse to be there. 

 

Walking in he sat down at the counter and waited for Deb to come over. When she did, he placed his order and decided to wait until she brought his food before asking about Justin. 

 

Since the diner was slow at the time, it didn't take long for his food to arrive or for Deb to sit next to him. "So Brian, what brings you here at this time of day and don't say lunch. I know better." 

 

He should have known better. Swallowing the bite he had taken, he asked. "Deb, have you heard from Justin lately?" 

 

Deb looked at Brian, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I heard from him just the other day. You know, instead of getting your information about Justin through us, you could just email him yourself." 

 

Brian tried to hide his surprise. "I don't…" 

 

Deb laughed. "Oh yes you do, so don't even try to deny it. Don't worry kiddo; I doubt that anyone else has noticed but me. I've noticed the way you listen when the boys discuss their news from Justin. I've also noticed how if no one has said anything after a couple of days, you always manage to say something that gets them talking about him without ever having brought up his name." 

 

Brian looked down at his plate. "Did he say when he was coming home? I need to talk to him about school." Brian refused to acknowledge what Deb had just said even though he knew it was true. 

 

Deb sighed, "You know, it's okay to still care about him, to even still love him." 

 

When Brian didn't look up or respond she shook her head. Sometimes she just wanted to knock Brian upside the head. "No, he hasn't said, but I expect he'll be home soon. Do you want me to tell him to contact you when he does?" 

 

Brian handed Deb some money as he stood. "No, that's okay. I'm sure I'll see him around. Thanks Deb." 

 

Brian sat in his jeep. He had one person left before he would be forced to either email Justin himself or talk to Jennifer. 

 

Pulling into the muncher's driveway, he took a deep breath and got out. Ringing the bell, he hoped that Mel wasn't home or if she was, that she wouldn't give him any grief. He really didn't think he could deal with it today. 

 

When Lindsey opened the door with Gus, he was glad. "Hey sunny boy! Come see your old man." 

 

Lindsey, surprised to see Brian, handed Gus to him. "Brian? What are you doing here?" 

 

Gus meanwhile, happy to see Brian, began to clap his hands onto Brian's face. "Dada! Dada!" 

 

Brian nuzzled Gus and played like he was going to eat Gus' neck. Walking into the living room, he was relieved to find Mel not home. Brian continued to play with Gus for a while longer; as if that was the main reason he had come. Finally he turned to Lindsey to ask her about Justin as Gus wandered off and returned with a small book. "Jus!" 

 

Brian took the book that Gus handed him and waited for Gus to climb back into his lap. "Jus!" Gus said, patting the book. 

 

Brian looked down at the book and noticed Justin's work gracing the cover. Opening it, he realized that it was a journal that Justin had turned into a book for Gus. 

 

Inside, Justin had drawn pictured of places he had been and written funny little stories about his trip. Intermingled among the drawings were postcards and photos, some of which included Justin. 

 

Brian paused to study each drawing and photo, soaking it all in. He tried to ignore the sad eyes and the not so bright smiles that were staring back at him from the photos. The one thing he didn't ignore though, was the fact that the fiddle player wasn't in a single one. There were no couple's photos. 

 

When he was finished reading the book to Gus, he handed it back to Gus who got down and went to happily play with his toys. Brian looked up at Lindsey who looked back at him with sadness and understanding. Before she could say anything that Brian knew he didn't want to hear, he asked his question. "I can see you've heard from Justin but has he said anything about when he's coming back? I have a couple of questions to ask him about P.I.F.A." 

 

Lindsey watched as Brian began to shut himself down and knew that he didn't want to hear what she had to say. Instead he threw her off balance by asking a question about the very person she hadn't expected him to ask about. "No, he hasn't said anything, but he should be home around the end of the week." 

 

Brian immediately stood. "Come here sonny boy and tell your old man bye." Brian carried Gus to the door. "Thanks Linds, see ya sonny boy." Brian gave Gus a kiss before handing him to Lindsey. 

 

"Brian…" Lindsey began but he kept walking to his jeep and waved over his shoulder. Lindsey just shook her head as she watched him go. "Your Dada really misses Justin." 

 

"Jus! Jus!" Gus wiggled out of Lindsey's arms and ran back into the living room. Lindsey shut the door and followed, finding Gus standing at the coffee table looking through his book. When she sat down beside him, Gus looked up at her with a huge smile. 

 

Brian climbed into his jeep and sat there thinking of the book that Justin had made for Gus. He closed his eyes at the pain he felt in his heart when he recalled the sadness he had seen in Justin's eyes. Opening his eyes, he drove home. 

 

Walking into the loft, he went and turned on the computer. Going into the bathroom, he started the shower. Walking back to the computer, he checked, as he had everyday since he left, to see if he had an email from Justin. He thought for sure that this time he would find one, at least to explain about P.I.F.A. Opening up a blank email, he sat there and stared at it for several minutes before shutting down the computer, email unwritten. 

 

After his shower, he began to get dressed to meet Michael, and continued to think about Justin. He finally admitted to himself that maybe he was wrong to have pushed Justin away. Taking a long look at himself, he came to a decision, and as he did so, he felt a weight lift from his chest and he smiled. When Justin got home, they were going to have a talk, a long talk. 

 

He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say, but he was going to insist that they talk, and he didn't care if Justin's fiddle player liked it or not. What would happen afterwards, would happen and if people didn't like it, they could just go fuck themselves. 

 

Arriving at Woody's, Brian kissed Michael hi and ordered a beer. Michael eyed him suspiciously. "What are you on?" 

 

Brian looked at Michael, "What do you mean, what am I on?" 

 

"Well", Michael said not sure if he wanted to know but couldn't keep the whine out of his voice. "You've been surly and moody for months and now suddenly you're in the really good mood." 

 

Brian looked at Michael, shook his head and took a drink of his beer. "Come on, let's play." 

 

Rising, Brian made his way over to an empty pool table. Michael started to follow when Ben stopped him. "Michael, you need to leave it alone. I know you're his best friend but look at what happened last time you didn't." 

 

Michael opened his mouth to snap back but stopped when it hit him. Yes, Brian had been moody and as much as he wanted to blame it all on Justin, he knew that if he hadn't said anything that things might now be different. Closing his mouth, he nodded, and he and Ben joined Brian. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Two Days Later… 

Brian walked into the loft, walked over to the computer and turned it on. While it booted up, he began to remove his clothes. He had been in meetings all day and was glad that the day was over. Seeing the light flashing on his answering machine, he went over to listen to them. 

 

**************** 

Michael 

 

"Oh. My. God! Brian! You're not going to believe this! Justin isn't coming home! He's staying in Europe! Call me! 

 

**************** 

Lindsey 

 

"Brian, it's Linds. I tried calling you today to see if you wanted to stop by. I've…I heard from Justin today and thought you might like to know what he had to say. Give me a call. Love you, Bye. 

 

**************** 

 

Debbie 

 

"Hey Kiddo, listen, I'm sure Michael has spilled the news about Justin. I'm sorry. It's a good opportunity for him. Just think, a full scholarship. Maybe now you'll write him. He's going to be gone a long time Brian, but it isn't forever or too late." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian felt his heart lurch at Michael's message but now he was confused as well. What was Debbie babbling on about? Reaching for his phone, he dialed Lindsey's, knowing that she wouldn't preach or get all hysterical. 

 

"Hey Linds, I was in meetings all day. What's going on? I got a spastic message from Michael saying Justin's not coming home, a cryptic message from you with news and then a message from Deb talking about Justin and some scholarship?" 

 

Brian heard Lindsey take a deep breath and release it before she responded. "Brian, why don't you come over for dinner and we can talk about it then." 

 

Brian's heart sank even more and he felt almost nauseous. "I can't. I'm beat and staying home to get some much needed sleep. It's obvious that it's true, so just tell me already." 

 

Brian sat down and waited for the bad news. 

 

"While Justin was in London, he was approached by a professor of the Edinburgh College of Art and was told that he should apply. Brian, it's the oldest art school in the world and one of the most prestigious." Lindsey added quickly. 

 

"Go on." Brian said waiting to hear the rest. 

 

"Anyway, Justin went and checked out the school and applied. He was accepted with a full scholarship." 

 

"Of course he was. The school would have been stupid not to accept him." Brian said, proud as always of Justin and his talent, "What about what's his name?" 

 

"Ethan?" Lindsey said, trying to decide just how much to tell him. "They broke up. Justin said that he tried but it just wasn't going to work. That his heart just wasn't in it." 

 

Lindsey hoped that Brian got the message she was sending him. 

 

"Thanks Linds. I'll come by tomorrow to take Gus to the park if that's okay." Brian said, suddenly sounding tired to Lindsey. 

 

"Sure Brian, he'd love that." Lindsey said tenderly. 

 

"See you tomorrow." Brian said. 

 

"Bye Brian." Lindsey said as she heard the click of the phone. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian hung up the phone and sat staring at it for several minutes. Rising, he looked over at his computer but made no move toward it. Instead he decided he wanted a shower before he dealt with anyone or anything else. 

 

Brian stepped out of his shower to hear his phone ringing and someone banging on his door. Wrapping a towel around his waist and leaving a trail of water, opened the door to a frantic Michael who hung up his phone, which stopped the ringing of Brian's. 

 

"Jesus Brian! Why didn't you call me! I've just been trying to get in touch with you all day." Michael pushed past Brian and began to pace the room. 

 

"Well gee Mikey, maybe because I was in meetings all day, and if you'd notice, I just stepped out of the shower." Brian said sarcastically. He was in no mood for Michael's shit tonight. 

 

"Oh," Michael said quietly but quickly let his feelings get the better of him. "I can't believe that little shit! Do you know what he's done now?" 

 

Brian walked back into his bedroom. "Yeah, he's accepting the opportunity of a lifetime. So what's your problem?" 

 

Michael stared at Brian in astonishment. "You mean you know he's going to go to school there and he still expects you to pay for him?! And you're going to do it too I suppose. God Brian! Forget the little asshole already. You don't owe him anything!" 

 

Brian was pulling on his clothes but stopped in shock and anger at Michael's tirade. How dare he act this way! "Get out." 

 

Michael stopped speaking "What…? But Brian!" 

 

Brian stalked toward Michael, the anger radiating off him, and forcing Michael back toward the door. "You are unfucking believable. Where do you get off acting the injured party here? He was my partner, not yours and what I chose to do or not do for him is none of your business. Justin is a brilliant artist and deserves every chance he gets to study and refine his work, and if you MUST know, he did it all on his own." 

 

Stopping at the loft door with Michael on the outside, Brian paused. "Grow up Michael and get a grip." 

 

With that he slammed and locked the door in Michael's shocked face. 

 

Brian leaned again the door and tried to calm himself down. Looking over at his computer he saw that he had mail and walked over to see what it was. Pulling up his email, he quickly scanned through it, deleting some, scanning others, and then there it was, at the bottom. A letter from Justin. Nervously he sat there, staring at the screen, trying to get up the nerve to open it. He knew what it was going to say, but he just wasn't sure that he wanted to see it for himself. 

 

Finally taking a deep breath, he opened Justin's letter. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: Bkinney@earthlink.net 

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

 

Hi Brian, 

 

I know by now that you've probably heard from P.I.F.A. already but it's been hard for me to figure out just what to say to you. I appreciate everything you've done for me, and that you were willing to continue to pay for my education, and as hard as it may be to believe, I still do care about what you think. I got this great opportunity here to go to the Edinburgh College of Art with a full three-year scholarship. I accepted it. I know that you probably don't want to hear it and I don't know if you know it already or not, but I broke it off with Ethan. No matter what he did or I did it just wasn't going to work. I didn't love him and he deserved to be loved. I still miss you but realize that I have to get on with my life and that's what I'm going to do. I hope that when you think of me, if you ever do, that it won't be with anger or hatred. Well, anyway, I just thought I should let you know that I was all right and what was going on. 

 

Love Always 

Justin 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian sat there and reread the letter. Saving the letter, Brian began to research the school. He wanted to make sure that it was all it was cracked up to be. 

 

Two hours later, Brian sat back, impressed and satisfied with what he had found out about the school. Pulling up Justin's letter, he reread it again. Opening, he responded. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

From: Bkinney@earthlink.net 

 

Justin, 

 

I did indeed hear back from P.I.F.A., and in confusion went to the school to find out what was going on. The only thing they would tell me was that you had quit. I had thought about emailing you, but knew that you were due home soon so I thought I'd wait and talk to you then. I guess now we know what's going on though, don't we. The school looks to be a really good one and… 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian paused as he thought about all he wanted to say, what he would say, and how he was going to say it. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

I know that you will do great there and I hope that they realize how lucky they are to have you. I'd like for you to keep me informed of your progress and if there is anything that you ever need, anything at all, all you have to do is ask, even if it's just to talk. You know how to reach me. 

 

Brian 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian reread his letter and sent it. He knew it didn't say what he wanted to say, and even may have sounded a little cold, but he wasn't going to deny Justin this opportunity, especially one that was offered and he went after. Much like the Justin he used to be. He also wasn't sure how to warm it up without doing that. He only hoped that Justin would reply back. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian went on acting like business as usual, while inside he was growing more worried and impatient, for two days before he heard back from Justin. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: Bkinney@earthlink.net 

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

 

Brian, 

 

It was good to hear from you and know that you understand and support my decision. It really is a great school. I know that I should have written sooner but I just wasn't sure what to say, especially since how we parted. I am sorry about that. Oh well, no sense going over that. You should see this school! It is really amazing. It's still a little strange being here in Edinburgh, but Bruce and Arden have really made me feel at home. Bruce is the professor who recommended me to the school and has made sure that I've been given a fair deal everywhere. The school was really impressed with my work on 'Rage', and because of it, I might not even have to take some of the required courses that I'm supposed to take. 

 

So how are you doing and don't give me any of your bullshit answers. How's work and Cynthia? I hear from Lindsey on a regular basis and it sounds as if Gus is growing fast. That's one of the things I'm going to hate about living over here for the next three years. I'm going to miss watching Gus grow. I hope that he doesn't forget me but I don't see how he couldn't since he's so young. 

 

Well, I better get going. Bruce is taking me to look over some apartments or flats as they're called over here. I'll keep in touch. 

 

Love Always 

Justin 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian sat back with a smile at the enthusiasm that Justin was feeling about the school. He could feel it pouring off of the letter. Saving the letter, Brian decided to answer it later as he had plans that he was already running late for. 

 

The next day at work, Brian sat studying his schedule. He had come up with an idea and was going to wait to write Justin until after he had finalized his plans. In frustration he realized that he was booked solid for the next two weeks and there was no way he could cancel or move any of them. However, the following week he had only a couple of things scheduled and he could easily reschedule those. Blocking off that time on his calendar, he began making notes and called Cynthia into the office. 

 

"Cynthia, I need this week cleared on my schedule." Brian said as he handed her a copy as he continued to make notes. "Then get me a flight to Edinburgh. I'll be gone the entire week. If anyone asks, tell them I've gone on a business trip to California or somewhere else and that I'll be in meetings practically the whole time so it won't do any good to try and reach me. I will have my cell phone with me and they can leave a voice mail and I'll try to contact them when I can." 

 

Cynthia nodded and smiled. "So are you going after Justin?" 

 

Brian looked up from his notes and smiled slightly back. "No, but we do need to talk and doing it over email just isn't the way to do it." 

 

Cynthia quit smiling and looked a little confused. "Oh, okay. Well, tell him hello for me and give him my best wishes." 

 

Brian nodded and went back to his notes and Cynthia turned to leave. "Thanks Cynthia and I'll tell him." 

 

Cynthia turned and looked at her boss, but he continued to make his notes, so she left. She only hoped that Brian knew what he was doing, and that whatever it was that he was going to do would help him if not get back to normal, then to make him, be a little easier on himself, because if he didn't lighten up, he was going to end up driving himself into an early grave. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The next two weeks were extremely busy for Brian. He had sent a reply back to Justin telling him about his busy two weeks but hadn't said anything about his plans. He also hadn't told anyone else about his plans either, and that was the way he planned to keep it. He didn't need anyone interfering or butting in where they didn't belong. 

 

Finally it was the day for his trip, and everything went as planned. He arrived at the airport with no one the wiser and boarded his plane. The flight was long but uneventful and it was a nervous Brian who stepped off the plane, went through customs, and hired a taxi to take him to his hotel. Now all he had left to do was see Justin.


	7. Glitter and Shine

Brian stood across the quad and watched a smiling Justin talk animatedly to the older man who walked beside him. He tried to remember the last time he had seen Justin smile like that and realized that it had been a long time. Probably when he had said yes to the trip to Vermont. Before that, he had a hard time remembering a time after the bashing. The closest he could recall would have to be after he admitted to them having a relationship. 

 

Brian continued to watch the two men; he finally had to admit that Justin was a man, as they walked in his direction. He couldn't keep the sudden surge of emotion from hitting him as he watched the older man wrap an arm around him. Brian knew it was just a friendly gesture by the expressions on the men's faces and had to force open his hands from the fists they had made. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he stepped out onto the sidewalk and moved to intercept them. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin was excitedly telling Bruce about his new flat when he felt someone watching him. Looking around, he stopped when he saw a familiar figure walking toward him. After all this time he still couldn't stop the butterflies in his stomach or the lurch of his heart as Brian continued to move toward him. 

 

Bruce stopped and looked at Justin in puzzlement as he had stopped walking and talking in mid-sentence. "Justin?" 

 

When Justin didn't say anything, he followed Justin's line of sight to see what he was looking at and saw a tall, handsome man walking toward them. He knew it wasn't Justin's ex, Ethan because he had seen the pictures of the CD cover that Justin had done for him. Studying Justin carefully, he saw love, hurt, and longing in his eyes. Bruce knew at that moment that this had to be Brian. Justin had told him a little bit about Brian and how he was the inspiration for his comic book character of 'Rage'. "Justin?" He asked once again as Brian reached them. 

 

"Hello Sunshine." Brian said with a slight smile. 

 

"Brian?" Justin couldn't believe what he was seeing. "What are you doing here?" 

 

Brian couldn't keep his smile from getting bigger at the surprise on Justin's face. "You said I should see this place, so I thought why not." 

 

Brian looked over at the man standing next to Justin and held out his hand. "You must be Bruce Kirkland. Brian Kinney." 

 

Taking the hand offered to him, "Yes, I am, Mr. Kinney." 

 

"Brian, please." he continued to smile but turned the majority of his attention back to Justin. "So Justin, are you going to show me around or not?" 

 

Justin couldn't believe that Brian was here, yet here he was standing in front of him. "I...I, sure but I have class in just a few minutes. It will have to be later." 

 

Brian tried to hide his disappointment and thought that he had done a good job until he saw Bruce watching him. Justin however didn't see it, for which he was grateful. "That's fine. Where do you want to meet and when?" 

 

Justin looked back at Brian from where he had been studying a nearby building trying to decide what to do, in surprise. "Ugh, what hotel are you staying at and I can come there after my classes are done?" 

 

Brian took in the continued surprised looks that were crossing Justin's face and couldn't help but wonder if he had been that self centered, but knew that he had never asked Justin to skimp on his schooling, so he wondered why Justin was so shocked by it all. "I'm staying at the Balmoral at 1 Princes St." 

 

Justin nodded and wrote down the information. "Do you want me to call when I get there?" 

 

Brian waited for Justin to look back up at him. "No, just come on up. I'm in Suite #3. I'll probably be working and that will allow me to finish up without keeping you waiting." 

 

Justin studied Brian's face, looking to see if he meant anything else by his statement but didn't see anything else there. "Okay. I should be done with classes in about three hours. I'll see you then." 

 

Justin looked up as the bell began to chime in the bell tower. "I've got to go or I'm going to be late. I'll see you later Brian. See ya later Bruce." 

 

Both men watched as Justin took off down the sidewalk. Actually Brian watched Justin and Bruce watched Brian. When Justin was gone, Brian turned back and saw Bruce watching him. 

 

"Why are you here really Brian?" Bruce asked as he began to stroll down the sidewalk past Brian. 

 

Brian joined him and anyone seeing them together would have thought they were just having a casual conversation, not discussing the welfare of another person. "I came to see Justin. We...have some unfinished business to discuss, plus I wanted to see for myself that he really was okay." 

 

Bruce nodded his head in understanding. "That's fine, but please don't mess up this opportunity for him." 

 

Brian looked over at Bruce. "I have no intention of talking him out of this. He needs to do this." 

 

Bruce stopped and faced Brian. "I'm glad to hear that, but please don't hurt him. He's been through a lot these past few months and doesn't need that on top of it." 

 

Brian studied Bruce. "Why? What has happened?" 

 

Bruce shook his head. "That is not for me to tell. You will need to ask Justin about his summer." 

 

Brian continued to study Bruce and came to a decision. "Bruce, I'm only going to be here for three more days, four if you include the day I leave. Once I'm gone, look out for him okay? I know he's an adult and can look out for himself but…well anyway." 

 

Bruce nodded his head in understanding. Brian Kinney might not tell Justin that he loved him but he did in his own way. 

 

Brian nodded back and then left, leaving Bruce standing on the sidewalk watching him. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian walked back to his hotel. He needed it to clear his head and calm himself down. He hadn't meant for Bruce to know how he felt for Justin, but somehow he seemed to know and it made him uncomfortable. He wasn't used to anyone reading him, and here it seemed that everyone was. First Deb, then Cynthia, and now Bruce, a total stranger. 

 

Still contemplating what he was going to say to Justin, he was a block past his hotel before he realized it. Shaking his head, he turned back and went up to his room. He decided to get some of the work he had brought with him done. It would help to take his mind off of Justin and what he was going to do. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Three and a half hours later, Justin stood outside of Brian's hotel room but as of yet hadn't knocked. He was nervous, heck, if he admitted it to himself, he was downright scared. He couldn't believe that Brian was there but why? Sure, Brian had said it was because he had said he should see the school, but what was the real reason? For the fifth time, he raised his hand to knock before bringing it back down. The last thing he wanted to see when the door opened was Brian and some trick. That thought alone almost made him turn around and not see Brian, but he knew he would never find out what was going on if he didn't see him. Besides, Brian would just find him if he didn't show up today like he said he would. Screwing up his courage, he raised his hand and before he lost it, knocked on the door. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian heard the knock and glanced at his watch. He knew it must be Justin but he wasn't ready yet. Walking to the door, he continued to talk to Cynthia about the latest problem they were having as he opened the door and motioned Justin inside. Walking back over to his computer, he looked one more time at the latest screw up. "Cynthia, I don't care if they do complain about having to rework the whole thing. This is garbage and I want it done. You tell them, they either do it right or they can start looking for another job. This is the third time I've asked them to do it this way and I'm not going to do it again." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin was pleasantly surprised to find Brian working and not a single sign of a trick ever having been in the rooms. He continued to walk around the suite, exploring. He hadn't been surprised at all when Brian had said he was staying at the Balmoral. After all, it was one of the best hotels in the area and the furnishing of Brian's suite was proof of that. While it was very state of the art with it's electronics, everything else gave the air of 18th Century splendor. Walking over to the window, Justin was surprised to see that he could see most of his school, as well as a magnificent view of the castle. 

 

Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Brian was still on the phone and now the computer, trying to work out some problem that was going on back home. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out his pad and pencil and sat down once he had found the perfect spot for the view of the castle. As he began to draw, he felt some of the tension of the last few hours drop away and he got lost in his work. It wasn't until he felt the back of a hand caress his check that he realized just how lost he had gotten. 

 

"Brian, I…" Justin began. 

 

"Are you hungry? I am, I missed lunch." Brian interrupted Justin, wanting to hold off the conversation as long as he could. 

 

Justin couldn't help but stare at Brian. "Yeah, I am." 

 

Brian nodded and walked back over to the desk. "I read about this restaurant, it seems a little touristy but from what I understand the food is really good. It's called, "The Witchery by the Castle". So what do you think? Shall we go check it out?" 

 

Justin couldn't believe it but nodded his head in agreement, rose to his feet, and walked to the door, which Brian held open for him. Justin thought that Brian would probably get a cab but could only shake his head when he began to walk down the street. He just didn't know what to think. The way Brian had been acting all day just wasn't like him and he was beginning to worry. 

 

The walk to the restaurant was quiet. Neither one of them knew just what to say or even how to say it. Once there, they were to busy taking in the oak paneled walls, low ceilings, opulent wall hangings, and red-leather upholstery. Brian decided on the roast quail with tarragon, tomato and chanterelles while Justin ordered the honey-roasted Gressingham duck with savory cabbage, bacon, and sweet potato rosti. Looking over the wine list, Brian finally decided on one out of the 1000 brands that they offered. 

 

Once the waiter had moved away, they sat quietly, each feeling the awkward silence grow around them and neither sure what to say to make it go away. Finally, Brian asked. "So tell me about school and your classes." 

 

Justin smiled slightly and with relief began to do exactly that. He told about the classes he was taking and how the college was connected to the university and how he was allowed to take classes there as well. He explained about the classes he was taking and those that he was being given credit for without having to take them. This was being done by the head of the Illustration Department for his illustration work on 'Rage' and for his computer graphics classes. It was because of this he was able to take other classes that he normally wouldn't have had time to take. He explained how his hand still gave him trouble on occasion and that the head of the Drawing and Painting Department was helping him to continue to strengthen it while bettering his technique. 

 

Brian never interrupted him but looked at the happiness and joy that seemed to radiate from Justin, and knew that he was doing the right thing. He was done pushing people over cliffs. He finally figured it out that by doing that, he was hurting the people he cared about more than if he had done it gently. 

 

When Justin finally stopped, Brian asked. "So do you think you can find some time in your busy schedule to show me around?" 

 

Justin searched Brian's face for his usual cynicism but found none. "Sure, I only have classes for half of the day tomorrow, and none over the weekend but…" 

 

Brian arched his eyebrow and gave a slight grin. "But?" 

 

Justin began to smile back at Brian. "Well, you see. I just got a flat and was going to be moving in this weekend." 

 

Brian nodded. "Well, I'll make a deal with you. How about you show me around Friday and part of Saturday and the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday I'll help you move into your flat." 

 

Justin's smile got bigger. "Deal. So tell me, how long are you here for?" 

 

Brian continued smiling, "I leave on Monday." He wasn't about to tell Justin that he had gotten here this past Sunday but had been checking things out for himself and trying to decide what to say. 

 

Justin's smile faltered. "So why are you really here, Brian." As much as he had enjoyed his dinner with Brian, he still didn't know why he had come. 

 

Brian paid for their meal and rose without answering Justin. Once they got outside, Brian started walking rather slowly and lit up cigarette. "Justin, the reason I came was…so I could see for myself that you were alright. I know you keep saying you are but I just needed to see it for myself." Brian refused to look at Justin but kept walking toward his hotel and smoking his cigarette. "After all, there you were in a foreign country, without any family or friends, completely alone. I checked out the school so I knew it was all on the level, but I just needed to see for myself. Okay?" 

 

By the time Brian was finished, so was his cigarette. They had almost reached his hotel and he was nervous as hell, but he wasn't about to let Justin know that. When Justin still hadn't said a word, Brian stopped and looked at him. 

 

Justin stopped as well but still didn't know what to say to Brian. He knew that it had taken a lot from Brian to admit the little that he had, but why now? Why not before he had left for Europe or even before that? And that's when it dawned on him. Because of Ethan. He had been with Ethan then, someone that the others had gotten to know a little bit. With this revelation, he went over what Brian had just said and realized that he had wishfully changed it in his own mind to mean something else. He was not going to keep doing that. Brian was obviously trying to be his friend and Justin realized that he wanted that as well. "Well, as you can see, and will see as I show you around and you help me move, I'm fine. I'm really doing okay." 

 

Brian nodded. He had seen the array of emotions going on behind Justin's eyes before he had answered and knew that the talk he had planned really was going to be necessary if things were going to work out. Upon reaching the hotel, Brian asked, "So, do you want to come up for while?" 

 

Justin grinned but shook his head no. "Brian, I don't think that is such a good idea." 

 

Brian sighed, but knew then what Justin thought he had meant by the invite and couldn't stop the smile from crossing his face either at the thought. "Justin, I didn't mean do you want to come up and fuck. I have some photos I thought you might like, and thought that we could talk some more." 

 

Justin knew better then to turn the invitation down again, especially if Brian Kinney wanted to talk. If he did, they might not ever talk and he really wanted to hear what Brian had to say. "Okay, but I can't stay too long as I have an early class in the morning." 

 

Brian nodded and led the way to the elevator. Suddenly, he was nervous. The silence in the elevator was filled with a nervous energy and it remained until they got to Brian's room. "Why don't you have a seat, I'll go get the pictures." 

 

Justin took off his jacket and sat nervously. Brian came back with a handful of photos and handed them to Justin. As he began to flip through them, Brian started telling him about what led up to them. There were pictures of everyone and before long, they were both laughing as each picture and tale was revealed. When they were through, Justin tried to give them back but Brian refused. "Those are for you." 

 

Justin was touched and looked down quickly as he didn't want Brian to see how his gesture touched him. He looked into the faces of those he cared for as he fought to control his emotions and clear his vision. When it did clear, he noticed the time on his watch and was surprised to find that it was almost 1:30 a.m. "Oh Shit Brian, I have to go. I didn't realize the time and I've got to get home and get some sleep." 

 

Brian didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that Justin wasn't going to stay. He was glad that the pictures had taken so long, but knew that his time was running out. "Okay, why don't you drop by here when your last class is done, unless you want to me to meet you somewhere?" 

 

Together they walked toward the door as Justin slipped on his jacket. "Here s fine. My classes are from 7 till 11:30 so we can go get some lunch too." 

 

Brian nodded as he opened the door. "Sounds good." 

 

Justin started to walk out the door but stopped when Brian said his name. "Justin…Thanks. It's good seeing you again." 

 

He couldn't help himself, leaning forward, he lightly kissed Justin, without hesitation, Justin kissed him back. It wasn't a passion filled kiss but a tentative, caring kiss. Brian pulled back just a little and looked into Justin's eyes before Justin reached up for another kiss. While this one wasn't filled with passion either, it did hold a promise of what could be. 

 

Breaking off the kiss, Justin smiled, and walked out the door, turned his head for another look of Brian and said, "Later." 

 

Brian returned his smile and said, "Later." Closing the door he couldn't keep the smile from getting wider on his face and as he went into the bedroom, he felt that the talk that he and Justin needed to have might not be so bad after all. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The next morning, Brian was up and finishing his work when Justin knocked on his door. Still feeling the happiness from last night he smiled a happy smile at Justin who returned it with one of his own. "Right on time. I just finished up with everything I needed to do today so for the rest of the day, I'm yours." 

 

"Great!" Justin said excitedly to be spending the rest of the day with this confusing and surprising Brian. "Have you thought of anyplace you'd like to eat?" 

 

Brian shook his head. "No, I thought I'd leave that up to you since you're the tour guide." Grabbing his jacket, he joined Justin and together they made their way out of the hotel. 

 

Justin paused outside and automatically turned his face up into the sun. Edinburgh rarely reached 70 degrees and while he was slowly getting used to it, he still enjoyed feeling the heat of the sun. 

 

Brian stood beside Justin and felt his breath catch at the site of Justin in the sun. Quickly he put on his sunglasses and cleared his throat. "So, what are you in the mood for?" 

 

Justin looked over at Brian and smiled. "Oh, I don't know. There is a great curry house down by the pier but there is also a neat little pub there as well that serves seafood and steak. What do you think?" 

 

Brian laughed, "I think whichever one you decide on, we'll be needing a cab." 

 

Justin laughed as Brian got the doorman to get them a taxi. Climbing in, Justin gave the driver directions and they were on their way to the pier. Once they got to the pier, the smell of food made both of their stomachs grow and they quickly decided on Britannia Spice, the curry house. Looking around Brian almost felt like he was on a ship as the décor was that of an ocean liner. Once they were seated they looked over the wide range of dishes that were available to them. There were dishes from Northern India, Bangladesh, Nepal, Thailand and Sri Lanka. Talking to their waiter, they were informed that the restaurant was an award winner and proceeded to tell them about several dishes that they had never heard of before. Making their choices, they talked about their day so far and then Justin began to tell him about the city of Edinburgh and some of the places that he wanted to take Brian. 

 

Brian watched at how animated Justin was and listened to what Justin saying as he continued to think about whether to talk with Justin now or wait until later. As the food arrived, he decided to wait until later. He knew that he was just putting it off, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't want to take the chance of ruining what was looking to be a very good day. They both jumped when the canon at Edinburgh Castle went off. Justin started laughing. "It's one o'clock." 

 

Brian laughed as well. "I don't know how you're going to get used to that." 

 

Justin got his laughter under control. "I don't know, but at least I'll always know the time." 

 

Once they were done eating, they decided to take the Royal Mile and work their way back to Edinburgh Castle. Their first stop was the Palace of Holyroodhouse & Holyrood Abbey. They took the tour that was offered and ended with the Great Gallery. Justin had left his books but had still brought his sketchpad in his backpack. He couldn't resist pulling it out to make sketches. Brian walked over to him on occasion and made the odd comments that would crack him up. Shortly afterward, Justin would finish up his picture and they would move on. Justin couldn't help but compare Brian and Ethan and how Brian never was impatient or made him feel as if he needed to hurry or that what he was doing was a waste of time. 

 

When they finished there, they passed by the nearly completed Scottish Parliament building and made their way up to Canongate where they went through the Canongate Tolbooth and the Huntly House which now houses the Museum of Edinburgh. 

 

Leaving Canongate, they made their way to High St. They bypassed the John Knox House and the Brass Rubbing Centre. Justin was all for going into the Museum of Childhood but Brian refused and no amount of pleading could get him to budge. They walked through the Mercat Cross and into St. Giles Cathedral. Coming out on the other side, they stopped. Brian looked confused and then disgusted when Justin spit on a cobblestone heart in the pavement. "Why did you do that?" 

 

Justin laughed at Brian's look. "You spit on the 'Heart of Midlothian' for luck." 

 

"Oh, well in that case…" Brian raised his eyebrow and spit on the heart as Justin began to laugh. "Come on. Show me some more of your new home." 

 

Justin continued laughing and without thinking linked his arm with Brian's. Brian looked over in surprise but realized that Justin had done it without though and did nothing to remove it. 

 

Passing by the old parliament buildings, they were soon in Lawnmarket. Justin surprised Brian by taking him to The Writers' Museum where they saw and read some of the manuscripts and memorabilia that belonged to Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott and Robert Louis Stevenson. From there they went to Gladstone's Land. Brian looked around but his favorite sight was when Justin pulled out his sketchbook and got swept away by the painted ceilings, walls, and beams. When Justin was finished, they decided it was time to move on to Castlehill. 

 

In Castlehill, they went to the Highland Tolbooth Kirk, which has the tallest spire in Edinburgh. Once inside they went to the Hub where they sat in the café and relaxed while having a drink. Brian laughed when Justin walked over with food as well. "What? I was hungry." 

 

Brian shook his head. "Aren't you always?" 

 

Justin answered by taking a bite and chewing. After they were finished, they went to the Outlook Tower and Camera Obscura where they had some great views of the city. 

 

Their next stop was one of Brian's favorites, The Scotch Whisky Heritage Centre. There they took the tour and got to have a taste of the real thing before going into the shop at the end filled with whisky. Brian was about to buy some when Justin stopped him. "We can get the same thing cheaper just down the street at Odd-bins." 

 

Brian looked at Justin but surprisingly set the bottle down and followed him out the door and down the street. Justin opened the door and was greeted by the man behind the counter. "Justin! Ciamar a tha thu?" (How are you?) 

 

Justin smiled and said, "Gle` mhath, tapadh leat." (Very well, thank you.) 

 

The man laughed. "That was pretty good. You are getting much better. What can I get for you today?" 

 

Justin couldn't help smiling back. "Mr. Campbell, this is my friend Brian from the states and he wants to by some of your fine Scotch Whisky." 

 

"Ah, well lets see what I can do for you Brian." Mr. Campbell began to show Brian all kinds of bottles and types. 

 

When they walked out of the shop, Brian bought only one, but three bottles and had a burning question in his mind. "Justin? How does Mr. Campbell know you so well?" He was concerned that Justin might have started drinking too much. 

 

Justin kept walking, "Bruce introduced me to him. They've known each other for years and he lets me run errands for him when I'm in need of a little pocket money. He also sells the best whisky in town." 

 

Brian nodded, not completely happy with the answer but knew it wasn't his place to say anything. Their last stop on the Royal Mile was Edinburgh Castle itself. There they saw the Stone of Destiny, The Honours of Scotland, and the Royal Apartments among others spots of interest. 

 

By the time they finished the tours of the castle, it was getting dark and they decided to head on back to the hotel where they would have dinner. Afterwards, they went back to Brian's suite. Brian was once again nervous but knew that his time was up. He had two more days and that was it. 

 

Once they were seated and one of the bottles of whisky opened, they talked more about their day and some of the things they had seen. When the bottle was half empty, Brian decided that it was time. "Justin, listen. We need to talk. There are some things I need to say but I don't want you to take them the wrong way." 

 

Justin had been feeling warm and fuzzy until Brian spoke. Sitting up, he put his glass down. "Okay, what?" He knew this was what Brian had really come for. 

 

Brian sighed, "I…the reason I came here was for what I told you, but it was for more than that." Standing, he moved to look out the window, but he could still see Justin's reactions reflected in it. "I came here because you didn't come home and we have some unfinished business to discuss." 

 

Justin looked confused, but didn't say anything so Brian continued. "If you had come home, regardless of whether you were with Ethan or not, I was going to insist that we talk. I was going to tell you that…" 

 

Brian paused and took a deep drink. "You were going to tell me what Brian?" Justin asked, barely releasing his breath. 

 

Brian lowered his glass and caught Justin's eyes in the window. "I was going to tell you that…I…care for you." 

 

When he heard Justin's breath draw in quickly, he turned to face him. "Now don't get me wrong. I didn't come here to sweep you off your feet with a bunch of mushy romantic dribble. I'm not here to proclaim my undying love for you either. I just wanted you to know that I care. I always have and I always will." 

 

Justin nodded and tried to keep the hurt from showing on his face. Brian saw it anyway and went to sit on the coffee table in front of Justin. "Justin, I also wanted you to know that I miss you. I miss us but I think this time apart is good for us. You need the time to grow and experience all that the world has to offer you." 

 

When Justin started to protest, Brian stopped him with a raised hand. "It's not just good for you. It's good for me also. Being with you and living with you has shown me things and made me feel things that I never expected too. I need time to process these things and try to figure out these feelings that I'm not use to and in doing so, to…grow up some. I want you in my life but I would like us to be friends right now. I want you to take this opportunity that has been given you and run with it. I want you to get the education that you deserve and when you're done, when you come home, maybe, just maybe we can start over again." 

 

Justin stood up in between Brian's legs and looked down into his eyes. Placing his hands on either side of Brian's face he caressed it with his thumbs. "I still love you Brian. I never stopped. I thought that I could get over you but I couldn't. I have however, learned to live my life again without you, but like you I'd rather have you in it. I don't want to lose you and I don't want to give up what I've got here either. So I'm willing to give it a shot as friends and when I come home, you better believe I'm going to look you up." 

 

Bending down, he gently brushed his lips over Brian's, then he did it again, this time slower. Raising up, just a little, he hovered over Brian's lips and looked deep into his eyes as he licked the taste of whisky, cigarettes, and Brian from his lips. 

 

Brian closed his eyes as he felt his cock react to what Justin was doing. "Justin…I" 

 

Justin laid a finger against Brian's lips. "Shhhhh. I know you said you don't fuck your friends but regardless of what we are, and what we do, we don't fuck and we're not going to fuck. We're going to enjoy the time we have with each other and have wild passionate sex." 

 

Brian moaned as the pressure in his pants got even more uncomfortable. Justin released Brian's face and ran his hands down Brian's chest and before he could say anything kissed him again as he straddled his lap. Brian wrapped his arms tightly around Justin and the kiss that Justin had started became even more heated as the two battled with their tongues. Justin moaned and threw back his head and he began to grind his hard on against Brian as Brian licked down his neck and gasped as Brian nipped his collarbone. 

 

Brian wrapped his hands around Justin's legs and stood up. Justin needing no instruction wrapped his legs around Brian's waist and held on as he was carried to the bedroom. Once there, Brian let go of Justin's legs but held on to his waist as Justin released him and put his feet on the floor. Brian grabbed hold of Justin's shirt and raised it over his head, not stopping until it was gone and he could touch the smooth expanse of Justin's chest. 

 

Justin meanwhile was busy unbuttoning Brian's shirt, teasing his nipples, as they were uncovered. Moving in for a kiss, Justin pushed Brian's shirt off and began on releasing the hard cock within the pants in front of him. As soon as Justin had it freed, he fell to his knees and took it into his mouth. 

 

Brian couldn't hold back the moan as Justin began to suck him off. He had been trying so hard not to touch Justin the whole time he'd been there, but he had to admit that he wanted Justin just as much as Justin wanted him. As he felt his balls begin to tighten, he pulled Justin back up and kissed him as he tried to get control of himself. 

 

Releasing him, he gave Justin a push onto the bed and set to work removing his pants so that he could have a taste, but first he just had to tease him a little bit. He wanted to see him squirm. Moving up his body after pulling down his pants, he totally bypassed the glistening cock that was begging for his attention. Intertwining his fingers with Justin's, he proceeded to lick and nip every available spot on Justin's neck and chest. 

 

Justin began to squirm at Brian's attention. "Brian! God…please!" He raised his hips and rubbed his aching cock against Brian. 

 

"What Justin? What do you want?" Brian whispered as he circled Justin's ear with his tongue. 

 

Justin whimpered. "Fuck me!" 

 

Brian reached over to his pants and grabbed a condom and the little bottle of lube. Warming it in his hand, he slowly began to prepare Justin. As he slid in his first finger, he felt Justin's muscles clamp around it. Sliding in his second finger, he began to work Justin's hole until Justin began to squirm and hump up against Brian pleading for more. With a quick motion, Brian slipped on the condom, removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock. 

 

Both men sighed and stopped, just relishing the feel of being back where they each felt they belonged. Slowly they began to move in a rhythm that built until they both cried out, calling to each other as they came. Brian collapsed on top of Justin, spreading his cum over both their chests. Brian started to roll off but Justin wrapped his arms around him, not ready to let go just yet. Within minutes, both men had fallen into a deep relaxed sleep. 

 

When they awoke, it was to find that morning was upon them and that they had hardly moved. In fact, they were stuck together. As they pulled apart, Justin couldn't help but start to laugh at the look on Brian's face. "Oh gross." Justin looked down at the flaking mess on his and Brian's chests. 

 

Brian looked down at Justin and couldn't help but start to laugh as well. "Come on Sunshine, let's go take a shower. Today is moving day for you." 

 

"Oh Shit! That's right!" Following Brian into the shower they cleaned each other and had their favorite breakfast and were out the door. Justin wanted to go back to the dorm where he was staying to change clothes. After that, they went for a stroll down by the river for a while, stopping here and there to see the sites. At some point they even held hands without seeming to realize it. 

 

When the daily bang startled them at one o'clock, they went to The Garden Café for lunch. There between the potted palms they ate sandwiches and talked more about things that had gone on between them. They talked about things that they had never talked about before and this time neither shut the other one down, nor did they try to avoid any of the issues like they used to do. 

 

Afterwards, they went to get the key and look around Justin's flat before he was to move in to see if there was anything he was going to need. Walking into the flat Justin excitedly showed Brian around. "I got real lucky and was able to get a flat to myself. Most students get their own bedrooms, but three to five of them have to share the bathroom, kitchen, and living areas. Of course it's kind of small but it's all mine." 

 

Brian looked around the small room or boxroom that served as a dining room or living room. Then he walked to the doorway of the bedroom and found it even smaller but with it's own bathroom. "What are you going to do about a kitchen?" 

 

Justin looked around and walked over to a corner of the room. "I'll set up a table with a couple of burners. There won't be any problems with it as it's allowed. The best part though is that it's got great lighting and I'll be able to set up an easel over here and that will cut down on the amount of studio time that I'll need." 

 

Brian nodded. "Well, it's obvious you're going to need quite a bit of furniture. Do you know where you're going to get it?" 

 

Justin smiled and started walking out the door. "Actually I already have a lot of it. Bruce is loaning me several pieces. The only things I'm going to need to buy are a mattress, a hotplate, and a few other small things." 

 

Brian followed Justin out the door and waited while he locked it. Walking down the stairs, Brian was feeling slightly uncomfortable about Bruce. It wasn't that he didn't seem to be a nice guy, but just why was he being so nice to Justin. 

 

Justin didn't really notice how quiet Brian had gotten, as he was so excited about moving into his own place. "Bruce has gotten a friend of his who owns a truck to help move the furniture" 

 

By this time, Brian and Justin had reached Bruce's house. Justin reached over and rang the bell. It wasn't long before a woman opened the door. "Justin! I didn't think you'd be here for another hour." Giving Justin a hug, she ushered him in along with Brian. "Bruce, Justin is here." She called out. 

 

"Brian, Arden. Arden, this is Brian." Justin introduced. 

 

Brian held out his hand and shook Arden's. "Nice to meet you Arden." 

 

"Likewise Brian." Arden smiled and led the way into the house. 

 

Bruce came out of the back of the house. "Justin, Brian, it's good to see you again. I'm assuming that Justin introduced you to my wife?" 

 

Brian smiled as Bruce circled his wife with his arms and kissed her on the cheek causing her to laugh. "Yes he did." 

 

Bruce laughed at his wife and watched as she headed back toward the back of the house. "I'm going to leave you men to move the furniture and go finish up with my garden. Don't let him hurt himself. We have plans for tonight." 

 

Justin and Brian couldn't help but laugh at her parting look and comment. Bruce turned and began to climb the stairs with Justin and Brian following close behind. "I hope you two are strong enough. Some of this is pretty heavy." 

 

With that, Bruce opened a door that led into his attic. Brian had expected to find a room full of dusty old junk. Instead he was led into a room that was clean, neat, and the items were far from being junk. "We try to keep everything neat up here. You never know when a friend might need to borrow something. Justin isn't the first student that Arden and I have befriended. Arden says I collect students like some people collect stray cats." 

 

Bruce started laughing and Brian and Justin joined him. Brian was beginning to feel better about Bruce. He now realized that Bruce was just a do-gooder and genuinely wanted to be a friend and mentor to Justin. 

 

So began the afternoon of moving Justin into his flat. Bruce had just about everything, from a bed frame, couch, table and chairs, to the most important item to Justin, an easel. When the furniture was all in the flat, Bruce left wishing them much luck in getting it all to fit. 

 

Brian looked around the crowded flat and sighed. Just then he heard a rumbling sound and turned to look at Justin. Justin looked up over at Brian and laughed. "I guess I'm a bit hungry." 

 

Brian laughed, "Well, I say we call it a day. We have all of tomorrow to figure this out and get the rest of what you need as well as getting you out of your dorm. Now lets go get something to eat." 

 

Justin looked around and agreed. "Okay, I am hungry. Where do you want to go?" 

 

Brian looked down at his clothes and then at Justin's. "How about we go grab you some more clothes. Then we head back to my hotel, grab a shower, and go find us a steak. I'm starving." 

 

Justin laughed and followed Brian out the door. He couldn't get over the change in Brian. Maybe, just maybe, this time apart was what they needed. Then he sobered. He was going to be here for three years. That was going to be a long time to be apart. Of course, he'd try to go home but there was no guarantee, it was expensive. 

 

Brian noticed Justin suddenly growing quiet and knew just what he was thinking about. "You are going to have the best time here over the next three years. You're going to meet some really interesting people and learn a lot of important things. Before you know it, three years will be gone and you're going to wonder where they went." 

 

Justin nodded, understanding what Brian was saying. Brian was expecting him to live his life while he was here and not wait around for things. "You're right, but that doesn't mean that I can't miss Pittsburgh and everyone there." 

 

They had reached Justin's dorm by this time and they quickly grabbed not one, but two sets of clean clothes. Once that was done, they made their way to the hotel. "You're right, you can miss everyone there, and they'll miss you too. But they all understand that this is important and are behind you 100 percent." 

 

Justin turned to Brian as they entered the elevator. "Does that include you Brian? Will you miss me?" 

 

Brian sighed, "I'm here aren't I? Is there anything that we've talked about since I've been here that couldn't have been said over the phone or in an email?" 

 

Justin smiled, "You missed me! That's why you're here!" 

 

Brian smiled and stepped off the elevator and into his room. "Quit being a twat and come scrub my back." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The rest of the night was all that Justin could have asked for. They went and ate dinner at The Atrium, strolled through the Princes Street Gardens holding hands and when they returned to the hotel, Brian did everything he could to show Justin just how much he had missed him. 

 

The next day, it was the sun coming through the windows that woke them. They were surprised to find that it was almost noon and had wasted the whole morning of what was to be their last day together. They quickly dispensed with their shower and morning hard ons. Dressing they made their way downstairs to Hadrian's for brunch. They sat and enjoyed breakfast while listening to live jazz. 

 

When they were done, the first thing they did was to go and gather everything of Justin's out of his dorm room and carry it back to his flat. Justin explained that the dorm really belonged to one of the other universities and was on loan until the semester started and the student who it was assigned to, arrived to take it. When Brian looked a little confused, he explained about how the college of art didn't have any dorms, but did have flats but it was a first come first serve situation. 

 

With everything cleared out, Justin returned his keys to the dormitory office and they quickly grabbed a cab to take them to the flat as there was no way they could have carried everything. Once there, Justin listened good-naturally as Brian gripped once again about Justin being on the top floor of a building without an elevator. When he had done it yesterday, Bruce had explained that none of the flats had elevators, that only the hotels in the area had them. 

 

After dropping Justin's things off at the flat, they went and bought a mattress, bedding, towels, things for the kitchen, and the much-needed hotplate, which Brian insisted on buying for him as a housewarming presents. They quickly began to set the apartment to rights. While Justin was putting up the last few touches, Brian told him that he was going to go and get some groceries so that they could have dinner there that night. Justin nodded and continued to put his new place to rights and make it his home. 

 

Brian left Justin puttering around his new flat and went to the corner market. There he bought enough food to see Justin through the next couple of weeks. As he made sure that the food would be delivered, he then went back to his hotel and packed. He was leaving tomorrow morning and he wasn't going to miss out on any of the time he had left with Justin. Checking out, he took a cab back to Justin's and walked in to find that the groceries had been delivered and a surprised Justin, putting everything away. 

 

"I can't believe you bought all this food! Why?" Justin asked. 

 

"I guess I just want to make sure that you get a good start in your new place." Brian shrugged setting down his suitcase. 

 

Justin looked at the suitcase and smiled. "So does this mean that you're not going to be staying at the hotel tonight?" 

 

Brian couldn't keep the grin off his face as he walked toward Justin. "I hope you made the bed." With that he picked Justin up and tossed him over his shoulder. 

 

"Brian! What are you doing! I still have groceries to put away!" Justin laughed. 

 

Throwing Justin onto the bed, Brian launched himself at him and landed with a laugh. "Well, we have to christen the bed." 

 

Justin laughed and began to kiss Brian along his jaw line. "I think that is a wonderful idea." 

 

Justin pulled Brian's shirt over his head as soon as he was free; Brian attacked Justin's mouth with a vengeance. He had never before needed Justin like he did at this time. Quickly they undressed each other and with little preparation he slid into Justin's tight ass. Where as last night had been slow and tender, this time was quick and rough, as if they both knew and needed it to be that way. 

 

As they both lay panting, trying to gather their breath, they looked at each other a laughed at how carried away they had been. "Well, I guess we christened it all right." Justin said, leaning up on his elbow to look down at Brian. "Why don't you go start the shower. It's going to be a bit tight but I think we can manage it. I'm going to go finish putting up the groceries." 

 

Justin got out of bed and walked naked into the other room and Brian could see him putting up the groceries. Walking into the bathroom, he turned on the water, than walked back to the bed where he continued to watch Justin. When he bent over to put something in the cabinet, Brian could only groan at the site of Justin's bare ass flashing him a peak of the hole he loved to fuck. 

 

Getting up off the bed he walked quietly up behind Justin and ran his hand down the soft skin of his ass toward his hole. Justin remained perfectly still; content at the feelings Brian's hands were creating. As Brian's finger slipped inside his hole, he moaned and leaned back against him. 

 

"It isn't polite to tease." Brian whispered in his ear as he watched Justin grow hard while he finger fucked his hole. Withdrawing his finger, he pushed Justin from him and turned back toward the bathroom. "The shower is ready and we don't know how much hot water your building has available." 

 

Justin groaned as he watched Brian walk into the bedroom and then the bathroom. Following, he began to make plans for the night. If Brian thought he was teasing before, he didn't know what he was in for. 

 

Stepping into the shower, Justin acted as if he didn't have a raging hard on and began to wash himself clean from their previous activity. He turned and began to wash Brian's back. Sweeping the soap over Brian's ass, he watched the soap gather and handing Brian the soap began to rub the suds over his ass in soft strokes that ended inside his crack, just skimming his hole in a teasing caress. Justin stopped when Brian turned around. He tried to act as if he didn't notice Brian's hard on and took the soap from his hands. Soaping up his hands he began to run them over his own chest, paying extra attention to his nipples and then down to his still hard cock. 

 

Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the sensation of his soaped up hand against his pulsing cock. Leaning against the wall, he totally ignored the fact that Brian was in the shower with him and began to jack himself off. With his second hand, he cupped and fondled his balls. Feeling his balls tighten after a few more tugs, he opened his eyes and saw Brian rubbing himself but watching Justin. Catching his eyes he held them as he sped up his strokes and with a shout shot his load. 

 

Brian watched as Justin gathered himself and waited to see what he had in mind next. He hoped it would be something that would bring him relief. Justin meanwhile, pushed off of the wall, grabbed the soap, cleaned himself once again, rinsed, and with a last look at Brian, stepped out of the shower. 

 

Brian stood there in shock as he watched Justin towel off and leave the room. "What the fuck!" He rinsed the soap from his body, turned off the chilling water, climbed out and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

 

Walking into the bedroom, he was unprepared for when Justin ambushed him. Justin had been waiting by the door and as soon as Brian walked through the door, Justin grabbed Brian by the arm and pulled him off balance and onto the bed. Jumping on top of him, he straddled his lap and pinned his arms to the bed. "Tease, am I? No more then you are. After all, I learned from the best." 

 

Brian knew that he could probably flip Justin but he was curious to see just what he had in mind. Justin began first by licking some of the water that had dripped onto Brian's chest from his hair, off of his face. Then he moved down to his neck and chest, never releasing his hands. He was extra attentive with his nipples. Finally he released Brian's hand but it was only so he could move lower on Brian's body. When he hit that spot above Brian's hip, his body left the mattress and almost knocked Justin off but he was ready for it and managed to keep his place. Justin continued to lick Brian clean of any remaining water droplets as he worked his way down his body and back up, bypassing the one place that Brian desperately wanted him to do. 

 

Justin knew he was driving Brian crazy but that was the plan. Moving back up, he began by capturing Brian's lips as he moved his body so that his cock was rubbing against Brian's, creating waves of pleasure that ran through them both. Breaking off the kiss, Justin whispered in Brian's ear. "Roll over. I'm not done licking you dry yet." 

 

Brian groaned but did as Justin asked as soon as he got off of him. Rolling over he grabbed a pillow and shoved it under his head and waited for Justin to resume. 

 

"Are you comfortable?" Justin whispered in his ear as he leaned against him, rubbing his hard on against Brian's crack. The only answer he received was another groan. 

 

Brian could feel Justin smile against his back as he began his licking once again. "Don't be a twat." He growled. 

 

Justin chuckled and continued to lick Brian's back, stopping to nip at the dimples at the small of his back, causing him to squirm. Justin gave Brian a little slap on one of his butt cheeks. "Be still. You don't want me to bite down to hard do you?" 

 

Brian stilled his body and waited for Justin to continue. As he felt Justin's tongue sooth over the red mark his ass, he fisted his hands under the pillow and turned his head into it. 

 

Justin heard the groan come from deep inside Brian and knew he was drawing Brian near the brink of his patience. Spreading Brian's legs, he settled between them and motioned for Brian to hand him a pillow and to lift his ass up. Brian did so and waited motionlessly for Justin to begin rimming him. When he did, he let out a sigh of contentment. For a few minutes, he remained still, enjoying the feel of Justin's tongue within his ass. Then he started feeling the need for more and began to thrust back against Justin's mouth and rubbing his cock against the pillow. 

 

Brian still wasn't satisfied, finally he growled out, "Justin, fuck me already!" 

 

Justin didn't say a word but Brian heard the wrapper of the condom tear open and almost sighed with relief. When Justin pushed inside of him, he too sighed. Leaning up against Brian's body, he planted a kiss between his shoulder blades. 

 

Brian levered himself up onto his elbows, raising his ass farther in the air so that the angle was more pleasurable for them both. Justin slid back so that he could move deeper into Brian and couldn't get over the sensations he was feeling by fucking Brian. Not wanting the feeling to end, he slowed down his motions as he ran his hands down Brian's back and around to do the same to his chest. As he was bringing his hands down toward his hips he bumped Brian's cock. Brian groaned and tightened around Justin causing him to groan as well. 

 

Justin reached around and wrapped his hand around Brian's cock and tried not to cum when Brian gripped him again. Slowly he began to move his hand in time with his motions. It wasn't long before he began to speed up and within minutes felt Brian's cum cover his hand as his muscles tightened around him, causing him to cum as well. 

 

Justin fell on top of Brian who collapsed under the sudden weight. When Justin began to pull out, Brian reached back and stopped him. "No, not yet." 

 

Justin knew exactly what Brian was feeling. This was to be their last night together for a long time, if ever again. Brian wanted to remember the feeling they were sharing just as much as he did. Finally he had to pull out or it would be too painful. Removing the condom, he went into the bathroom, cleaned himself up and returned to Brian to do the same. Crawling back up into the bed, Brian opened his arms and Justin snuggled into them. 

 

Brian was warm and well fucked; he pulled Justin tighter against him and smiled as he inhaled his scent. Without meaning to, his eyes drifted closed and moments later he was asleep. Justin placed his arm across Brian's chest and decided a short nap would do them both good. 

 

A couple of hours later, rumbling stomachs awoke them. Going into the kitchen, they prepared sandwiches, which they ate quickly before returning to bed. This time the sex was slow and gentle. Wrapped around each other they drifted off to sleep once again. 

 

Later in the night Brian awoke to find Justin once again inside him. As they came, Brian could feel the warm tears hit his back and he fought hard not to give in to them and ask Justin to come home with him. Later in the night, Brian woke Justin by returning the favor. 

 

When the alarm went off hours later, Brian rolled out of bed and took a quick shower, all without waking Justin. Leaving him was going to be hard enough as it was without Justin showing all his emotions as well. Dressing and packing up what little he had unpacked, Brian placed his bags by the door. Turning, he took a package out of his briefcase, walked back into the bedroom and placed it on the pillow he had used beside Justin's head. Bending down, he lightly kissed Justin's lips. "Later" he whispered. 

 

Grabbing his bags, he did the hardest thing he had ever done. He walked away from Justin for what could be the last time. He hoped it wouldn't be, but he knew it was a chance he was going to have to take. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Two hours later, Justin awoke to Brian gone and the package in his place. Opening it, he found a letter and a cell phone. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin, 

 

Emails are good but it's not the same as hearing the voice of the ones you care for. Please use this any time you want and don't worry about the cost. This is a gift Justin, so please take it. Hopefully I will also be included amongst those you call. 

 

Brian 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin couldn't believe that Brian had done this for him. Turning on the phone, he checked out all the bells and whistles that it had to offer and found that Brian had even already programmed everyone's phone numbers into it. Pulling up Brian's cell phone number, he hit instant dial and wondered if he was in the air yet. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian squirmed in his seat and motioned for the stewardess. "Could I get an extra pillow please?" 

 

"Certainly sir." The young woman said with a smile. Returning within seconds, she handed him his pillow. "Is there anything else I can get you before we take off?" 

 

"No, thank you. This is fine." Brian said as the stewardess nodded and moved on to answer her next call. 

 

Brian looked around to see if anyone was watching and slipped the pillow underneath him. Sighing with the extra cushion the pillow gave him, he was finally able to get comfortable. Staring out the window he wondered if Justin was still sleeping when his cell phone went off. Looking at the caller id, he smiled. It was Justin. 

 

"Good morning sleepy head." Brian said by way of answering. 

 

"Why didn't you wake me?" Justin asked, still moved by the phone but upset still by the fact that Brian hadn't woken him. 

 

"I didn't want to wake you. I wanted to remember you just the way you were. Sleeping with your mouth slightly open, with that little snore." Brian said with a laugh. 

 

"I don't snore!" He said indignantly but had to laugh as well. "When does your flight leave?" 

 

Brian looked around, "I'm sitting on the plane as we speak. As a matter of fact, the stewardess is walking toward me and is motioning to my phone. Yep, there it goes, there's the announcement telling me to turn off all electronics." 

 

Justin sighed, "Call me when you get home? Let me know that you're okay?" 

 

Brian heard the sadness in Justin's voice. "I will. Oh, and Justin, let my visit be just between us, okay? The last thing I need is to be getting grief over this from everyone back home without you sharing in it." 

 

Justin laughed. "Okay, I won't say anything." 

 

"Later" Brian said, as the stewardess came to stand over him. 

 

"Later" Justin said and tried not to cry as he heard the phone disconnect. 

 

Brian had heard Justin and as the stewardess moved to go take her seat, felt tears build in his eye. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back in his seat, tried to find a comfortable position and waited for the plane to leave.


	8. Glitter and Shine

Classes started and Justin quickly fell into a routine. Between his classes, studio time, and working on 'Rage' he kept himself very busy, but that was the way he wanted it. It had been two months since Brian had gone home and it helped him keep his mind off of how much he missed him. 

 

Justin had continued to write everyone, and had kept his word. He hadn't told anyone about Brian coming to see him, but it was hard. He had wanted to scream it to everyone that Brian Kinney loved him but he knew that Brian would deny it to everyone unless he was there to take some of the harassments. 

 

The first month that they had been separated, they had emailed each other almost everyday and called each other once a week. Then as Brian got hit with three big ad campaigns at once and Justin's classes got more demanding, the emails had turned into short little notes every three or four days and there had only been two calls. The phone calls themselves had been short as either one or the other had started to fall asleep during them. But they were always the same. How are you? What have you been up too? Fucked any good-looking guys lately? 

 

Justin had always replied no and Brian would get on to him for not taking the opportunity that had been given him to expand his knowledge of culture. Justin never asked Brian the question though because he knew that he had. After all, he was Brian Kinney. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin looked up as the alarm went off on his clock. Looking at the painting he was working on, he sighed and began to put his supplies away. Bruce and Arden were expecting him for dinner in an hour and he needed a shower. 

 

Justin smiled as he thought of Bruce and Arden. While Bruce was officially his mentor, he and Arden were also his best friends and they were worried about him. He knew that they felt he needed to get out and about more. That's how their weekly dinners had started but he didn't mind. 

 

Hopping into the shower, Justin began to scrub the paint from his face, arms and hands. After which he quickly washed the rest of his body clean. Stepping out of the shower, he dried off, and got dressed. Looking at the clock, he saw that he had exactly 15 minutes to get here. Grabbing his keys, he opened the door and stopped in surprise. 

 

Standing in front of his door with his hand raised to knock was a man he thought he'd never see again. "Vassili? Vassili!" 

 

Justin launched himself at the smiling young man, who caught him and spun him around laughing happily. "So I guess this means you are happy to see me?" 

 

Vassili sat Justin back on his feet but kept his arms wrapped around him. Justin looked up into Vassili's face smiling. "Of course I am! I just never expected to find you on the other side of my door! What are you doing here? Where are you staying and for how long?" 

 

Vassili silenced Justin with a kiss that sent bolts of pleasure through both of them. Breaking off the kiss, Vassili took a shaky breath and smiled. "I'll answer all your questions at dinner." 

 

"Dinner! Shit! I've already got dinner plans and I'm supposed to be there in like 5 minutes." Justin explained. 

 

Seeing the disappointment in Vassili's eyes he made a quick decision. "Instead, why don't you tell me as we make our way over to Bruce and Arden's. They would love to meet you and then we'll be able to leave almost right after dinner and catch up." 

 

Vassili smiled and stepped out of the way with a bow. "After you." 

 

Justin laughed, turned, locked the door and led the way down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, they both stopped and looked up at the flights, sharing a memory of previous flight and the fun it took to climb before looking back at each other with grins. Justin reached over and grabbed Vassili's hand and started walking. 

 

"Justin?" Vassili asked, still a little unsure of what would happen since he showed up unexpectedly. "Are you sure your friends won't mind an unexpected guest?" 

 

Justin's smile faded just a bit. "Yeah, they'll be very glad. They're worried about me and have even tried to set me up on a couple of dates lately. So they'll be glad to see me walk in with you." 

 

Vassili studied Justin carefully. "Why have they been worried about you?" 

 

Justin quickly told Vassili about Brian's visit and Vassili felt his heart sink. It was even more obvious that Justin was still very much in love with Brian. The more he listened, the more he knew that even though Brian hadn't come right out and said that he loved Justin, from what Justin was telling him, Brian loved him as well but wasn't going to let him give up this chance. 

 

Justin stopped and Vassili looked at him in confusion. "You disappeared on me there for a moment. If you don't want to meet Bruce and Arden, you don't have to." 

 

Vassili smiled, "No, I do want to meet them. I was just taking in everything you've told me. It sounds like you had a good visit with Brian. Does this mean you're back together?" 

 

Justin moved to stand directly in front of Vassili. "No, it means that we both admit we care for each other and want the other in our lives, but it won't be anything more until I finish here and go home. Then, who knows? We'll either keep the relationship the way it is or we'll give it another try. Either way, we'll always be there for each other." 

 

Vassili nodded his understanding and decided to lighten the mood. "So, in other words…" 

 

Vassili reached out quickly and pulled Justin up tight against him. "I can have my way with you and not have to worry about getting caught?" He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. 

 

Justin laughed, wrapped his arms around Vassili's neck and rubbed his body against Vassili's. "Only if I get to have my way with you too." 

 

Pulling Justin tighter against him, he bent his head and right before he kissed him, said. "I sincerely hope so." 

 

The kiss was gentle at first, timid with their uncertainty but soon the passion they felt for each other took over. Suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat reminded them of where they were. "You know Justin, if you didn't want to dine with us, all you had to do was call. We would have understood." Arden laughed while Bruce stood there smiling at them. 

 

Justin blushed but didn't release Vassili from his clasp. "And miss giving you a show? Not on your life!" He laughed. Keeping one arm around Vassili, he walked up the sidewalk and then the stairs until he came to a stop in front of the laughing couple. "Bruce, Arden, I'd like you to meet Vassili Grinkov. Vassili, this is Bruce and Arden Kirkland. Bruce is the one that I told you about who help get me the scholarship here." 

 

Vassili smiled and shook their hands. "Yes, Justin told me all about how you were helping him get in to the school." 

 

Bruce recalled Vassili's name and couldn't help but keep smiling. "Yes and Justin told us all about you too Vassili." 

 

Vassili tried not to blush and laughed. "I hope not everything." 

 

Justin shoved himself against Vassili and laughed. "Of course not everything, just enough to cause them to blush." 

 

Arden turned and opened the door. "Come in, come in. Supper is ready and I don't want it to dry out. We can continue this at the table." 

 

Bruce took the door from his wife and allowed her to lead their guest into the house. Watching Justin sit across from Vassili, he was relieved to see Justin smiling again like he had been before Brian had come. Brian had kept his word and not tried to talk Justin into going home, in fact he had encouraged him to stay. Bruce and Arden smiled at each other as the table filled with chatter and the passing of the food. They both felt that Vassili's visit couldn't have come at a more apropos time. 

 

After they finished eating, Justin helped Arden clear the table before they all went into the study. There over coffee and drinks, they talked. "So how long are you here?" Justin asked. 

 

Vassili smiled happily at Justin. "I'm here for the next three weeks. I got invited to come and lecture on the art of refurbishing, as well as the chance to teach by demonstrating on a couple of painting that need it here at the college." 

 

"Where do they have you staying?" Bruce asked. 

 

"They've put me in one of the guest quarters." Vassili answered. 

 

Bruce groaned, "I'm so sorry. They really aren't guest quarters but rooms set aside for elderly professors." 

 

Vassili smiled, "Believe me. There is nothing to be sorry about. It's almost the size of my apartment in St. Petersburg and there are three of us living there." 

 

Justin nodded. "I remember but there is no sense in you staying there. You can stay with me while you're here." 

 

Vassili studied Justin's face intently. "Are you sure? I don't want to get in your way." 

 

Justin smiled, leaned in and kissed Vassili gently. "You won't be in the way. You'll be right where I want you to be." 

 

"All right." Vassili said, looking at the other couple before looking back at Justin with a smile. "We can stop by the room they gave me on the way back to your place. I was in such a hurry to locate you this afternoon that I haven't even opened my suitcase." 

 

They stayed a little while longer but it soon became apparent to Bruce and Arden that they wanted to leave. "Justin, I'm sure you want to get Vassili settled in, so why don't you two go ahead. It won't hurt our feelings if you leave." Arden smiled with understanding. 

 

Justin rose and holding Vassili's hand started toward the door. "You sure you don't mind?" 

 

Bruce laughed at their hurried retreat for the door. "Of course not. Go on. Go get settled and caught up." 

 

Justin kissed Arden on the cheek before rushing out the front door, barely giving Vassili time to thank his hosts for dinner. "Thanks Bruce! Thanks Arden!" 

 

Vassili stopped and held out his hand to Bruce, bringing Justin to a stop. "Thank you for dinner and it was very nice meeting you." 

 

"It was nice to meet you too, Vassili!" Arden shouted after the fleeing pair. 

 

Bruce wrapped his arm around Arden's should. "I think Vassili is just what our Justin needed." 

 

Arden hugged Bruce and smiled. "I think you're right. Now, come help me do the dishes." 

 

Bruce laughed and followed his wife back into the house. "Yes Dear." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Vassili laughed as he trotted after Justin. "Justin, slow down. I'm not going anywhere." 

 

Justin turned and grabbed Vassili and pulled him up against him. "I know but we've got a lot of catching up to do and only three weeks to do it in." 

 

With that Justin pulled Vassili's head down and kissed him, making sure that he could feel his aching hard on as he did so. Vassili groaned and pulled Justin even harder against his body and rubbed his hard on against Justin in return. 

 

Justin broke off the kiss and breathlessly said, "I've been hard since dinner time. If we don't get back to my place soon, I think I'll explode." 

 

Vassili felt himself grow even harder at Justin's words and kissed Justin again. Justin reached under Vassili's shirt and ran his hands over his chest, scrapping his nails across his nipples. Vassili pulled back with a gasp. "If you keep that up, I might just join you." 

 

Justin looked around, "How close is your room?" 

 

Vassili looked around. "Not close enough." 

 

Justin turned around grabbed Vassili's hand and led him toward some buildings. "Come on, I know of a place near by." 

 

Justin led him between the buildings where it was fairly dark but a couple of benches were well placed, hidden by the surrounding shrubbery. "I found these one day when I was looking for a nice quiet place to sit and think without anyone bothering me. I'm not even sure if anyone knows that they're here." 

 

Justin began to take off his jacket and Vassili quickly removed his as well. Taking the jackets, Justin arranged the jackets on the cold stone bench and then sat Vassili down on them. Giving him a push so that he laid back on the bench, Justin reached for the zipper of Vassili's pants and pulled them off so that his legs fell to either side of the bench. Justin quickly removed his own pants but before dropping them, removed the condom and lube from his pocket. Straddling Vassili, Justin tore open the condom and rolled it down Vassili's cock. Popping open the lube, Justin squirted a liberal amount into his hand and began to rub it over Vassili's aching cock. After a few up and down motions, Vassili was pushing up into Justin's hand. 

 

Justin using the lube that was left on his hand, he reached behind him and began to prepare himself as he bent down and captured Vassili's lips in a heated kiss. With his free hand, he unbuttoned Vassili's shirt so he could feel his chest. Vassili pushed Justin's shirt up, breaking the kiss only long enough to take Justin's shirt off so they could both enjoy the feel of skin on skin. When Justin felt he was ready, he broke off the kiss and stared intently into his eyes and he began to lower himself slowly onto Vassili's hard-on. When he was fully impaled, he sat there and let his body enjoy the sensation of being filled. 

 

Vassili looked up and watched Justin, his eyes closed, head back, and a smile on his face. Justin squeezed his muscles around Vassili and he couldn't stop the gasp that escaped from him or stop his body from bucking up against Justin's. "Justin…" 

 

Justin opened his eyes and looked down at Vassili, began a slow rhythm and leaned forward, kissing Vassili slowly, matching the movements of his tongue with that of his body. With the way his body was bent, the friction on his cock made Justin moan into the kiss. He really did feel as if he was going to explode. Sitting back up, he used the leverage of having his feet on the ground to help him pick up the pace. 

 

Vassili braced his feet on the ground, placed his hands on Justin's hips and met Justin with each thrust, making each one harder and faster. Justin cried out as Vassili hit his prostate over and over again. Vassili felt Justin's legs start to shake and knew that he was as close as he was to losing it. A couple of more thrust and Vassili felt Justin's cum splatter over his chest. With the squeezing of his muscles, Vassili cried out and came hard. 

 

Justin fell forward onto Vassili and together they laid there trying to catch their breath. Justin's cum was cold on their chests when he sat back up. With a little shiver, Justin got off of Vassili, allowing him to slide out in the process. Justin smiled and reached for his shirt and pants. "I told you I couldn't wait." 

 

Vassili laughed as well as he removed the condom and sat up. "I'm definitely not complaining." Pulling back on his pants and buttoning his shirt he handed Justin his jacket. 

 

Justin laughed and took his jacket from Vassili. "Lets hurry up and get your luggage. We can both us a shower and to be honest…" Justin walked out of the shadows and back toward the sidewalk. Looking over his shoulder at Vassili, his grin got bigger. "I'm not through with you yet." 

 

Vassili finished buttoning up his shirt and slid back on his jacket and moved to join Justin, laughing. "Good!" Putting his arm around Justin's shoulder he continued. "Because I'm not done with you yet either." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The next three weeks were full of studies and fun. Vassili was leaving in the next day and so tonight they had stayed home and had a romantic candlelight dinner. As the candles burned low and the music played quietly in the background, they danced slowly. At first they were content to hold each other as they swayed to the music. 

 

After several songs, they kissed, gently, tenderly, knowing that this was it for a while. Moving toward the bed, they continued the slow kissing as they gently removed each other's clothes, exploring the bodies that they had come to know so well. They licked, kissed, sucked and stroked each other until they were both panting, hard, and in need for more. 

 

Justin pushed Vassili over and began to kiss and lick his way down Vassili's body until he reached his goal. Gently he began to lick and nip at the hole until Vassili began to push back for more of Justin's tongue. Justin reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom and lube. Warming a liberal amount in his hand he began prepare Vassili, continuing to make him squirm with the need to be filled. 

 

Rolling the condom onto his cock, Justin pushed slowly into Vassili until he was all the way in. Enjoying the feel of being surrounded by the tight warmth, Justin leaned against Vassili's back and sighed, just sitting there within him. For a little while this was fine but then the urge to move grew to strong to ignore. At first Justin started with a slow pace, enjoying the pleasure he was feeling, but even that didn't last long. Vassili began to moan with the need for more and Justin picked up the pace, while he reached around and wrapped his hand around his weeping cock and began to match his movements to that of his cock sliding in and out of Vassili. Soon their movements became faster and before long Vassili came with a cry, covering Justin's hand with cum. A couple of more thrust and Justin joined him both falling flat, Justin on top of Vassili as they tried to get their breath back under control. 

 

Justin finally rolled off of Vassili and removed the condom before turning to back to face his lover. Lying face to face they talked. Talked about their dreams and the future, with and without the other. They made love several more time during the night and when the alarm woke them; they knew that their time was drawing to a close. 

 

Justin helped Vassili pack and together they walked down the stairs to the waiting cab that would take them to the airport. On the way, they continued to talk about their plans. They decided to keep in touch and even decided to make plans to spend some of the summer together. Vassili wished that Justin could love him and he knew that he did love him, just not the way he wanted but he was content to take what Justin had to offer. 

 

Justin had also come to the realization that Vassili loved him as more then a friend but had chosen to ignore it, wanting to keep him as a friend. They both knew that the friendship they had forged was strong and they both hoped it would last no matter what. 

 

Holding hands they walked through the airport as far as Justin was allowed to go. Giving Justin a long tight hug and a deep kiss, he walked past the barriers and toward his plane home. 

 

Justin watched as long as he could and then turned away. As he walked out of the airport and into the sunshine, he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from him and he smiled.


	9. Glitter and Shine

Justin walked into his flat and sat his books and portfolio down. Grabbing a drink, he turned on his computer. He was expecting an email from Michael on the last batch of pictures he had sent for the latest edition of Rage. Going into the bedroom, he removed his shoes and returned to the computer. He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. Not only was the expected letter from Michael there along with other emails from his friends and family, but there was also one from Brian and one from Vassili. 

 

Saving those two for last, he read and responded back to the others first. Finally he opened the one from Brian. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

From: Bkinney@earthlink.net 

 

Hey Sunshine, 

 

How's it going? Fucked any good-looking guys lately? I landed that account I told you about and got an extra windfall. They were so impressed with the ad campaign that they sent a couple of their cronies my way. Of course I made sure that they all signed the same type of contract that Browns Athletics did. At this rate, Vance will have to make me a full partner or risk me leaving, starting my own company, and taking my accounts with me. Of course this is cutting into my club time. I've only been making it to Babylon and Woody's about four times this week. Speaking of which, Sap has gotten some new dancers and you should see them. 

 

Rage is doing really well over here. You should be getting a check from Mikey soon for the last two issues. I told him he better get his butt in gear and get you your money. You should have seen his face. I then pointed out that just because you had a full scholarship, it didn't give you money to live on. 

 

Gus misses you. I try and go over there once a week and spend time with him. The first thing he does every time is show me the latest book, drawing, or gift that you've sent him. He's always asking about you. Should I be jealous? I've answered as much of his questions as I could. Unfortunately Lindsey heard me and began to question me about how I knew so much. I finally told her that we had been emailing each other. She just smiled that smile I hate and nodded her head as if she knew something that I hadn't told her. 

 

Well, I gotta go. 

 

Brian 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin saved the letter and opened Vassili's. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

From: VasG@sovietworld.net 

 

Hi Justin, 

 

Obviously I made it back all right. You wouldn't believe the mess that greeted me when I got back. Several paintings were delivered for me while I was away and then to top it all, the day before I got back, there was a fire in one of the wings of the museum. None of the paintings were burned, but several have water and heat damage. I'm going to be swamped for months trying to clean all this up. I hope things have been better for you. 

 

I miss you 

Vassili 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin contemplated the two letters. He knew that Vassili loved him but he also knew that Vassili knew he loved Brian. Reading both letters again, he was suddenly hit by their similarities. 

 

Both men loved him, yet both men were making no claims, because they both were giving him this time to pursue this chance to be on his own, to make his own decisions, to become the man he wanted to be, while remaining in his life on the sidelines, always there to help if needed. 

 

The shock of this realization hit him and he had to sit back and take a couple of deep breaths as he felt the tears fill his eyes. Calming down, a smile spread across his face as he realized what he had to do. 

 

His letter to Vassili was easy. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: VasG@sovietworld.net 

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

 

Hi Vassili, 

 

That is terrible about the fire. You're so lucky that none of the paintings were lost. Are you going to be able to save the ones that were damaged? I'm glad you got home safely. Things have been about the same since you left. Going to classes, dinners at Bruce and Arden's, the usual stuff. Well, I need to go work on a project. 

 

Can't wait for our summer trip. 

Justin 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Next, Justin reread Brian's letter again then started his reply. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

To: Bkinney@earthlink.net 

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com 

 

Hi Brian, 

 

I knew you could do it! Congratulations! You deserve to be a full partner. That's what he should have made you in the first place. Just don't stretch yourself too thin and end up making yourself sick. I think you can survive missing a night or two at the clubs. 

 

Thanks or talking to Michael about my part of the proceeds. Every little bit will help considering it's more expensive to live here then in the states. Especially since it's getting colder here and I'm going to need to get some more clothes. 

 

Tell Gus hi for me and give him a big hug and a kiss for me too. I'm glad he still remembers me but for how long? I'm going to be gone a long time. 

 

My classes are going really well. Several of my teachers have suggested I take pottery classes to help my hand. All that kneading and stuff. I went and checked it out and found that while my hand did tire and hurt a little bit afterward it was also pretty relaxing. 

 

This has actually turned out to be a good thing though as they've announced that we all have to have no less then three items in the winter art show and they all have to be from three different art forms. So my drawing and painting is one, graphics would be the second and then pottery the third. I even have something already in mind. Can you guess what it is? My hands know it by memory. 

 

Now to answer your first question. Yes I have! His name is Vassili and I met him in St. Petersburg. He is a restorationist and got invited to come here for three weeks. We had a blast and the sex was hot. You would have liked him. Hell! You would have liked to have fucked him. It's been quiet since he went home though. Well, I better get going. I've got a project due in a couple of days that I need to work on. 

 

I miss you! 

Justin 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin hit send before he lost his nerve and erased it all and started over, leaving out Vassili. Closing down the computer he went over to his easel and looked at the drawing he was working on. It was a still life and was due in two days. Closing his eyes, he smiled slightly and picked up his pencil, and continued his drawing of the bedroom at the loft; bed messed up but empty, clothes thrown everywhere. When he was done, he was going to cover it with a blue wash as if the lights were on. Before long he was deeply intranced in his work, the emails forgotten. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian walked into the loft, dropped his briefcase by the desk, turned on his computer and went to go take a shower. It had been a stressful day full of meetings, and a hot shower, dinner and a trip to Babylon sounded like a good way to relax. 

 

Stepping out of the shower, Brian dried off, slipped into his favorite black jeans and stood looking over his shirts as he tried to decide what to eat. Taking out his sleeveless black shirt, he smiled as he remembered how much Justin liked it. Of course one of the reasons he liked it so much was because of the snaps instead of buttons that made it so quick and easy to remove. 

 

Putting on his shirt, he reached for the phone to order some Thai and walked toward his computer. Sitting down he quickly got rid of the junk, scanned some of the others and smiled when he finally came upon Justin's. Opening it, he read it still smiling. If anything, his smile got bigger over his excitement and concern about his job and him. Then his smile turned a little sad at Justin's concerns that Gus would forget him and he decided that he was going to have to call Justin sometime when he was with Gus so they could talk to each other. 

 

When he got to the part about the pottery, he just knew Justin was talking about his dick. He couldn't help but laugh about this and knew he was going to have to talk to him about that. His laughter quickly faded though when a surge of jealousy and pain that raced through him when he read about Justin and Vassili. Deep inside, he knew that he had no right to feel this way. He and Justin weren't together and it wasn't as if he hadn't asked. He also knew that Justin knew that he was still tricking. Heck, even though he hadn't come right out and told him, he had hinted at it. 

 

Just then the buzzer went off and Brian went to let in the delivery boy with his supper. Walking back over to the computer, he sat eating his food as he contemplated Justin's letter. Looking over at the phone, he sat his food down and began to dial. 

 

He smiled when a sleep filled voice answered. "Hey Sunshine." 

 

"Brian?" Justin asked, sitting up and looking over at his clock. 

 

Brian looked at Justin's email and the name Vassili glared at him. "You were expecting someone else?" 

 

Justin felt a thrill run through him at the hint of jealousy Brian hadn't been able to keep out of his voice. "No, I wasn't expecting anyone else. It's just been awhile since we talked. We've both been so busy." 

 

Brian took a deep breath, picked back up his food and forced himself to relax. "So, what's this about making your own dildo of my dick? You sure you can get the proportions right?" 

 

Justin laughed, leave it to Brian to jump on that first out of his letter. "I think so but you could always take some pictures of it and send them to me." 

 

Brian grinned, "Pictures huh." 

 

Justin smiled and bit his lip as his cock began to harden at the thought of Brian posing for those pictures. "Yeah, of course I'd need them from all angles." Justin said, his voice growing husky. 

 

Brian heard the change in Justin's voice and felt himself begin to grow hard. Sitting down his food, he took the phone and placed it in his lap so that Justin would hear the pop of the button and the parting of his sipper as he released his hard-on. Bring the phone back up to his ear, he heard Justin's breath catch and grow slightly faster. 

 

Stroking himself slowly, Brian asked, "What kind of angles, Justin. How would you like to see my dick. What kind of poses." 

 

Justin began to stroke his cock as he thought about the pictures and knew that Brian was doing the same. "Well, I'd need one from both sides and the top and bottom. Of course you'd have to be hard. That way I can capture every ridge and vein. Especially the big one along the bottom that you that you like me to lick that leads straight to that wonderful head. 

 

Brian groaned as he imagined Justin doing just that, right before he'd take him totally in his mouth. "I don't think that would be a problem. If I do this though, will I get some photos of that ass of yours? I especially want to see that tight little pucker of yours winking and glistening as if I'd just given you a rim job." 

 

Justin began to stroke faster and said in an almost breathless voice. "Sure as long as I get some shots of your balls and the tip of your cock with your pre-cum bubbling out of the tip as if it was just waiting for me to taste it." 

 

Brian sped up his strokes as he continued to imagine Justin blowing him. "What else do you want?" He all but groaned out. 

 

Justin felt himself getting close. "I want…I want…Ah! Fuck the pictures! I want to feel your dick inside me right now. I want to…uhm…" 

 

The sound of Justin reaching for his release as he told Brian what he wanted was pushing Brian closer. "Cum for me Justin, let me hear you cry out. I can see you now bucking into your hand as you reach for it. I can see…groan…I can see your dick swelling and your cum shooting out all over your chest, just begging for me to lick it clean." 

 

Justin listened to Brian and knew that he was doing exactly what Brian was describing. "Brian…I…Oh God!" 

 

Brian knew and saw Justin cumming in his mind and he thought about Justin's tight hole squeezing him, begging for his release as well. 

 

Before Justin was finished, Brian had joined him. Together they tried to catch their breath so they could talk again. Brian looked around his desk and grabbed the napkins that had come with his take-out. Cleaning himself up, he heard russelling over the phone and knew that Justin was doing the same. Closing his pants, he glanced over at the letter again and hit delete before closing down his computer. Going over to his stash, he pulled out a joint and lit it. Inhaling deeply, he let the rest of his tension flow from hi body. When Justin had settled back down, Brian stretched out on the bed and began to talk to him about what was going on. 

 

After about a half hour, Brian finally asked about Vassili. Justin described him and told Brian about how they had met. At first he felt the jealousy flow through him, but as Justin talked about him, he knew that Justin didn't love him, that he liked him as a friend, thought he was hot, and enjoyed having sex with him but that was it. He could tell that Justin was nervous about telling him all this, so he did what he did best, kept his questions and replies sexual and interested. 

 

After Justin was finished talking about Vassili, he asked Brian about his recent conquests. Brian knew that it hurt Justin to hear about him with other men. "Justin, do you really want to know?" 

 

Justin paused thinking before he answered. "Yeah, I think I do. I mean, I know it's going to hurt some but I know you. They don't mean anything to you and besides, I know that we're not together and you want us to become more like friends until I get home. I think that this might help in that. After all, isn't that one of the things friends talk about?" 

 

Brian proceeded to tell Justin about the last couple of tricks but no more then that. After all there was hurting someone and being down right cruel. 

 

When they finally said goodnight, both men felt pretty good. Justin snuggled back down under his blankets and was soon fast asleep with a smile on his face despite the fact that he was going to have to get up in a couple of hours. Brian looked at the clock, stood, removed his clothes, and crawled into bed. He still had time to hit Babylon but he was relaxed and no longer felt the need to go. Within minutes he too was asleep. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The Winter Festival came and went and Justin was pleased with his projects. He was still keeping in touch with everyone back in Pittsburgh and Brian had even surprised him a couple of times by calling him while he was with Gus. Justin was also keeping in contact with Vassili and they had finalized their plans for the summer. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Christmas came and as much as Bruce and Arden tried, it was still difficult for Justin. He missed his family and his friends terribly. He even missed the diner with it's noise and loud decorations. To keep himself from getting to depressed over it, he buried himself in his work and projects. He had made a few friends and that had helped some and he had even gone on a few dates but he still felt lonely. 

 

Finally winter was over and spring arrived. The Beltane festival and spring art shows were scheduled and everywhere you looked around campus were easels and sketch pads among the people covering the lawns and gardens. In one of his emails to Brian, he described it as if the world suddenly woke up. 

 

The night of the Beltane festival arrived and Justin went to Bruce and Arden's house to go with them to Carlton Hill to watch the procession and join in the festivities. Walking into the living room he sighed to find a nice looking young man waiting there. He knew that they meant well but he wished that Bruce and Arden would quit setting him up. 

 

"Justin, have you met Quinn? He's just started here this semester." 

 

Justin shook his head. "No, I haven't." 

 

Bruce placed an arm around Arden's shoulders. "Justin Taylor, meet Quinn Ferguson. Quinn, Justin." 

 

The two men shook hands and Justin couldn't keep his eyes from widening at the sudden tightening of his stomach muscles. Bruce watched and looked at Arden who was smiling over the introduction. "Well, lets go. I hope you don't mind Quinn joining us, and I shouldn't be surprised that you two haven't met since you're in different semesters." 

 

Arden laughed as they walked toward Carlton Hill. "What he also hasn't told you is that he's another lost lamb that he found one day and suggested he apply here." 

 

Justin looked at Quinn and saw the color stain his cheeks as he ducked his head. He also realized that they hadn't been setting him up with Quinn but were just trying to make him feel welcomed, as they had done for him by including him in things. "Don't worry," He leaned over and loudly whispered, "I'm one of those lost lambs too." 

 

Quinn looked up and Justin was mesmerized by how green his eyes were. Justin smiled and received a big smile in return. Looking over at Bruce and Arden he asked, "So just what is the festival like? I mean, I know a little about Beltane but not much." 

 

Just about that time drums began to beat and the procession began. Quinn watched Justin watch the procession and leaned over and began to tell him about it. "The procession is led by the May Queen and the gentleman beside her is the Green Man, her consort. Those four women are her Handmaidens and all those other women are her White Women Warriors who have to protect her from evil and to make sure that the progression of the seasons is done right and proper. Those three there are the Blue spirit guides. 

 

Justin let the soft burr of Quinn's accent roll through him as he watched what was going on around him. Quinn continued. "After the May Queen reveals herself and crowns the Green Man on the Acropolis, the processional drummers will begin again, and they will move off counter-clockwise around the hill, passing under the fire arch symbolizing the entrance into the magical realms. They will then pass through sites representing the four elements which are populated by nymphs, goblins, sylphs and sprites." 

 

As everyone began to move so they could see each area of the procession, Bruce and Arden separated from Justin and Quinn, both smiling at each other at the way Justin seemed engrossed by Quinn's narration. 

 

Justin and Quinn didn't even notice as Quinn went on. "At each point, the inhabitants purify a space for the May Queen and Green Man to enter and provide a symbolic dance and music for their blessing. After the procession has passed through each site, the performers join on at the back until the collective entourage is almost a hundred strong. 

 

When the circuit of the hill is almost complete, the court is ambushed by the Red Men and their Beastie Drummers who are spirits from the underworld. A standoff happens between them and the White Warriors as the Red Men attempt to distract the court from its task with lewd behavior and seductive rhythms. The Warriors focus proves too strong to be broken however and the Blue Men break up the confrontation, allowing the procession to move toward the hollow at the center of the hill." 

 

Justin watched everything happen just the way Quinn described it and knew that he was going to have to draw some of this when he got back to his flat. As Quinn continued, he felt Justin lean toward him to hear him better and he leaned as well until they were touching. Looking back at the procession, he continued, his heart beating as hard as the drums were from the closeness of the blond man. 

 

"Within a circle made by the performers, the Green Man is ritually killed by the Handmaidens and stripped of his winter ivy. The May Queen then brings him back to life in his Spring guise, and after dancing wildly, he is married to her and summer can officially begin. They will then go to the bonfire and light it from the Need Fire, going around it three times clockwise. With their duty done, the court will retire to the Bower to be entertained by the elements." 

 

Justin and Quinn watched as the fire point crew and the Red Men form a second fire kindled from the first in a mad dance. "Come on." Quinn whispered grabbing Justin's hand and walking with him between the fires. "Now we are purified." He couldn't help but laugh. 

 

As everyone gather on the other side of the fires they waited for the last performance to begin. "Now the Red Men will approach the bower and successfully seduce the White Women into dance. Once that is done, the show is over but the music and dancing and all that goes with Beltane will continue until dawn." 

 

Justin watched as the players spread out among the audience and began placing wreaths and garlands of greens and flowers among them. One young lady came up and placed a wreath of flowers and greens on Justin's head and a wreath of greens on Quinn's before moving on. 

 

"Come on! Let's dance!" Quinn hollered, pulling Justin behind him to where everyone was dancing wildly about. 

 

Justin couldn't help but laugh at his antics and joined in. After about fifteen minutes of heavy dancing, both decided to strip off their shirts like so many of the other were doing and find something to drink. Finding a spot a little away from the roaring fires, they settled on the grass. 

 

"Tomorrow they will have the Maypole dances. You do know what Beltane is don't you? I mean not the procession but what most people think it is?" Quinn asked. 

 

Justin took a drink of his beer and nodded before answering. "Yes, it's a fertility holiday. Fertility for the land, the livestock, and the people." 

 

Quinn nodded, "Yes but is also a wedding and a return of vitality, of passion. It is the one night of the year that married people can remove their wedding bands and all that they imply without suffering any consequences. It's a time for wild and passionate sex." 

 

Justin looked around and noticed that while there were a lot of people dancing and some just sitting around watching and talking, there were also quite a few people making out. Looking more closely, he noticed people leaving and others arriving, all with the aura of sex about them. Turning to Quinn, he started to say something but couldn't as Quinn kissed him. Justin couldn't believe the instant hardening of his cock from such a simple kiss. 

 

As Quinn backed up, Justin looked at him and Quinn was suddenly afraid that maybe he had overstepped himself. "Come on." He said, draining the last of his beer and standing, holding out his hand to Justin. "Let's dance some more." 

 

Justin looked up at Quinn and setting his cup aside, took his hand. Together they walked back to the bonfires and joined in with the other dancers. Justin watched Quinn as he got into the drumming music and grew harder at the sight he was given. 

 

Quinn danced with the fire to his back, the fire turning his auburn hair to flames, his head was slightly thrown back and his eyes were closed. His bare chest gleamed in the firelight and Justin felt the need to draw him but at the same time, he wanted to kiss him. Quinn opened his eyes and Justin was startled by their green intensity. 

 

Justin stopped dancing without breaking eye contact and walked up to Quinn who had also stopped, and kissed him. Where Quinn's earlier kiss was gentle and tentative, Justin's was consuming like the fire that burned beside them. 

 

Quinn knew he could stop the kiss if he wanted to but with Justin's hands on either side of his face he felt impossible to do so, not that he wanted to in the first place. Instead he felt almost trapped and consumed. He couldn't stop the groan that escaped him. Holding onto the waist of Justin's pants, he returned the kiss hungrily and rubbed his cloth covered hard on against Justin's. 

 

When they finally broke the kiss, both were panting with need. "Come on." Justin said, grabbing Quinn's hand has he all but ran to where their shirts laid on the ground, stopping only long enough to scoop them up and continued to lead Quinn away from the festival. 

 

Quinn never asked where they were going and continued to be quiet the whole way up the stairs to Justin's flat. Once inside, Justin threw their shirts to a nearby chair, turned and kissed Quinn again as he began to undo his pants. Quinn quickly removed his shoes and Justin pushed his pants down. 

 

Justin stepped back and looked at Quinn's naked form. "One of these days I want to draw you but for now, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you the rest of the night and into the morning." 

 

Quinn's cock jumped at Justin's words and he closed his eyes to fight the feeling that he was about to cum, just from Justin looking at him. When he opened his eyes, it was to find that Justin had removed the rest of his clothes and was standing there, waiting for Quinn. 

 

Once Justin saw Quinn's eyes open, he reached out a hand, wrapped it around his neck and pulled Quinn in for another deep probing kiss that made Quinn groan again with the need that was threatening to up do him at any moment of Justin didn't do something. 

 

Justin turned them around so that he was facing the bedroom and began to walk them toward the bed. Once they reached the bed, Justin broke off the kiss again and began to stroke his hands down Quinn's chest before he pushed him down on the bed. Quinn grabbed Justin's waist and held him still as he bent down and took Justin's cock into his mouth. Justin laid his head back as he enjoyed the feeling of his cock in Quinn's hot wet mouth. He continued to let Quinn suck his cock until he felt the need to fuck his face, then he stopped him. 

 

Quinn looked up in confusion as to why Justin had stopped him but the answer was there on his face. Without a word Quinn scooted back on the bed as Justin followed him. Justin hovered above Quinn for a minute before he lowered himself down for another kiss. While they kissed he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the lube and a condom. Slowly he began to kiss his way down his neck, where he stopped to nibble and suck until Quinn moaned and began to squirm. Leaving the neck, he kissed his way down to one nipple where he sucked it into his mouth as he teased it with his tongue. When Quinn arched up at Justin, he moved over to the other nipple and with his hands, grabbed Quinn's hips and held him down. 

 

Quinn began to pant and tried to watch Justin but knew that if Justin didn't fuck him soon he was going to go crazy. Taking his hands he grabbed Justin's head and when he had his attention he said, "Fuck me! For pities sake fuck me now! We can go slower the next time!" 

 

Justin smiled up into Quinn's face, squirted some lube into his hands and pushed a finger into Quinn's waiting ass. At the feel of the intrusion, Quinn released Justin's face, threw back his head and sighed. Justin made quick work of preparing Quinn and had to smile at the moan that came out of him when he removed his fingers. Quickly Justin rolled on the condom as he raised Quinn's legs to his shoulders and slowly pushed into Quinn. When he was all the way in, he couldn't keep from smiling at Quinn's hissing "Yes." 

 

Justin started out with a slow rhythm as he bent over and kissed Quinn. Quinn moaned at the sensation his cock being trapped between their bodies as Justin pumped into him. Together they explored what they could with their hands, finding spots that made the other groan and moan as they continued to move together. Soon, Justin felt the need to speed up and leaning away from Quinn, began to pump his leaking cock and he pumped harder and faster into him. Within moments, Quinn arched up and cried out has he came in hard spurts that covered his chest. Quinn's hole clenching around his cock was just enough to make Justin cry out as well and fill the condom with his cum. 

 

Collapsing on top of Quinn, he laid there as they both tried to catch their breaths. Quinn slowly reached up and wrapped his arms around Justin's still trembling body. Justin laid there and enjoyed the feeling of being held before raising up and withdrawing his cock from Quinn's ass and disposing of the condom. Looking over at Quinn, he arched his brows and smiled, "So, I can explore your body later huh?" 

 

Quinn smiled back. "Absolutely, as long as you do that to me again." 

 

Justin rolled over on top of him, still smiling. "Oh, I don't think that will be a problem." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin was true to his word and he fucked, sucked, and rimmed Quinn the rest of the night and into the morning before either one fell into a deep sleep. When Justin finally awoke, it was with a smile on his face and a long satisfying stretch. Looking over, he expected to find Quinn, only to find that he was alone. At first it upset him, but then he decided that it was for the best. The last thing he needed was a boyfriend and he would have to make sure that Quinn knew that. 

 

Rising, he took a long hot shower, dressed and went into his living room where he grabbed his sketch pad and went outside to do some drawings from the festival. He had promised Bruce and Arden he would come over for dinner and tell them what he thought of Beltane. He smiled as he thought of the night before and continued his drawing until it was time for him to go. It was while he was on his way to their house that he ran into Quinn. 

 

"Hey Quinn," Justin said, deciding that he was going to go ahead and get it over with. 

 

"Hey Justin," Quinn smiled but saw the expression on Justin's face. Before Justin could say anything he continued. "Look about last night. It was Beltane. A night for sex and passion remember. I want you to know, I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now. I…I just got to school and I really need to concentrate on that. I could however really use a friend." 

 

Justin stared at Quinn for several minutes before smiling back at Quinn. He didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Finally he decided that he would just be happy. "That's great. To be honest I was going to tell you the same thing." 

 

Together they laughed and made their way to Bruce and Arden's for dinner. Over the following months, Justin and Quinn could be found in each other's company but they never repeated their night of Beltane, choosing to keep it strictly at a friendship level. 

 

What Justin didn't know was that Quinn watched him and sighed when he was alone, wondering just how long he was going to have wait before Justin decided that he wanted more then friendship. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

"So Sunshine," Brian panted trying to catch his breath. "Are you and Vassili all set to meet up?" 

 

Justin continued to catch his breath, amazed that after almost 8 months, that Brian could still make him cum so hard just over the phone. "Yeah, we're going to meet up in Lisbon, then take the train into Spain. We both want to get somewhere warm as soon as we can." 

 

"Hum, two weeks backpacking around Spain. Sounds like fun." Brian said with a touch of sarcasm. 

 

Justin laughed, "Not everyone is as spoiled and pampered as you are." 

 

Brian grinned, "Just because I'd rather drive in an air conditioned car instead of walking or riding in a rickety old bus doesn't mean I'm spoiled or pampered. I noticed that you're not camping out or staying in hostels." 

 

Justin continued smiling, "Well, we all do like a few comforts. Since Rage is doing so well and Michael has stayed on top of getting my money to me on a regular basis, we were able to pool our money and stay at some of the nicer hotels." 

 

"So, after two weeks trudging around Spain, I bet your going to love coming home." Brian said planning on asking Justin if he wanted to stay with him instead of at his mom's. 

 

Justin quit smiling. "Uh…Brian…" 

 

Brian didn't like the way Justin had suddenly gotten quiet or the seriousness of his voice when he finally spoke. "You're not coming home." He suddenly knew. 

 

Justin sighed. "No I'm not. I've been looking over my options and I've decided to take classes straight through. I know it means I won't be able to come home for the summer, but it means that I will finish in two years instead of three. Three years is just too long to be living in a foreign country." 

 

Brian shut his eyes and thought about what he wanted to say and how much he wanted Justin to come home. 

 

When Brian didn't say anything, Justin continued. "I've made several friends here and Bruce and Arden are great, but it's just not the same. If I were going to college anywhere in the states, it would be different. I'd be home almost every holiday and people could come visit on a whim and it wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to do it. I miss Pittsburgh. Emails, letters, photos, and phone calls are great but they can't take the place of seeing, talking and spending time with the people you care for. I…I hope you understand." 

 

Brian did understand. "Yeah Sunshine, I do. It's the same here believe me. That's why everyone was so excited about you coming home. They'll understand though. You need to do what's best for you." 

 

Justin heard the disappointment in Brian's voice even though he had tried to hide it. "Do you really?" 

 

Brian sighed. "Yes Justin. I mean it. So tell me, what else have you been up too?" 

 

Brian sat and listened as Justin filled him in on the past few weeks and couldn't keep the smile off his face as he noticed a few Gaelic words being used, or that his voice was taking on a slight burr. Of course he knew this was only natural, but thought it was cute and sexy. Not that he would ever tell him that. It was only after they had said goodnight and he was thinking over their conversation, that he realized the name Quinn had come up quite a few times. He wondered if it was the same Quinn that Justin had told him about from that festival awhile back. He was glad that Justin had finally made a good friend over there but couldn't stop the sinking feeling in his stomach. Of course he knew he was being silly since he and Justin were just friends, but it still didn't stop him from feeling that there was something else. He knew he couldn't begrudge Justin for falling in love with someone else. Especially since he knew how lonely he was. He would just have to wait and see what happened. Then he would just have to learn to live with it and continue to be there for him. Reaching over he put out his cigarette, turned out the light, and tried to get some sleep.


	10. Glitter and Shine

“So are you all packed?” Quinn asked as he leafed through Justin’s latest copy of Rage. 

 

Justin walked out of his bedroom and looked at Quinn as he sat his large backpack by the door. In the month since Beltane, they had become good friends and spent a lot of their free time together, even though there had been no repeat of that night. Justin knew that the attraction was still there but neither he nor Quinn had acted on it. “Yeah, I’m all packed.” 

 

Justin plopped down beside Quinn and leaned against him to see where he was at in the comic. “So what do you think?” 

 

Quinn looked up and smiled. “I think it’s fantastic! And that’s not because I know the artist either." 

 

Justin reached behind him and pulled the large brown envelope to him. “Here, this is for you.” 

 

Quinn looked puzzled and opened the thick envelope. Inside he found one of each issue of Rage that had been released so far. “Justin, I can’t take your copies of Rage.” 

 

Justin laughed. “They aren’t mine. I had Michael send them to me. I knew he always kept several copies of each for himself and that it wouldn’t kill him to give one up.” 

 

Quinn looked down at the stack more closely. “Justin, these are all signed! You didn’t have to do that.” 

 

Justin continued to smile. “I know, but I wanted to, and Michael got a kick out of doing it.” 

 

Standing up, he looked down at Quinn and fought the urge to kiss him. “So, I don’t have to be at the airport for another two hours. Let’s go get something to eat.” 

 

Justin grabbed his backpack and hefted it up on his shoulder. After locking the door, he turned to Quinn. “Here, can you keep an eye on the place for me?” 

 

Quinn looked at the keys dangling from Justin’s hand before reaching for them. “Sure.” 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Two hours later, Justin had checked his bag in at the airport, and they were working their way toward security. When it was Justin’s turn, Quinn stepped out of line. “See you in two weeks.” 

 

Justin stepped up to the security guard and looked back. “Yeah, see you in two weeks.” 

 

Walking through the metal detectors and grabbing his items from where they’d been looked over, he looked back one more time, and waved back as Quinn waved before turning to leave. 

 

Finding his gate, he sat down to wait for boarding. Once he was on the plane, he pulled out his sketch pad, intending to work on some pictures for Michael. Instead he found himself drawing Quinn as he had laid on the couch reading ‘Rage’. Since Beltane, he had found himself drawing more and more pictures of Quinn. Before he had time to think more about it, the plane was landing in Spain. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin stepped off the plane into the airport in Madrid, and walked through security to find Vassili waiting for him with a huge smile. “Justin! Look at you! You’ve let your hair grow. It looks good.” 

 

Justin smiled back, and stepped into the arms that were being held out to hug him. “Vassili! Thanks! You look good too.” 

 

Vassili picked up his backpack. “Come on. Let’s get out of this airport, and go find out hotel. There is still enough daylight left that we can do a little sightseeing have a great dinner, and maybe a little dancing afterward.” 

 

Justin laughed. “Vassili we’re going to be here for four more days. We don’t have to squeeze it all in one night.” 

 

Vassili laughed as well. “Yeah I know, but I’m so excited to be here. I’ve been working non-stop since last we saw each other, and I’m looking forward to a little fun.” 

 

“Okay, okay.” Justin laughed as they made their way out of the airport, and hailed a cab to take them to their hotel. 

 

Pulling up to The Palace Hotel they paid their driver, and made their way through the lobby, the whole time looking around in awe. Checking in, they made their way to the elevators, but stopped, and went toward the main rotunda lounge. They slowed as they both began to take in the fanciful ceiling frescoes, and the custom-made carpets. When they finally stepped into the lounge, they saw the dazzling stained-glass cupola that was there. 

 

“This is amazing.” Justin all but whispered. 

 

“Yes it is, and this is just the hotel. Can you imagine what we’re going to find in the many museums they have here?” Vassili said as he turned to head back to the elevators. 

 

Justin turned, and joined him. Making their way to their room, they looked around. Vassili walked toward the bed, and flung himself on it. Justin walked to the windows, and pulled back the shades, and looked over the city before him. He felt excitement flow through him at the thought of where he was, and turned to say something, only to feel a slight disappointment when he realized it was Vassili on the bed, and not whom he was wishing were there. 

 

Vassili got off the bed, and walked over to join Justin “What’s the matter?” 

 

Justin shook his head. “Nothing. Did you notice on the ride from the airport that while there were several old buildings that looked Spanish, a lot of the monuments and such seem like they belong in France?” 

 

Vassili continued to look at Justin, and knew that that wasn’t what he was thinking of, but decided to let it go for now. “Yes, I did. It has to do with the royal families of the two countries being so closely tied.” 

 

Justin nodded his understanding. “So, where do you want to go first?” 

 

Vassili seemed to think for a moment. “Well, it’s only about three, so how about we go to the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia? It’s open till nine today. That will give us a lot of time there. If not to see it all, then most of it.” 

 

Justin smiled. “That sounds good to me. Then we come back here? Or do we want to go ahead, and change for tonight before we go?” 

 

“Well, I know you’re going to want to take your sketchpad, but I think we should probably go ahead, and get ready. That way we can just drop it off or even take it with us.” Vassili said. 

 

“Sounds good to me.” Justin went over to his backpack, and began to unpack it, looking for something to wear. Finding the shirt he was looking for, and a fresh pair of jeans, Justin began to strip. 

 

Vassili had also begun to strip as well, but stopped to watch Justin. As Justin stood there in his underwear with his back to Vassili, he couldn’t help, but feel his cock grow. Justin was still as gorgeous as he remembered. Of course he wasn’t…, but no, he wasn’t going to think of that. Instead he was going to enjoy what he was here for, a vacation with a good friend, a friend who was fun to be with in, and out of bed. 

 

Vassili walked up behind Justin, and wrapped his arms around him as he kissed Justin’s neck. “I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind taking a shower first. I never feel clean after riding on an airplane for more than an hour. Why don’t you join me?” 

 

Justin moaned as Vassili moved his hand, and cupped Justin’s balls, and rubbed his cock as he talked. “Sounds good to me.” 

 

Justin turned in Vassili’s arms, and quickly claimed his lips. The kiss was eager, hard, and hurried. Quickly they removed what little clothing they still had on, and made it into the bathroom. Justin turned on the water while Vassili went, and grabbed the other things they would need. 

 

Returning to the bathroom, he found Justin already under the spray of the shower, slowly stroking himself. Stepping into the shower, he smiled. “You started without me.” 

 

Justin laughed as he gave himself another good tug before he stopped, and reached for Vassili’s. Slowly he stroked him. “Not really. Just enjoying myself a little while I waited for you to get back.” 

 

Vassili groaned at the pleasure that Justin’s slow, but steady strokes were bringing him. “Well, I’m here now so maybe we can share the pleasure together.” 

 

Vassili reached out, and wrapped one of his hands around Justin’s dripping cock while his other hand brought Justin closer to him so that he could kiss him. The kiss was just as intense as the others had been, and Justin broke it off with as gasp. “Vassili, oh…, fuck me. Now!” 

 

Vassili didn’t need to be asked twice. Especially when it was something he wanted to do. Quickly, he turned Justin around, and prepared him. Then rolling the condom on, he slowly pushed into Justin. 

 

Justin moaned as Vassili filled him. Bracing himself against one of the shower walls he pushed back, meeting Vassili’s next thrust. Vassili leaned against Justin’s back, placing his hands next to Justin’s as he began a steady thrusting that slowly built in speed until it became nothing more then short, sharp jabs that had them both panting with the need for release. A couple of more jabs, and Justin cried out as he shot cum all over the shower wall. Vassili groaned as Justin’s ass clinched around him, and with a couple of more thrusts reached his own orgasm. 

 

Slowly they got their breathing back before moving apart. Looking at each other from across the steam filled shower they smiled at each other, and then began to laugh, the nervous tension they had both been feeling now gone. Quickly they washed up, and got out of the shower. Drying, and dressing for the night, they grabbed their sketchpads, and left for the museum. 

 

Stepping out of the hotel they made their way down the street until they finally came to the Puerta del Sol. They found out that Sol, as the locals liked to call it, was just a huge traffic junction that was also a bus stop. Hopping a bus to the museum, they arrived with a little over three hours in which to look over the wonderful collection of artwork by artist such as Salvador Dali, Juan Gris, Joan Miro, and Pablo Picasso. They both laughed when they heard that the museum was once called the ugliest building in Spain. After they left the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia they took a taxi to the Café de Chinitas. There they had dinner, and watched some of the best gypsy-born flamenco artist perform in Spain. The shows lasted until two a.m., and the artist in both men had them drawing pictures after pictures of the amazing dancers. 

 

Much to their surprise, several of the dancers approached them, and asked to see the pictures they had done. With much exclamation, they were asked to draw more or if they would be interested in doing some for them for their posters. Justin laughed, and after looking at Vassili, they agreed to come back the next night to draw some more. Strolling back toward the bus stop to take them back to their hotel, they talked about what they had done, passing each other sketches, and talking about their different styles. Once back at their hotel, they slowly removed their clothes, and crawled into bed. 

 

Rolling onto his side, Vassili looked at Justin, studying him. “You know, something is different about you, but I can’t quite place what.” 

 

Justin laughed as he turned to face him. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. When you figure out what it is, let me know, okay?” 

 

Both men continued to look at each other before slowly leaning in for a kiss. The sex this time was slow, and tender. The eager releases satisfied earlier in the day. This time the nervousness was gone, and now it was just comfortable. 

 

Afterwards, as they laid quietly in each other’s arms, Justin asked, “So what do you want to do tomorrow?” 

 

Vassili thought about it, and finally said, “Why don’t we go check out the El Rastro’s flea market in the morning, and then in the afternoon, we can check out either Museo del Prado, the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum or Parque de Retiro.” 

 

Justin looked slightly puzzled, “What’s the Parque de Retiro? I’ve heard of the other two.” 

 

Vassili smiled, and bent down for a gentle kiss before answering. “It was originally the royal playground, and extends over 350 acres. The palaces are gone, but the dance hall is still there, and is now a museum, the Army museum is there as well, but what is really spectacular about it, are the numerous fountains, and statues that are everywhere as well as a large lake. With it being summer, the rose garden will be in full bloom as well, and are absolutely beautiful.” 

 

Justin yawned, and fought to keep his eyelids open. “The flea market and park sound like a nice day.” 

 

Within seconds Justin was asleep, and Vassili laid there watching him. He had been disappointed that Justin had talked about the next day instead of romance, but he had known that Justin wasn’t in love with him, and probably never would be. With a sigh, he pulled him close, and fell asleep; he knew he had a lot of thinking to do on this trip, and a decision to make. 

 

The next morning they awoke still in each other’s arms. While Vassili enjoyed it, he couldn’t help but notice the confusion on Justin’s face. He assumed that it was because of waking up in a strange room with him. 

 

Justin quickly jumped at Vassili’s excuse, and got out of bed, heading into the bathroom. Shutting the door so that Vassili knew he wanted to be alone, he started the shower. Getting into the shower and washing quickly, he couldn’t keep the visions of Quinn out of his head. That was why he had been confused when he had awakened, he had been dreaming of Quinn. Hearing the knock on the bathroom door, and his name called out quietly, he knew that he had some thinking to do, and a decision to make. 

 

Vassili knocked on the bathroom door again. “Justin? Are you alright?” 

 

Justin sighed. “I’m sorry Vassili, come on in.” 

 

He knew he had a hard-on, but also knew that Vassili would think it was only his morning wood that still needed to be taken care of. Sure enough, Vassili walked into the bathroom, into the shower, and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck. 

 

“Good morning.” Vassili said as he continued to kiss Justin’s neck. “I see you haven’t taken care of this yet. That’s good, because I want it.” 

 

Vassili turned Justin so that his back was to the spray, and began to slowly lick the small streams of water on his skin until he was kneeling in front of him. Slowly he licked his cock all over before taking him completely into his mouth. Justin closed his eyes, and let the sensations flow over him as Vassili brought him to the edge, and then over it. 

 

Opening his eyes, he saw Vassili looking intently at him before he swooped in for a hard, and passion filled kiss. Justin could taste himself, and as he felt the need for air, he also felt himself begin to grow hard again. Reaching down he wrapped his hand around Vassili’s hard cock, and stroked it firmly, but slowly. 

 

Breaking off the kiss he said, “Turn around.” 

 

Vassili didn’t even hesitate, but turned around, and waited to see what Justin would do. Justin began kissing Vassili’s back as he worked his way down until he was level with his ass. Spreading his cheeks, Justin slowly licked down the crack following the water until he found Vassili’s hole. With the same intensity that he had licked his way down, he licked the hole in slow circles drawing a deep moan from Vassili. Next he ran his tongue across it, but never once did he dip into it. 

 

By this time Vassili was panting, and pushing back against Justin’s tongue. “Justin! Either rim me or fuck me, but do something!” 

 

Justin smiled as he stood up, and grabbed a condom. He tore it open slowly, and Vassili moaned at the amount of time it took him. Rolling the condom onto his cock, he leaned back against him so that it rubbed against his ass. “Is this what you want?” 

 

Vassili couldn’t believe what a tease Justin was being. “Yes!” 

 

“Are you sure?” Justin asked as he continued to tease Vassili. 

 

Vassili moaned, and wrapped his own hand around his cock. “Justin, you either fuck me now or I’m going to bring myself off, and you can keep your hard-on.” 

 

Justin didn’t give Vassili a chance. He quickly placed his cock against Vassili’s hole, and pushed until his head was buried. Then he waited as Vassili got used to him. While he did this, he reached around, and removed Vassili’s hand from around his cock. “No, that’s mine. You can’t have it.” 

 

Once Vassili was ready, Justin pushed all the way in, and began to set a slow teasing pace. Vassili was having none of it though. “Harder!” 

 

Justin smiled, and squeezed Vassili’s cock tighter, and picked up his pace so that within moments, Vassili was shooting all over the wall of the shower, and Justin was cuming as well. 

 

As they both slowly got their breaths back, Justin disposed of the condom, and began to dry off as Vassili finished up his shower. 

 

The rest of the day went as planned, with both men turning to the other every now and then to say something, but stopping as if surprised at whom the other was. That night they went back to Café de Chinitas where they were given their food, and drinks for free as they drew sketches after sketches. As the club was being closed, they showed the sketches they had made that night, and the dancers selected several of them. They promised to stop by before they were left Madrid. 

 

As they walked down to the bus stop neither man was really ready to go back to the hotel. “Why don’t we go, and check out one of the clubs? They won’t close for another three or four hours.” Justin suggested as after two nights of watching the dancing, he was in the mood to do some. 

 

Vassili smiled, “Okay, which club were you thinking of?” 

 

Justin stopped, and turned to face Vassili. “Well Black, and White is the major gay bar here, and their open until 5 a.m., and so is Refugio which is supposedly the best gay disco bar, and I hear they do theme nights. Therefore, I thought we could try them both.” 

 

Vassili laughed. “In other words, we’re going to dance till dawn?” At Justin’s nod, Vassili continued, “Sure, why not.” 

 

They stumbled into their hotel room around six a.m. both exhausted from their dancing, and a little drunk. Laughing they undressed, and crawled into bed. Looking at each other, they sighed, and said good night before going to sleep. Both too tired to do anything else. 

 

They awoke around noon, and after a quick lunch, gathered their supplies, and went to Casa de Campo, another royal park. They were leaving in the morning for Seville. They had been sketching for awhile when Justin looked up as he finished his last one. Standing, he stretched, and looked over to see how Vassili was doing. Vassili, who had paused in his work and looked up to admire Justin, smiled when he turned toward him. “You know? I think one of the things that is different about you is that you seem to be happy. I mean, you’ve been happy other times that I’ve seen you, but I mean a contented and relaxed happy. However that isn’t all of it. Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on some more while I finish my last drawing.” 

 

Justin smiled, “You know, I am. I am happy, and I feel good about my life, and more importantly, about myself.” 

 

Justin sat back down, and continued to talk about what he had been doing lately. Vassili worked on his drawing, but also paused every now, and then to look at Justin. Justin had a smile on his face as he talked, and the happiness was there in his voice. As he finished his work, he sat, and listened to Justin, and started to get an idea of what the other thing was as well. Justin was in love. Not the all-consuming love that he had had with Brian, or the looked for romance that he thought he might have had with Ethan, but he was in love, a slow building, unsought for love. Vassili wasn’t even sure if Justin realized it or not, but he didn’t think so. He sighed, and began to put away his supplies, and Justin finished up with his, and what he was saying. 

 

Vassili now knew that Justin would never love him, and while he had kind of hoped that this trip might bring them together that way, it wasn’t going to happen. Then he thought about home, and what could be waiting for him there if he would give it a shot. 

 

“Justin,” Vassili said coming to a decision. “I want to ask you something, and then I want you to think real hard before you answer me, and please be honest.” 

 

Justin looked at Vassili, and the smile slowly left his face at the seriousness on his face. “Sure Vassili. What?” 

 

Vassili took a deep breath. “Do you wish that someone else was here with you, or here with us? There are times when you seem to turn to say something, only to realize that I’m not the one you want to say it too.” 

 

Justin sighed. He knew he had to be honest, but to be honest with Vassili meant that he had to be honest with himself too. “Vassili, I’m glad that you’re here, but you’re right. I’ve met someone, and even though I’ve tried to keep it as nothing more than friendship, I’ve only been kidding myself. You’ve heard me talk about my friend Quinn? Well…” 

 

Justin, and Vassili walked back toward their hotel, and Justin told him about Quinn, and what he was feeling. Vassili listened, and when they got to their room, he said. “Justin lets get cleaned up, and go back to the Prado for its last couple of hours. Then we’ll go someplace for dinner, and talk some more before we go back to the club to say our goodbyes.” 

 

Justin looked searchingly at Vassili’s face, and nodded his agreement. This time they showered separately, and dressed without much conversation. Leaving their room, they went to a restaurant that was nearby. 

 

After they sat down, and ordered their food, they sat in an awkward silence for several minutes before Vassili finally spoke. “Justin, while I don’t think this is a mistake, I do think it would be a mistake for us to continue on this trip as lovers. I think we should enjoy Spain, but also use this time to think over things that we both seem to have on our minds. You see, you’re not the only one with a…friend.” 

 

Justin looked searchingly at Vassili, and then slowly a smile spread across his face as relief filled him. “I’m glad you feel that way. I was starting to feel guilty every time I turned, and saw it was you instead of Quinn. Not because you weren’t Quinn, but because I felt that I was misleading you, and you’re right, if we both have decisions to make about things going on back home, we need this time to think about what we’re going to do. So tell me about your friend.” 

 

Vassili smiled as their food came, and as they ate, he began to tell Justin about Alexis, a new worker at the museum. 

 

After awhile, they headed for the club, and enjoyed the dancers until they finished. The dancers came over to talk and to say goodbye, but they also gave them each some gifts in the forms of shawls, castanets, and fans, all hand made. 

 

Finally they left with their arms loaded with gifts, and headed back to their hotel. Once there, they packed their bags so that they would be ready to go in the morning. Calling the front desk, they placed a wake-up call for eight in the morning. When they were finished, they approached the bed, and looked at each other, and laughed at their sudden discomfort. 

 

Justin laughed, “Well, I guess we’ll need to make sure that we get double beds from now on.” 

 

Vassili laughed as well. “I guess so. So who gets to sleep on the couch tonight?” 

 

“Well, if you can keep your hands to yourself, then I so can I.” Justin continued laughing, keeping the moment light. 

 

They both undressed down to their underwear, but kept them on, and crawled into bed. Each turning their back to the other as they said goodnight. 

 

The next morning, after breakfast, they made their way to the bus station where they grabbed a bus to Seville. 

 

The bus trip to Seville was uneventful, but relaxed, as Justin and Vassili talked, and watched the scenery. They talked about Madrid, and what they had enjoyed the most, and they talked about what they wanted to see in Seville. They both avoided talking about what seemed to be on both of their minds most of the time. The men back home. 

 

Once in Seville, they found a reasonably priced hotel for two nights with double beds. Leaving their bags in their room, they left with their sketchpads in tow, and began to walk the city. Luckily, Seville was made for exploring on foot, as all the roads had been made for horse drawn buggies. 

 

As they made their way through the city, they found the Barrio de Santa Cruz with all of its interesting architecture, and many shops selling andalusian handcrafts. As the sun was slowly setting, they found a little restaurant there, and had dinner. As they had heard that Seville had a high street crime rate, once they finished, they made their way back toward the hotel for showers, and a decent night sleep. 

 

The next day they made their way to El Alcazar, the 14th century Mudejar palace. As King Juan Carlos wasn’t in residence, they were allowed to tour the palace. Making their way back down, and through the beautiful gardens, they went to the Cathedral, and climbed Giralda Tower for a panoramic view of the city. On the way back to their hotel they stopped at another restaurant in the Barrio. Once in their room, both men pulled out their sketchpads, and finished up some of the sketches they had drawn throughout the day. 

 

Yawning, Justin sat down his pad, stood, and stretched before looking at Vassili. “I think I’m going to go ahead, and turn in. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

 

Vassili looked, and smiled. “I just want to finish this one up, and I’ll be heading there myself. Good night.” 

 

Justin went, and crawled into bed. Turning his back to the rest of the room he tried to go to sleep, but his mind, now unoccupied, had other things planned. He started thinking about Brian, Vassili, and Quinn. 

 

For a moment guilt took hold, but then he tried to think of why he should feel guilty. Brian and he weren’t together. Not because he didn’t want it, but because Brian didn’t. True, Brian had admitted that he hoped that later in the future, they might be able to be together, but what about now? Was he supposed to do like Brian did? Was he supposed to start tricking? No, he couldn’t do that. That wasn’t what he was like or about, and he couldn’t become that way. Trying to become like Brian was one of the things that had help tear them apart. 

 

Then there was Vassili, Justin knew that Vassili had fallen in love with him at one point, but he didn’t love him, and never had. He knew that he probably should have never continued the commutations after his last visit, but he really liked Vassili, and he had helped him when he had really been at one of the lowest points of his life. Now while it seemed that Vassili still had feelings for him, he was also falling for someone else, and he was glad. 

 

And then there was Quinn. The night of Beltane had been fantastic, and he had been relieved when Quinn said he only wanted to be friends. He admitted that Quinn was his best friend, but he knew he needed to be honest with himself. When he wasn’t with Quinn, he missed him, and the attraction between them was as strong as ever. He realized that Quinn was the person he thought about first thing in the morning, and the last person he thought about at night. With a sigh he realized that he was in love with Quinn. Now the question was what was he going to do about it? With that though, he drifted off to sleep. 

 

Vassili finished his drawing, but instead of going to bed, he sat there, and thought about his situation. He knew that Justin had never loved him, and with what he knew about not only Brian, but also now Quinn, he knew that he never would. Justin would always think of them as friends, and nothing more. Then there was Alexis. Alexis was vibrant, and full of life. He had a way of making him laugh and while they had never gone beyond the roles of friendship, he knew that the sex between them would be good. Closing his eyes, he pictured Alexis’ face, and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face or the warmth through his body. Yes, a relationship between them would be good, and he knew that he was falling in love with him as well. 

 

Hearing Justin’s sigh, Vassili opened his eyes, and looked at the bed. Sighing himself he stood up, stretched, put up his supplies, and crawled into his own bed. Thinking of the blond next to him for a moment, then thinking of Alexis, he couldn’t stop smiling again as sleep took him. 

 

On their last day in Seville, they went to the Museo Provincial de Bellas Artes de Seville where they spent half the day roaming through the artwork there, and after lunch they strolled through the Pargue Maria Luisa before going to catch their late afternoon bus to Gibraltar. 

 

They were spending this one night, and the following day in Gibraltar, where they were surprised upon arriving to find a British city. Finding a small hotel, they checked in, and went to find a place to eat. 

 

After dinner they strolled around the town, getting a feel of the English, and Moor combinations. Going back to the hotel, they both pulled out their pads, and drew some of the things that inspired them. As with the night before, they went to bed when they were each ready to, and dreamed of things that they didn’t discuss with the other. 

 

Then next morning, they made their way to the famous ‘Rock of Gibraltar’. Both men spent time just sitting, and taking in the sights, and drawing. When they were ready to leave, they found that they were ahead of schedule. They decided to go ahead, and make their way back to the bus station, and leave for Granada early. 

 

On arriving in Granada, they made their way to the hotel they had booked before the start of their trip, and checked in for the length of their stay. Grabbing their ever-present sketchpads, they set out for the Catedral, and Capilla Real. Once they were outside the ornate Spanish Renaissance Cathedral, they paused to read up on its history. They couldn’t believe that it had taken from 1521 to 1714 to finish. Walking inside, they looked at the amazing gold-and-white decor, before making their way to the flamboyant Gothic Royal chapel where the remains of Queen Isabella, her husband, their daughter Joanne the Mad, and her husband, Phillip the Handsome. Vassili and Justin laughed as they looked over the small coffins with their effigies, their names not quite matching their appearance. 

 

After they left the chapel, they walked to Albaicin, the old Arab quarter, and the surrounding gypsy caves. They walked among the narrow crooked streets, looking at the whitewashed houses, and villas with their cisterns, fountains, and plazas. As the sun was getting lower in the sky, a sudden noise had them looking at each other, and bursting out with laughter. It was Justin’s stomach, time to find a place for dinner. 

 

After dinner, they went back to their room to work on their sketches until 9:30. After which they grabbed a taxi to take them up to Alhambra for a short floodlit tour. They were going to go back the next day for a bigger tour, but thought that a night tour would also be fun. 

 

The next morning they were up early, and at Alhambra by nine. The line to go in was amazing, just as they had heard, and they were glad that they had taken the advice about getting there when it opened. As they were roaming around the open aired rooms with their lacelike walls, and courtyards with fountains, they heard that no more visitors were being allowed in. 

 

The next day, they checked out of their hotel, and made their way to Generalife before they left town. Built in the 13th century, it overlooked Alhambra, and was the summer palace of the sultans before the Moors were chased out of Granada. Justin and Vassili strolled through the gardens, and courtyards, admiring their beauty, and imagining the past. Justin was also making notes, as he got ideas to talk over with Michael about a possible storyline for Rage among other things. 

 

At noon, Justin, and Vassili made their way to the bus station where they grabbed a bus to Valencia. 

 

Once they were in Valencia, and checked into their hotel, Vassili, and Justin went down to the café in the hotel, and planned their days. Valencia was a more modern city then most, and not considered to be beautiful. However, they did have several museums, and professed to have the Holy Grail. 

 

After visiting the Grail and spending a day visiting the museums, they were sitting in their room when Vassili finally looked at Justin, and asked. “Do you know what you’re going to do when you get home?” 

 

Justin sighed. “No, I don’t.” 

 

Vassili sighed as well. “You love Quinn. What’s to think about?” 

 

Justin looked up at Vassili a little taken by surprise. “How do you know I love Quinn?” 

 

Vassili smiled. “It’s in your voice and your face every time you talk about him. Is it because of Brian?” 

 

Justin slumped back into his chair. “Yes, to both questions. I love them both, and I don’t know what to do.” 

 

Vassili shook his head sadly. “Justin, who is it you think of first thing in the morning, and the last thing at night? Be honest with yourself.” 

 

Justin didn’t pause when he answered. “Quinn.” 

 

“Then I think you have your answer. You love Quinn now, and you have for awhile, you just were unwilling to admit it, or even face it. You’ve told me yourself that you and Brian aren’t together, and might not ever be. Don’t blow this chance at happiness here and now for something that might not ever happen. If you and Brian are meant to be, then you will be together when you are meant to be together, but allow yourself to be happy now as well.” 

 

Justin thought about what Vassili had said to him. “What about you? What are you going to do?” 

 

Vassili smiled, “I’m going to ask Alexis out. Not for dinner as a co-worker, but on a real date. I really like him, and I think that we could really be happy together, but with us being co-worker, it’s a little unnerving, and whether if it’s the right thing to do.” 

 

Justin smiled at Vassili. “As you just told me Vassili, don’t deny yourself happiness now when ‘what if’ might not ever happen.” 

 

Vassili laughed, and Justin joined him. “Thanks Vassili, this talk actually helped. I miss Brian, but the pain of not being with him has lessened to a dull ache. However, I miss Quinn so much right now that it hurts. I guess I already knew the answer to what I was going to do, I just was afraid of making the same mistake that I made with Ethan.” 

 

Vassili shook his head. “You didn’t love Ethan. You were looking for something, and had hoped you had found it with him, but you didn’t. With Quinn, you weren’t looking for anything, and something found you instead.” 

 

Justin smiled. “You’re right. When I get home, I think I’ll have a talk with Quinn, and see what he thinks about us. I don’t want to lose the friendship with him, but I do want more.” 

 

Vassili laughed. “I think that you will probably find that he has been waiting for you if what you have said about the two of you is any indication. He’s been waiting for you to see him, to realize that he’s right there, and all you have to do is say the word.” 

 

Justin nodded as Vassili went on. “What are you going to tell Brian?” 

 

Justin sobered up a little. “I don’t know yet. I guess I’ll think of something, but first I need to find out if what you say is true with Quinn first. Then I’ll deal with telling Brian.” 

 

Vassili nodded in agreement. “That sounds reasonable.” Looking at his watch, he saw that they had actually been talking for quite a while. “It’s getting late, and we should be going to bed. We can talk about this some more in the morning.” 

 

Justin nodded as he followed Vassili’s suit, rose, stretched, and walked to his bed. “Thanks Vassili, this really has helped.” 

 

Vassili smiled. “Yes, it has for me too. Good night Justin.” 

 

Both men climbed into their beds, and fell almost instantly asleep, their problems straightened out, and action ready to be taken once their trip was over. 

 

Their last day in Valencia was spent at the La Lonja de la Seda. The former silk exchange dated back to 1498, and was still considered the most splendid example of secular Gothic architecture in Spain. Once they were through looking over the twisted spiral columns, and stained glass windows, they made their way to the bus stop for the last leg of their trip. Barcelona. 

 

Arriving in Barcelona, they checked into their last hotel. They would be flying out of El Prat de Liobregat Airport in three days to head home. While the sun was still out, they decided to make their way to La Sagrada Familia. Both men marveled at the incomplete masterpiece of a building. The Church of the Holy Family is a bizarre wonder. Started in 1882, it still wasn’t complete when the designer died in 1926. However work been continued on it to this day. Some say that the design is art nouveau run rampant. 

 

Leaving there, they found a restaurant for dinner, and then made their way back to their hotel, where they got cleaned up, and ready for a night of clubbing. First they made their way to Punto BCN, the largest gay bar in Barcelona, which set out to attract not only young locals, but tourist as well. The good thing about going here though, was that when they bought their drinks, they were given directions, and an entry pass to Arena, a seventies, and eighties popular gay bar. Vassili, and Justin danced until the wee hours of the morning, and then tired, they happily made their way back to their hotel. 

 

The next morning they made their way to Barri Gotic, the old aristocratic quarter. They spent several hours roaming its narrow streets and squares as they made their way to the Catedral de Barcelona, and the nearby roman ruins, before heading to the Museu Frederic Mares where they walked among the medieval sculptures. 

 

Going back to the hotel after grabbing something to eat, they finished up some of their drawings before once again going out for the evening. This time they went to one called El Convento. A bar decorated like a church. In a rare moment on the trip, Justin actually wished that Brian was there as he would have gotten a kick out of the club. Later they made their way to a club called Metro, and had a fantastic time dancing to the regular dance music. But what really got them, was watching the men dance gracefully to the more traditional Spanish music. 

 

The next day was spent almost completely at the Museu Picasso. They were amazed to find that it was not one, but two old palaces that held the 2500 paintings, engravings, and drawings of Pablo Picasso. That night being the last night of their stay, they took it easy, and had a light dinner, went back to their room, packed, and finished up some drawings as they talked. 

 

Their last day in Barcelona was only until four o’clock, so they went to the Museu Nacional de’Art de Catalunya. They roamed around looking at the art work before finally deciding it was time for lunch. After finding a little café, they sat and ate, but didn’t talk much. They were both quiet, thinking about their trip, and the fact that it was coming to an end. 

 

Finally it was time to make their way to the airport and wait for their flights. Vassili’s flight was leaving first, so Justin walked with him to his gate to wait with him until it was time. 

 

After they had sat quietly for several minutes, Vassili finally spoke. “Justin, I know that you know that I care for you, and I know that you don’t feel the same way for me. And as much as I value your friendship, until I know how things are going to go with Alexis, I think that we shouldn’t talk to each other for awhile.” 

 

Just then Vassili’s flight was called for boarding. “I hope that you understand and will accept it. And who knows, maybe one day, you’ll hear from me and we can get our friendship back on track.” 

 

Justin began to say something when the call went out again. Vassili stood up and faced Justin. “Justin, please. I will always think fondly of you but I need to do this. Otherwise, I don’t know if I can move forward with Alexis.” 

 

Justin felt his eyes begin to water and he nodded his understanding. Vassili drew Justin in and they hugged each other tightly. “I’ll miss you Vassili.” 

 

“And I’ll miss you.” Vassili said as he released Justin and began to walk away from him. At the gate, Vassili turned, and with a sad smile, waved one last time to Justin before turning and boarding his plane. 

 

Justin watched as they closed the door leading to the plane and felt a tear roll down his face, and he felt that he would never see or hear from Vassili again. Turning he walked to his gate and sat down, fighting the tears that he felt building. Instead he opened his sketchpad and began to draw a picture of Vassili, one where he was happy and laughing, a time in which Justin was happy as well. A happy memory that he would carry around with him forever. 

 

As he finished the portrait, Justin heard his plane called. Closing his sketchpad, he boarded his plane and pulled out a different pad. Opening it, he looked at the pictures of Quinn and smiled. He was going home. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin walked past airport security and headed for luggage pick-up to get his backpack. As he made his way through the crowd, he looked at all the activity going on around him. He stopped in surprise when he saw Quinn standing there waiting for him. He couldn’t help the smile, nor the thrill of seeing him that coursed through his body. Without thinking or breaking eye contact, Justin walked up to Quinn, cupped his face with his hands, and kissed him in a slow tender kiss. Pulling back, he looked deep into Quinn’s eyes and said, “I missed you.” 

 

Quinn’s face lit up with his smile. “I missed you too.” And brought his hands up to cup Justin’s on his face and sighed in contentment. He knew that something had now changed for them. “Come on. Let’s get you home.” 

 

The two men released each other and continued to walk toward the luggage pick-up. After a couple of steps, Justin reached over and took Quinn’s hand in his, and refused to let go until he had to. 

 

The ride back to Justin’s place was made in silence as was the climb up the stairs. Quinn opened to door and ushered Justin in. “Are you hungry? I know you must be tired of hauling this thing around.” 

 

Quinn took Justin’s backpack from him and sat it in the bedroom. “Why don’t you go take a shower or a bath while I fix something to eat. Then I want to hear all about your trip.” 

 

Justin smiled at how nervous Quinn appeared and walked over and wrapped his arms around him. “That sounds like a great idea. Thanks.” 

 

Justin kissed the side of Quinn’s neck and walked around him and into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he couldn’t help but smile as he thought about how he hoped the rest of the evening would go. 

 

Twenty-five minutes, later Justin stepped into some sweatpants and walked back into his living room, the smell of food making his stomach rumble. However, he had to stop and stare at the sight that greeted him. Everywhere there were candles lit and flower petals of every hue covered the floor and every available surface. 

 

“How did you…?” 

 

Quinn blushed and pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. “I was planning on seducing you tonight, so I had these all at your neighbors. You see, I felt that I had given you enough time, and I missed you so much while you were gone. I wasn’t sure how you felt but…" 

 

Justin walked barefoot across the petals and marveled at how soft they felt. Reaching Quinn, he took the bouquet and leaned forward stopping Quinn’s nervous flow of words with a soft, gentle kiss. Just then, Justin’s stomach rumbled again and both men couldn’t keep from laughing despite the romance that filled the air. 

 

Quinn watched as Justin brought the flowers to his face and couldn’t help laughing again when he sneezed. “I forgot about your allergies.” 

 

Justin grinned and went and sat down on the couch still holding the flowers. “That’s okay. I don’t mind them acting up on occasion.” 

 

Quinn went into the kitchen and returned with two bowls of a hearty stew and sat them on the coffee table. Then he brought over thick slices of bread and two bottles of beer. “Sorry that this isn’t a little bit more fancier.” 

 

Justin leaned over and kissed Quinn. “This is just perfect.” Lifting up his beer bottle, Justin said, “To us and what the future will hold.” 

 

Quinn smiled, “To us.” 

 

They quickly finished the food and Quinn cleaned up the dishes as Justin put the flowers in some water. 

 

Justin went back to the couch and Quinn walked over with two more beers. Justin reached for the beer that Quinn was handing him but instead of taking the bottle, he pulled on Quinn’s wrist to get him to sit with him. 

 

Quinn settled himself between Justin’s legs “So tell me. What changed your mind about us?” 

 

Justin took a large drink of his beer and signed. “There I was touring around Spain with a beautiful man who I enjoy being with, and all I could think about was how much I wished you were there with me.” 

 

“Really?” Quinn asked. 

 

“Yeah.” Justin sighed again and pulled Quinn tighter against him. “It got so bad that Vassili finally asked what was wrong. I felt bad, but I told him the truth.” 

 

“Was it bad?” Quinn asked, concerned that Justin might have ruined his vacation. 

 

Justin laughed. “Actually No. It turned out that Vassili has met someone as well and was using our vacation together to see how he really felt. We spent the rest of the trip telling each other about the people we hoped would be waiting for us.” 

 

Justin kissed the upturned face. “Thank you for waiting for me.” 

 

Quinn whispered against Justin’s lips. “I knew you would come around at some point.” 

 

Justin moaned as he claimed Quinn’s lips and deepened the kiss immediately. Quinn turned till he was on his side with his hip pushed against Justin’s hard-on. Justin broke off the kiss with a gasp. Quinn used Justin’s release to run his tongue up Justin’s neck and slid the fingers of one hand into the waistband of Justin’s sweats to caress the hot tip of Justin’s cock. As he raised his head, Justin lowered his and they locked eyes as Quinn continued to lightly stroke back and forth, drawing beads of precum. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Quinn lowered his head until he could lick Justin’s nipples. 

 

Justin glanced down to watch Quinn’s tongue as it came out and licked first one nipple and then the other. Looking back up, his breath caught, not at the lust that he saw there, but the love that was shining there for all to see. 

 

Quinn pulled the waistband down to uncover all of Justin’s cock and proceeded to kiss his way down Justin’s chest and stomach until he could lick the drops from the leaking head without ever breaking eye contact. 

 

Justin smiled and brought his hands up to run through Quinn’s hair and caress his face. When Quinn finally wrapped his lips around the head of his cock, Justin couldn’t keep his eyes open or the moan of pleasure from escaping. 

 

Leaning his head back, he enjoyed the feeling of Quinn's mouth surrounding his cock, and before long, felt himself about to cum. Reaching down, he stopped Quinn, and drew him back up for a deep kiss. When he released his lips, Justin looked him in the eyes and said, "I don't want to cum with you like this. I want to cum inside you of you after we've made love." 

 

Justin climbed out from under Quinn and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go to bed and let me show you just how I feel about you." 

 

Quinn looked up at Justin and gave him a smile that made Justin's breath catch. Reaching up, he took Justin's hand, and together, they walked into the bedroom. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Almost a week later, Justin and Quinn were on their way to their weekly dinner with Arden and Bruce. As they walked, they held hands and talked to each other as if there were no one else around, the love they felt for each other clearly showing for everyone to see. Meanwhile, a figure standing in the shadows, continued to watch them until they disappeared, before slowly turning back toward the way he had come from. As he climbed back into the car that he had recently left, he looked one more time in the direction that he had just come from, then, with a sigh, he started the engine and headed back to the airport. His surprise visit, it seemed, was over before it had ever had a chance to begin.


	11. Glitter and Shine

It had been almost a week since his impromptu trip. Justin had called him a couple of days after he got home and explained about him and Quinn. Brian tried to sound happy for him and thought maybe he had pulled it off until he heard Justin say he was sorry. 

 

He knew that Justin wanted to remain friends; he had even said so, telling Brian that he was one of the most important persons in his life. Brian sighed loudly. He knew that Justin was waiting for him to make the first move as it was up to him to decide if he could live with it. Since then neither one had called or emailed the other. Brian needed time. After all, it was him who had said that they weren't a couple as long as Justin wasn't home in the states and would have to see once he was back in the states. 

 

It had been a month since he had gone to visit Justin and he still hadn't contacted him. He was feeling better about the situation but was scared, not that he would admit to it that talking to Justin would just bring all of the pain back. 

 

Looking at his clock, he realized that he had to be in a meeting in about fifteen minutes. Standing, he began to collect his files and was ready when Cynthia knocked on the door to tell him it was time. 

 

Walking into the conference room, he looked over the assembled people, there for the new restaurant in town. Dwyer's was a new restaurant chain that was getting rave reviews wherever it opened. Now, one was being built here in Pittsburgh and they were looking for a firm to help advertise it. If they liked what they saw here today, they might even use them nationally. That was what both Gardner and Brian were hoping for. 

 

During the introductions, Brian had felt his gaydar go off and a little shock go through his system when he had shaken hands with Tristan Matthews. The shock went straight to his cock and he felt it twitch. Looking over the man, he was pleased to see a man of equal height and build but with jet black wavy hair that was cut stylishly short and amazing green eyes. It was then that he decided that after the meeting he was going to have to see about having a little fun, maybe a little visit to the bathroom. 

 

Brian moved away from the clients and soon gave himself up to his presentation. By the time it was over, contracts were signed. Gardner and Brian were informed that Tristan was going to be staying in town to oversee the building, hiring, and opening of the new restaurant and would be working closely with them on the advertising campaign. 

 

After shaking hands, Brian watched as all the party but Tristan got into the elevator. Brian couldn't believe his luck as he watched him go into the bathroom nearby. Looking at Cynthia, he smirked as he handed her his files and straightened his tie as he walked to the bathroom. 

 

Stepping into the bathroom, Brian went about assaying the situation and then went in for the kill. Just has he grabbed hold of Tristan's jacket he was surprised to find him unmoving and stopped. "What? Don't tell me that I'm wrong. I'm never wrong." 

 

Tristan slowly removed Brian's hand from his jacket and straightened it. "No, you're right. I am gay but you're wrong if you think I enjoy being treated like a piece of meat looking for a quick fuck." 

 

With that Tristan finished his straightening and left the bathroom without a look back. Brian stood there in shocked surprise, trying to figure out what had just happened. He was never turned down. Straightening his own clothes, he turned and left the bathroom just as the elevator doors closed. 

 

Walking back to his office, he sent a scowl at Cynthia when she opened her mouth, went in and shut the door. 

 

That night at Babylon, Brian outdid himself. By the time he left with his last trick of the night he had assured himself that he hadn't lost it. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Over the following week, Brian worked on the Dwyer account. While working, he had a hard time keeping his thoughts off of Tristan. He still couldn't believe that he had been turned down. That week at Babylon saw an increase in activity as Brian reaffirmed himself nightly. 

 

After an extremely active weekend, Brian walked into his office, feeling satisfied and sure of himself once again. The day went smoothly, and that afternoon, when a call came from Tristan to set up a meeting for later in the week, Brian was unfazed by it. 

 

The rest of the week went by, and Babylon saw it's Kinney levels drop back to normal. 

 

Friday came, and without realizing it, Brian took extra special care dressing for work. Cynthia noticed that Brian looked hotter then usual but refrained from saying anything. The day went smoothly, and at three, Cynthia buzzed to let him know that Tristan had arrived. Brian unknowingly straightened his jacket as he rose after telling her to show him in. He knew he looked good. 

 

Brian quickly hid his surprise as his eyes swept over Tristan as he came in. Gone was the impeccably dressed business man. In his place was a man who didn't mind getting dirty. Tristan stood there in boots, jeans, a tight T-shirt, and a jacket that seemed to have been thrown on just for the meeting. 

 

Sitting back down, they began their meeting. Both men seemed to get lost in the project before them. When the meeting was over, Brian did nothing more then shake Tristan's hand and see him out the door. However, he couldn't help but watch him as he walked away. Catching himself, he looked around and found Cynthia sitting at her desk with a large grin on her face. 

 

"What?" Brian scowled. 

 

"Oh, nothing." Cynthia continued to smile and Brian couldn't help the smile that started on it's own, so he quickly went back into his office. 

 

Over the next few weeks, Brian and Tristan had many meetings. Some of them in Brian's office, others were held at the site where Tristan's office was located. While the attraction was still there, Brian never made another purposeful pass. If the hands were held during a handshake a little longer then necessary, or a hand remained on a shoulder, it was all totally unconsciously done. 

 

Meanwhile, the rest of the family began to notice the little changes in Brian. While he still went to Babylon and tricked, the numbers had slowly begun to lower. Brian even began to stay home and visit with Gus more. Of course Brian didn't seem to notice. 

 

One night while going through one of his drawers looking for something, he found an old snapshot of Justin, and realized that he hadn't thought much about him lately and as he looked at the photo, he didn't feel the pain and sorrow that he had. 

 

He still kept up with him through the gang, but still hadn't done so himself. Taking the snapshot, he walked over to the computer and turned it on, his previous search forgotten. Pulling up an empty email, he addressed it and stopped. He realized that he didn't know what to say. Finally, he began with a simple "How are you?" 

 

Before long, he had a long letter telling him about everything that had been going on since last they had talked. Of course, he never said anything about how he felt about Justin and Quinn and avoided that subject completely. It was while he was writing it that it hit him that he liked Tristan, not just liked but respected him as well. It was with this revelation that he ended his letter to Justin and sent it before he changed his mind. 

 

Two days later he was pleased to see an email from Justin. Taking his cue from Brian's letter, he barely talked about Quinn, but filled him in on what had been going on and what was coming up in his life. Brian smiled as he read it and dropped a quick little letter back to him. 

 

A few days later, Brian was at Tristan's office having another late meeting. As the meeting wrapped up, Tristan looked at his watch, saw the time, and made a quick decision. "Brian, would you like to join me for dinner?" 

 

Brian stopped packing up his briefcase and looked up in surprise. "Are you asking me on a date?" 

 

Tristan tried real hard to keep from laughing, but couldn't keep the smile off of his face. He had heard all about Brian's rules and the things he didn't do. He had also heard about his one and only relationship. 

 

Still smiling, he said. "Oh, that's right. Brian Kinney doesn't do dates. I guess we could make it a business dinner." 

 

Brian quickly stopped Tristan from going on. "I could make an exception. What did you have in mind?" 

 

"Well, I really need a shower after scrambling around the site for most of the day, I thought we could each go home, get cleaned up, and I'd come pick you up in, say an hour and a half?" Tristan said as he again looked at the clock. 

 

Brian looked at the clock and nodded. 'That sounds good. Let me give you my address." 

 

Tristan took the note and grazed Brian's fingers with his own as he did it. "Dress casual." 

 

Brian nodded as he stepped out of the office. Once in his car, he stopped and wondered what the hell he was doing. On the drive home, he argued with himself about going, but never made a move to cancel. 

 

As he was getting dressed, the phone rang. "Hey Mikey." 

 

"Brian! Tonight is Awesome Abs night at Babylon. Do you want me to meet you at the diner for dinner before we go?" Michael said, thinking that tonight would just be them for awhile, before Ted and Emmett joined them. 

 

"I can't." Brian said as he finished buttoning his shirt and looked in the mirror. 

 

"What do you mean you can't?" Michael asked quickly getting agitated. 

 

"Just what I said Mikey. I can't." Brian said going over to his closet and looking for a different shirt. 

 

"Why not?" Michael began whining. 

 

Brian sighed, "Because Mikey, I'm going on a date." Brian couldn't keep the smile off his face as he thought about Tristan, or keep it out of his voice. 

 

"A date! Since when do you do dates?!" Michael asked almost accusingly. 

 

Brian was beginning to get angry at Michael's insistence. "Mikey, surely by now you've learned that there are always exceptions to every rule." Brian quickly flashed on an image of Justin as he said this because he was finally figuring this out himself. 

 

Michael, also thinking about Justin, to Brian's comment sulkily asked. "So who are you going out with?" 

 

"I don't think you've ever met him, his name is Tristan and for now, that's all you need to know." Brian found a new shirt and began to remove the one he had on. 

 

"Brian!" Michael began. 

 

Brian cut Michael off. "Bye Mikey. I need to finish getting ready." 

 

With that, Brian hung up the phone and finished getting ready, satisfied that he had picked the right outfit finally. 

 

Just as he was doing a final check of his hair, the buzzer announced someone was downstairs. Brian laughed when he jumped at the sound and then scowled at his reflection. "What are you, a nelly bottom!? Get a grip." 

 

Walking over to the buzzer, he told the person to come on up and released the door. Giving himself a final look over, he decided he looked good enough. 

 

At the knock on his door, he opened it to show a smiling Tristan. Brian couldn't help but smile back. "Would you like to come in for a drink?" 

 

Tristan stepped into the loft and looked around. "No thanks. We really need to get going. I managed to get us a reservation at this little Korean restaurant I've been wanting to try. I hope that's okay." 

 

Brian nodded and grabbed his jacket, surprised when there wasn't a comment about his loft. "Yeah, that's fine." 

 

Taking the stairs and then walking outside, Brian looked around nervously before heading toward his jeep. 

 

Tristan stopped, smiled, and shook his head. "Uh, Brian? My car is this way." 

 

Brian stopped before turning back. "I usually drive." 

 

As he joined Tristan at his car, Tristan said. "Maybe it's time you let someone else drive." 

 

Brian searched Tristan's face to see if he was meaning something else but only saw a set of green eyes that met his with an openness that he had found rarely in his life. Nodding, he climbed in the car. 

 

Tristan drove and tried to think of something to say. Finally, he opted for talking about where they were going. "So, have you ever been to Mr. Mee's?" 

 

Brian nodded again. "Once or twice." 

 

Tristan did a mental sigh. This was going to be harder then he had thought. "Well? Is it any good or should we look for someplace else to eat?" 

 

Brian turned and laughed a little. "It's good if you like kemchi. That's really about the only thing they have that is authentic. Everything else has been Americanized but it is good." 

 

"Oh." Tristan said a little disappointedly. "I really was hoping for something a little more authentic." 

 

Brian thought for a moment. "Do you care what ethnic as long as it's authentic?" 

 

Tristan shook his head. "No, but you'll have to tell me how to get there." 

 

Brian took out his cell phone and placed a quick call. "Hey Frankie, it's Brian. Do you think you could fit two more in tonight? You can? Great! We'll be there in about twenty minutes. Thanks." Turning to Tristan he said. "At the next light take a left." 

 

Tristan followed Brian's directions but after about ten minutes, he asked. "So are you going to tell me where we're going?" 

 

Brian grinned. "It's a little hole in the wall called 'Rosa's, and they make the best authentic Mexican food I've ever tasted." 

 

Tristan nodded and continued to follow Brian's directions. "I'll take your word for it." 

 

Minutes later, they pulled into a busy parking lot of what looked to be a rundown building. "Jeez Brian. If the parking lot is any indication, they're making money. Why don't they remodel?" 

 

Brian laughed as they walked into the building. "Rosa says if they did that, then everyone would want to come. This way it stays with just friends and family, and the few who stumble upon it soon join them." 

 

Tristan nodded his understanding when an over weight, grey haired, woman cried out. "Brian!" 

 

As she moved toward them, she threw out her arms and embraced Brian in a bear hug. "It has been awhile! When Frankie told me you were coming, I couldn't believe it. But here you are. So, who is this handsome fellow?" 

 

"Rosa, this is Tristan, Tristan meet Rosa." Brian said with a grin. 

 

Tristan blushed as Rosa looked him over. "You are both too skinny. It's good you came here. I'll put some meat on those bones. Now come, come! Let's get you seated." 

 

Tristan and Brian sat down, ordered, and in between visits from Rosa, got to know each other a little better. 

 

Tristan didn't hide anything, but as he talked, Brian found himself liking and respecting him more and more. 

 

Brian on the other hand, had a hard time telling Tristan anything. Finally, Tristan looked at him and said. "Look Brian, I know that your a very private person. I also know what I've heard about you around town both professionally and personally. So if it'll help any, why don't we start there. I'll tell you what I've heard and you can tell me if they're true or not. You can elaborate on your answers only if you want to and if I get too personal, just tell me so and we'll move on. Okay?" 

 

Brian sighed, this was why he didn't do dates. He hated opening himself up to other people. Then again, he thought, maybe if he had, Justin... Brian quickly moved away from that thought. "Okay." 

 

Tristan watched Brian closely and if he hadn't been paying attention, looking for something, he wouldn't have seen the quick flash of pain in Brian's eyes before he'd answered. With that Tristan made the decision to make it easy for Brian and started with some very non-personal questions and slowly worked his way into the personal ones. 

 

Brian knew what Tristan was doing and was grateful. He answered all of Tristan's questions honestly and with as much explanation as possible. It was only as the questions got a bit more personal that he started to get more uncomfortable. Then came the questions he had been worried about. 

 

Tristan knew his next questions was going to be difficult for Brian. "I've heard all about your rules: No dates, No names, No second times, No boyfriends. 

 

Brian broke eye contact and played with the stem of his wine glass. "Well, there are always exceptions to every rule or else we wouldn't be here." 

 

Tristan watched Brian play with his glass. "Have there been many exceptions?" 

 

Brian stopped, looked up suddenly, and caught Tristan's eyes. He thought about saying something snide but finally opted for the truth. "This is my first real date, but you're not the first exception." 

 

Tristan nodded. "That's what I heard. Do you want to tell me about him?" 

 

Brian looked back down. "No, that's too personal." 

 

Tristan nodded again and raised his glass. "He must have hurt you pretty badly." He said right before he took a drink. 

 

Brian looked up quickly. "No more then I hurt him. I probably hurt him even more so." 

 

Tristan sat his glass back down and looked carefully at Brian. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me." 

 

Brian nodded in relief, glad that Tristan was going to drop it. 

 

Once their meal was paid, they rose to leave. Walking to the car, Tristan unlocked the door and opened it for Brian. "Thanks for bringing me here. You were right. The food was fantastic." 

 

Brian climbed in and waited for Tristan. Once he was in, he smiled. "You're welcome." 

 

Tristan smiled back. Starting the car, he began driving back to Brian's loft. The silence in the car was comfortable and filled by the quiet sounds coming from the turned down radio. Looking at the clock on his radio, Tristan saw that it was actually after midnight, and that he had really enjoyed himself. 

 

Pulling up outside Brian's building, Tristan put the car in park. "I had a good time tonight Brian." 

 

Brian looked at the door to his apartment building and back at Tristan. "Would you like to come up for a drink or something?" 

 

Tristan smiled. "Maybe next time. I have to get up early in the morning and do a walk through check of the building structure. We're getting inspected in a couple of days and I don't want any surprises." 

 

Brian nodded. "Okay, maybe next time." 

 

Brian got out of the car and walked to the door. Turning, he watched the car go down the street and shook his head. Did he really just agree to another date? 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Brian talked to Tristan over the next week and waited for him to ask him out again. The whole time he waited, he dealt with Michael and his constant questions and whining. 

 

Finally, the tension of the whole thing got to him while he was at the diner once again deflecting Michael, when he finally snapped. "Mikey, Jesus! I know you're my best friend, but this is no more your business than what went on between Justin and me was. So be the best friend that you keep reminding me you are, and quit acting like my mother or a jealous lover!" 

 

With that he threw down his napkin, tossed some bills on the table and stormed out of the diner, leaving a stunned and silent crowd in his wake. 

 

Debbie walked up to the boys' table as she watched Brian leave. "Well, it's about time." 

 

"Ma!" Michael looked at his mother in hurt shock. 

 

"He's right Michael, it's time to grow up. Do you honestly tell him every personal aspect of your life?" Debbie asked, fixing her son with a hard stare. 

 

Michael squirmed and looked down at his plate. "No." 

 

Debbie nodded. "That's what I thought. Then why do you expect him to tell you everything? Why isn't he allowed to keep some things to himself? When he's ready to tell you something, he will and if he doesn't, then leave it alone. Until then, stay out of it." 

 

Brian was finally tired of waiting for Tristan to ask him out again. Nervously, he dialed the number to Tristan's office. 

 

When Tristan answered, Brian thought about making it a business call as he felt he must be crazy for doing this. However, taking a deep breath, he went on as planned before he could back out. 

 

"Tristan, Brian. I was wondering what you were doing tonight?" 

 

Tristan grimaced, he'd been waiting for this call from Brian but it couldn't have come at a worse time. "Hi Brian. Uh, the boss is in town looking over everything, so I'm entertaining." 

 

Brian felt relieved but also disappointed. "Oh, okay. How long is he in town?" 

 

Tristan sighed. "They flew in yesterday and will be flying out tomorrow." 

 

Brian felt his heartbeat pick up. "Okay, well, how about tomorrow night I take you out to a nice relaxing dinner?" 

 

Tristan smiled over the fact that Brian hadn't taken the out that he had been provided. "That sounds great. What time?" 

 

Brian thought about it for a moment. "How about I pick you up at 7:00 at your place." 

 

"That's fine, gives me time to shower and change. Care to tell me where we're going?" Tristan asked. 

 

Brian smiled. "A little Italian place I know. Casual dress." 

 

"Ummm, great! I can't wait. I'll see you tomorrow at 7:00. Oh! Let me give you my address." Tristan said, looking forward to tomorrow night. 

 

Brian wrote down the address even though he already had it. Putting down the phone, he smiled. 

 

The next night at promptly 7:00, Brian knocked on Tristan's door. When Tristan opened it, Brian walked in and looked around the fairly impersonal apartment. Turning to Tristan, Brian cocked his eyebrow. 

 

Tristan shrugged. "The company owns the condo, so it's kind of hard to make it your own. Would you like a drink or do we need to head out?" 

 

Brian took in the hotel like atmosphere. "Let's go on." 

 

Tristan grabbed his jacket as Brian opened the door. In the elevator down, Brian thought about how tired Tristan looked, and knew that the night wasn't going to end as he had planned. 

 

Brian unlocked and opened the passenger door before moving to his own. 

 

Once they were on their way, Tristan asked. "So where are we going tonight?" 

 

Brian smiled. "A little place called Nino's. They have some of the best Italian food around." 

 

Tristan smiled back. "Oh good. Of course this means I'll have to work out a bit harder the next couple of days." 

 

Brian laughed. "I know what you mean. Do you belong to a gym? If you don't, you could join me at mine to check it out. I highly recommend it." 

 

Tristan smiled. "That would be great. I've just been going to the YMCA. What time tomorrow and where?" 

 

Brian made a quick decision. "How about I pick you up around nine?" 

 

Tristan smiled. "That's great. I'm glad tomorrow is Saturday. I can certainly use the day off. This has been a hell of a week. 

 

They arrived at the restaurant and were quickly seated and their orders placed. It wasn't until Tristan yawned that they even realized that they had been sitting there talking for almost three hours, and that their table was one of just a few left occupied. 

 

Brian and Tristan left the restaurant and strolled back to the car. Brian opened the door for Tristan before walking around to his side. As he climbed into the jeep, he noticed Tristan try to stifle another yawn and just had to comment. "I know I don't date much but I didn't think the evening was 'that' bad." 

 

Tristan turned to Brian quickly to assure him that the evening had been great and he was sorry but stopped when he saw the huge grin on Brian's face. "Quit fishing. You know I've had a good time tonight." 

 

Brian continued to smile as he drove. "I know, but when you were fighting that yawn, I just had to say something. Especially since I've been watching you fight them off for awhile." 

 

Tristan grinned sheepishly. "I guess I didn't do too good a job at hiding them then. I was hoping you hadn't noticed. I'm sorry Brian, it's just that I'm so tired. While Dwyer was here, I was so busy that I didn't get much sleep, and to top it all off, he left here with a bunch of changes that I've got to spend some time working in along with everything else I didn't get done because he was here." 

 

Brian pulled up in front of Tristan's building. "I know, and that's why I'm bringing you home instead of taking to out dancing or Woody's or even back to my loft. You go and get a decent night sleep and I'll see you in the morning at nine." 

 

Tristan laughed. "What makes you think that I'd have gone back to your loft?" 

 

Brian smiled and said honestly. "Can you think of a better way to end a great evening?" 

 

Tristan shook his head as he laughed. "I'll see you in the morning." 

 

As he turned to get out of the car, he stopped. Turning quickly back around he leaned over and kissed a surprised Brian. 

 

Before Brian had a chance to make the kiss deeper, Tristan pulled away and climbed out of the car. Brian smiled as Tristan turned and waved before he walked in the door. 

 

Putting the car into gear, he drove toward home. As he drove, he thought about the two dates he had had with Tristan and smiled as he licked his lips, still tasting Tristan there. Maybe this dating business wasn't so bad after all he thought as he found himself looking forward to his morning with Tristan.


	12. Glitter and Shine

Brian was sitting in his office staring at, but not seeing his computer screen. He was thinking about Tristan and Justin. He loved Justin and knew that he was just as much to blame for their breakup if not more, as Justin. Then there was Tristan. He couldn't help but smile when he thought about him. He wouldn't say that he loved him but he felt that he could, if he wasn't already working on it. What he was trying to figure out, was why he was willing to do things with and for Tristan that he hadn't with Justin. 

 

Finally with a sigh he decided to be honest with himself. It was because of Justin. Justin left because Brian wouldn't compromise, wouldn't treat him as a partner even though that was what he was. 

 

Brian sighed again. Since he was being so honest with himself, he had to admit, he was trying to have his cake and eat it too. That and the fact that he had been scared of taking a chance, scared of being hurt, scared that he would fail. So deep down inside he decided from the beginning that he would do everything he could to keep himself safe but it hadn't worked. He had fallen in love regardless of how often he had told himself and everyone else that he didn't believe in it. He's also ended up still being hurt and he'd hurt Justin as well. 

 

So what made him want to try again? He liked Tristan, a lot. He respected him and was respected by him. Both of these aspects he shared with Justin but Tristan called him on his shit like Justin used to do before the bashing. It was after the bashing that Justin quit doing it and started going along with everything Brian said. That is until he couldn't take it anymore. 

 

So personality wise, Tristan and Justin were a lot alike, except that Tristan was closer in age and in a business that Brian could relate to. So was that the only reason, the only difference? 

 

Brian thought about it for several minutes before he decided no. That wasn't it. It was because he wanted to prove to himself that he could have a relationship, that he could make it work. Then he'd know, he'd know if he and Justin could have worked, if he'd only tried. 

 

Just then, his intercom buzzed bringing him out of his thought. "Yes." 

 

"Brian, Tristan is here to see you." Cynthia said. 

 

Brian smiled. "Send him in." 

 

Tristan walked in and Brian noticed that he still looked tired. "Jeez Tristan, didn't you rest any this weekend?" 

 

Tristan smiled tiredly. "Not really. After I left you at the gym, I pretty much worked the rest of Saturday and Sunday. I did manage to get almost caught up with everything I had to put off due to Dwyer being here." 

 

Brian smiled. "Why don't you come over tonight. We'll order take out and watch a movie." 

 

Tristan smiled back. "What's the movie?" 

 

Brian laughed. "You pick up the movie, I'll order dinner." 

 

Tristan nodded. "Sounds good. What time?" 

 

"Whenever you get done. I've got a meeting at four that I'm hoping will be done by five. I should be done with everything here by six." Brian said thinking about his schedule. 

 

Tristan nodded. "Okay, so how about I show up around seven. That'll give me time to get cleaned up." 

 

"Seven it is. Now for the reason you really showed up here today. What's up?" Brian said back to business and quickly pulling up the Dwyer files on his computer. 

 

The next half an hour was spent discussing possible changes to the campaign. After Tristan left, Brian spent the rest of the day catching up on work that he should have been doing instead of thinking about his love life. 

 

At 6:45 Brian slammed into his loft cursing the idiots that seemed to be coming out of the woodwork all afternoon. Because of them, he was now running late. Quickly he turned on his shower and stripped. He had planned to already have the food here by the time Tristan got here but now he was going to be lucky to get a halfway decent shower. 

 

Brian was drying off when he heard the buzzer going off. Brian stepped out of the bathroom and went to the door and buzzed it open. Going back into the bedroom, he tossed the towel back into the bathroom and grabbed a pair of jeans. He had just gotten them on when the knock came. Walking to get the door, he managed to get all but the top button done by the time he got there. 

 

Opening the door, he let Tristan in. "Sorry, I haven't had a chance to order yet. There was a screw up at the office…" 

 

Tristan did everything he could to keep his jaw from dropping when Brian opened the door. Swallowing hard, he brushed past him to get inside. Turning, he continued to take in the wet hair, and the skin still glistening with water from his shower. He also noticed the top button undone and the bare feet and felt himself grow hard. He had managed to keep from jumping Brian's bones for their dates, but tonight, tonight felt different. 

 

When Brian turned from shutting the door, Tristan made his move. Quickly he pushed Brian up against the door and silenced Brian with a hard, lust filled kiss. When he finally released Brian's mouth he said. "I hear one of your rules is that you don't fuck your friends. Are we friend Brian?" 

 

Brian nodded as he licked his lips and whispered. "Yes." 

 

Tristan nodded then asked. "Are we going to fuck tonight?" 

 

Brian reached up with both hands, cupped Tristan's face and pulled him in for another kiss. Before he kissed him though, he all but growled. "Hell yes!" 

 

Brian immediately switched their positions and latched onto Tristan's mouth hungrily. They both were hard and Brian couldn't hold back his groan as one of Tristan's hands cupped and squeezed him through his jeans. 

 

Brian, impatient to feel skin, ripped open Tristan's shirt, sending buttons flying in all directions. Brian then began to explore all the different planes of Tristan's chest and stomach. Then he raked his nails over the hard nubs of his nipples, Tristan groaned into the kiss which went straight to Brian's already hard cock. 

 

Tristan meanwhile had quickly explored Brian's chest and was now quickly working on getting the rest of Brian's jean undone. Once he had that accomplished, he reached inside, cupped Brian's balls and gave another squeeze before he moved his hand to wrap around his cock. 

 

When Brian mimicked Tristan, Tristan broke off the kiss with a gasp and moaned. "Brian, I'm about to explode, so if we're going to fuck, we better get to it." 

 

Brian searched Tristan's face and smiled, but not in his usual smirky way. Grabbed Tristan by the hand, he pulled him up to the bedroom. Quickly, he pushed Tristan down on the bed and dropped his jeans to the floor. Tristan just as quickly scooted out of his jeans as well. 

 

Brian walked over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom and the lube. When he looked back at Tristan, it was to find him already on his hands and knees. At the sight, Brian let out a little laugh. "In a hurry are we?" 

 

Tristan looked over his shoulder at Brian with a laugh. "Hell yes!" 

 

Brian quickly sheathed his cock and lubed it as he climbed up onto the bed. Kneeling, he circled Tristan's waiting hole with one of his slick fingers. 

 

"Brian!" Tristan said only to have it end in a gasp as he slammed his finger all the way in. Brian quickly moved it in and out a couple of times before adding another finger. He watched as Tristan moved to fuck himself on his fingers. Brian felt himself grow even harder at this vision and only allowed it to happen a few times before he removed his fingers. He quickly replaced them with the head of his cock before Tristan could complain at the loss. He grabbed onto Tristan's hips as he began to ease his way inside, but Tristan wanted none of it and tried to push back hard so he could take him all at once. 

 

Brian groaned as Tristan squeezed him tight. Catching his breath, he leaned across Tristan's back and placed a kiss on his shoulder. Wanting more, he got back up and pulled Tristan up so that they were both on their knees, his arm across his chest so they were flush together with his cock still buried deep in Tristan's ass. Claiming Tristan's mouth, he began a series of short, shallow thrusts. 

 

Tristan moaned and reached back to still Brian's movements. Breaking off the kiss when he finally needed air, he gasped. "Give me a moment. It's been awhile." 

 

Brian smiled as he kissed Tristan's shoulder. "That's okay. We have all night." 

 

Turning Tristan's face so he could kiss him again, Brian reached around with his other hand and slowly began to pump Tristan's hard, leaking cock. 

 

Tristan groaned again into the kiss. He was in sensory overload and knew that he couldn't last. Digging his fingers into Brian's ass, he broke off the kiss with a cry and shot his load all over Brian's hand and sheets. Laying his head back on Brian's shoulder, he waited for the waves of pleasure to recede. 

 

Brian tightened his hold on Tristan as he came, however he wasn't able to hold back his own approaching orgasm when Tristan's orgasm pulsed hard and tight around his cock. 

 

Tristan had only a few moments before Brian pushed him back down on his hands and knees and began to thrust with hard deep strokes as he came as well. 

 

Tristan, with Brian leaning on his back, collapsed, still trying to get his breath back. Brian continued to lay on him for a few moments before rolling off and disposing of the condom. 

 

Tristan rolled over and looked at him. When Brian looked back, Tristan could see the nervousness and fear there. "So, what now?" 

 

Brian sighed, closed his eyes but when he opened them back up, Tristan could see that while both were still there, so was something else. "Tristan, I've only had one relationship in my life and I sucked at it. I fought it every step of the way and eventually it fell apart. I don't know if I can do it again, I can't promise that I won't fuck up but I'd like to try." 

 

Tristan hoped he had understood Brian correctly. "Try what?" 

 

Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You and me, a relationship." 

 

When he opened his eyes he saw a gentle smile on Tristan's face. "In other words, you want us to try and be lovers…" Tristan scooted closer to Brian. "boyfriends…" again he moved closer. "partners and so on?" 

 

Brian nodded. "Yeah, all of the above. Just don't expect too much romance. I'm still trying to figure that out and I'm not very good at it." 

 

Tristan now moved until he was flush up against Brian and they were now laying face to face. "Not a problem. Just watch me." 

 

With that he leaned over and placed a soft, tender kiss on Brian's lips. When he leaned back away from Brian he said. "I'd love to be your all of the above." 

 

This time around they made love slowly and tenderly until their bodies demanded more. 

 

******************************************************************************************* 

 

The next day, Brian took Tristan with him to the diner for dinner before they headed over to Woody's. Standing outside the door, he looked at him a bit nervously. "Are you sure about this?" 

 

Tristan laughed. "They're your family Brian. Relax. Everything is going to be fine." 

 

Brian nodded and grabbed a quick kiss and opened the door. Tristan walked in first and stopped as he took in the busy scene before him. Brian came in behind him and pointed to the two booths in the back. "Over there." 

 

Together they walked in and stopped in front of Brian's friends. Brian looked at everyone. "Hey. This is Tristan…my…" 

 

Tristan had been shaking hands with some of the guys when he heard Brian falter. Brian saw Tristan pause. When Tristan turned his head and looked at him, he saw the understanding in his eyes and knew that he could do it. "He's…he's my boyfriend." 

 

The entire diner went quiet and Debbie's "holy shit" was the only thing to be heard. Brian ignored everyone and directed Tristan into the empty seat across from Lindsey just as Mel brought Gus out of the bathroom. Sliding into the seat next to Lindsey she handed an excited Gus to Brian when he hollered "Daddy!" 

 

"Hey Sonny boy!" Brian accepted a wet kiss from Gus, continuing to ignore the rest of the diner and his friends. 

 

Mel, however, noticed that everyone was looking their way and the diner was unusually quite. "What's going on?" 

 

Lindsey cleared her throat. "Uh Mel, this is Tristan...Brian's new boyfriend." 

 

"What!?" Mel said as she turned to look at Tristan. "Well, at least he's more the right age." 

 

While Lindsey was admonishing Mel, Brian had a problem of his own to deal with. Gus heard Lindsey say that Tristan was Brian's boyfriend, looked over at Tristan and was shaking his head no. "No…Jus!" 

 

Brian sighed, he hadn't thought that Gus was be a problem but should have known since Justin had stayed in contact with him. "Gus, this is Tristan. He's someone special to me." 

 

Gus looked at Tristan and got a stubborn look on his face and stuck out his lip in defiance. "No! Jusin! Jusin!" 

 

Brian looked to Linds for help. Knowing that Brian was out of his depth, she reached over and took Gus from Brian. "I think it's time for us to head home. Someone seems to be getting a little grouchy and should be getting ready for bed." 

 

Brian stood to give Lindsey and Gus a kiss. Gus wouldn't have anything to do with him and turned away from him, refusing to accept or give Brian a kiss. Lindsey looked at Brian apologetically and with Mel and Gus left the diner. 

 

Brian looked at how suddenly everyone was busy looking somewhere else and the conversation suddenly began again. Brian turned and sat back down next to Tristan who looked at Brian with concern and understanding. "It's okay Brian. It's just going to take a little bit of time for everyone to get used to me and us." 

 

Brian nodded. "I know. So lets eat. Do you still want to go to Woody's?" 

 

Tristan thought about it. "Well, it's really up to you. If you'd rather go home, we can do that instead. Do Woody's another night." 

 

Looking deep into Tristan's eyes, he saw that he was telling the truth, that he didn't care. Just bringing him to the diner and introducing him to everyone as his boyfriend had been enough. He was willing to give Brian all the time he needed. Smiling at Tristan he said. "Let's eat, and go have a couple of drinks at Woody's then head home. Will you stay the night?" 

 

Tristan smiled back. "Sounds good to me and yes, I'll stay the night. I have a change of clothes back in my car." 

 

******************************************************************************************* 

 

Two weeks later 

 

Brian looked over at Tristan sleeping. Getting up, he went to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. Looking around, he saw all the things that belonged to Tristan sitting around and made the decision that he had been thinking about. 

 

Crawling back in bed, he kissed Tristan awake. "Hey, I've been thinking." 

 

Tristan yawned. "Yeah, about what?" 

 

Brian smiled. "Oh about how much of your stuff is already here, and since you're over here every night anyway, that you should move in." 

 

Tristan, now wide awake, looked at Brian in surprise. "Brian? Are you sure? I mean, it's kind of sudden. We've only been together a couple of weeks." 

 

Brian sighed. "Haven't you learned by now that I mean what I say? I know it's been only a couple of weeks, but I like having you here when I go to sleep, and I like having you here when I get up in the morning. I want you here. You get it?" 

 

Tristan smiled. "Yeah, I get it. So, you going to help me pack up my stuff and bring it over?" 

 

Brian groaned. "You mean it isn't all already here?" 

 

Tristan pounced on top of Brian grabbing his arms so that he was pinned down. "I'm going to get you for that." 

 

Brian laughed. "Oh I hope so." 

 

Tristan leaned down and kissed him. When he raised himself back up Brian said softly. "How about tomorrow afternoon? I'll get off from work early, come home, change and meet you back at your place around three. Hopefully we can have you all moved in here in time for dinner." 

 

Tristan whispered his answer as he bent down for another kiss. "That sounds great to me." 

 

No more was said as their passions began to grow stronger. The next day everyone was surprised to find that Tristan had moved in to Brian's loft, the locks changed as well as the code. This time he wasn't taking any chances. 

 

******************************************************************************************* 

 

Three days later 

Justin had been receiving emails for the past couple of weeks from all of the family, telling him about Brian and his new boyfriend, Tristan. The latest from Mikey however was the most disturbing by far. It seemed that Tristan had moved in with Brian, and to top it off, Mikey had included a picture of the happy couple in his email. 

 

Justin knew he had no right for the anger and hurt he was feeling but couldn't help it. He had been short and surly with Quinn ever since he found out about Tristan, and hated that he was taking it out on him. After the picture appeared, he had told Quinn that he needed to take a long walk and not to wait up for him. 

 

Justin walked for a long time, trying to understand why he was feeling the way he was. He loved Quinn, he knew he did, but he realized that he still loved Brian as well. He finally admitted to himself that he was angry and hurt, because Brian had moved on with someone else and that he was willing to do things for him that he hadn't for them. But then again, maybe he would have, if Justin had gone home with Brian when he had come to Edinburgh. Justin knew that he had hurt Brian and not just once but twice. It was he that had broken all the rules that he had created, not Brian. It was he that decided that he needed the words, even though Brian had shown him time and time again that he loved him. He knew that Brian had been hurt when he found out about Quinn, but had been willing to move on and continue to be in his life, to try and be his friend. Could he in all honesty not try and do the same? 

 

Justin realized that while he had been walking and thinking, he had also been crying. Crying for what he had lost, for what he had given up on. By the time he had come to the realization of his problem, and been honest with himself, he realized that he also felt better. He knew now that he could offer Brian the same that he had been offering him. Drawing in a deep and shaky breath, he smiled and made his way back home to the man he was sure was waiting for him.


	13. Glitter and Shine

One Year Later 

 

"That was your decision to make before you met me, but now we've been together for a year and I can't believe that you're even asking me this. You know how I feel about my home, my family, and how important it is to me to finish my schooling here. I don't see why you can't stay here!" Quinn shouted, angrily cleaning his brushes. 

 

Justin sighed and tried not to let his own anger get to him. "Quinn, I can't! I've been away from my home for two years now. I'm graduating in less than a week and I want to go home. I need to go home. PIFA is a great school and I know that you can get in. You just won't try." 

 

It was the same thing he had been saying to Quinn for the past two weeks. Quinn, letting his anger get the best of him, threw down the brushes he had been cleaning and turned to face Justin. "I don't see why I have to move. You obviously don't feel the same way about your family as I do mine. I mean after all, you chose to leave and apply here for school. You yourself told me that you needed to get away. Well I don't feel that way. I don't feel the need to pack up and leave everyone and everything that I know and love." 

 

Justin and Quinn both knew they weren't getting anywhere. Quinn turned back to cleaning his brushes and Justin with a sigh went back to his packing. He had already decided that this was going to be the last time they had this argument and he was thankful that at least this time Quinn hadn't thrown the "If you loved me" statement in this time. 

 

When Justin had finished the box he was packing, he walked back into the living area to find Quinn still standing at the sink, his brushes forgotten, crying. When he heard Justin come into the room he turned to him. "This is it, isn't it? When you leave here in a few days, you won't be coming back will you?" 

 

Justin shook his head no. "I think we both know that. This morning, I went down and put the lease in your name. Do you want me to go stay with Bruce and Arden till I leave?" 

 

This time it was Quinn who shook his head no. "No, I want what little time I have left with you. Without the fights, anger, and resentments that have been building up over the past couple of weeks. I love you so much Justin Taylor." 

 

Justin wrapped Quinn into his arms and cried with him. "I want that too and I love you." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin graduated at the top of his class, and beamed with pride out at his mom, sister, Bruce, Arden, and Quinn. He had already shipped most of his things to Pittsburgh, and what little was left would go on the plane with him and his family. They were going to Bruce and Arden's house to celebrate, and then the next day they would be on a plane for Pittsburgh. Justin was nervous. 

 

That night, Justin and Quinn made sweet, sad love and hot desperate sex for the last time. In the wee hours of the morning, they whispered the words of love they both so needed to hear before they fell asleep. 

 

The next morning saw a very subdued party at the airport. Bruce, Arden, and Quinn had all come to say goodbye. Justin looked over the people who had been his family for almost two years and felt his eyes well up with tears again. 

 

"Justin, honey, come on. They're getting ready to start the boarding calls for our flight." Jennifer said knowing how hard this was for her son. 

 

Walking over to Bruce and Arden, she hugged them tightly to her. "Thank you. Thank you so much for caring and loving my son." 

 

Bruce and Arden hugged her back. "You're welcome. He is easy to love." Arden said, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

 

"Thank you for sharing him with us." Bruce whispered back. 

 

Jennifer stepped back and switched with her son. Hugging Quinn, she didn't quite know what to say. "You take care of yourself. If you ever come to the states please come and see us." 

 

Quinn nodded, hugging her back. He too didn't know what to say. "I will." 

 

Both knew that they would probably never see each other again. 

 

Meanwhile, Justin was repeatedly hugging Bruce and Arden. He knew that it was going to be hard saying goodbye to these people who had become family to him, but he hadn't realized it was going to be this hard. Tears streaming down his face, he hugged them both hard to him. 

 

"Thank you, thank you so much for everything. I just don't know where to begin. You've done so much for me. I'll never forget it." Justin whispered. "Thank you for trusting and believing in me." 

 

Bruce and Arden hugged him back equally hard. Arden was crying so hard that she couldn't say a thing but hold on. Bruce meanwhile, didn't care who saw his tears, hugged and whispered back. "Thank you, Justin. Thank you for trusting us as well. We love you and you better keep in contact with us or I'm going to come over there and give you a proper set to. You understand?" 

 

Justin nodded and with a final hug and kiss turned to Quinn. Pulling Quinn into a tight hug they cried together for a bit before Jennifer reminded them of the boarding calls. 

 

Justin placed his hands on either side of Quinn's face and kissed him tenderly through their tears. "I love you and you know where to find me if you change your mind." 

 

Quinn nodded. "Yeah, and the same goes for you." 

 

Justin nodded and pulled Quinn over to Arden and Bruce. "Take care of him for me, okay?" 

 

Bruce and Arden nodded. Justin kissed Quinn one more time as he heard Molly whine about needing to get on the plane and turned and walked toward his mom and sister. As they walked through security, he looked back one last time toward the three people who over the past two years had become so important to him. Seeing them still watching, he tried to smile and wave, before turning and going to the gate to board his plane. Even though he knew he could no longer see them, he looked back again before walking through the doorway that would lead him home. 

 

Justin tried to keep from crying as he sat down next to his mom. He had been offered the window seat but refused, sitting in aisle seat instead. 

 

Worriedly, Jennifer watched him, scared that he would change his mind and get off the place. As the plane began to pull away from the gate, she did a small sigh of relief and felt the guilt wash over her for feeling relieved. 

 

As the plane began to take off, Justin quietly began to sob but when Jennifer tried to put her arm around her heartbroken son, he pulled back and looked at her. "I'm not a child mom, so please don't think you can comfort me like one. You can't kiss this and make it all better for me." 

 

Jennifer pulled her arm back and reached for her purse. Pulling out a pack of travel size tissues, she handed them to Justin. "I know Justin. You're a grown man now but you'll always be my little boy, especially in my heart. It's just going to take me a little bit of time to remember that and learn not to treat you as one." 

 

Justin nodded and accepted his mother's hand allowing her to offer that bit of comfort as the plane began its journey back to the states. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That same week in Pittsburg… 

 

"Brian, I've already explained this to you several times. This is what I've been working for since I joined Dwyers. I've got to do this." Tristan sighed as he continued looking over some papers he had brought home with him. 

 

Brian sat across from him staring at the man who had been his lover and partner for almost a year. "I thought we were good, that…that you loved me." 

 

Tristan looked up and set down his papers with a sigh. "Brian, yes we are good, and you know I love but do you love me? I mean really love me? I love you enough to stay, but do you love me enough to go?" 

 

Brian met Tristan's eyes. "You know I can't go. I'm a partner in the company and then there's Gus. I don't want to leave him." 

 

Looking down at his hands, his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "You know I…I care about you." 

 

Tristan sighed again and rubbed his face. "Yes Brian, I know you do and in your way it is love but as much as I wish it was enough to last the rest of our lives, we both know it isn't. If I thought it was, I'd stay but I don't and I can't." 

 

Brian looked up and saw the truth in Tristan's eyes. It was one of the things he liked about him. "I…" Brian closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them he slumped back in his chair. "When do you leave?" 

 

Tristan looked back down at the papers he had set down. "The end of the week, I already sent my signed contract to them." 

 

Brian stood up and walked toward the kitchen. Brian stopped near the island and looked over his should sadly. "Does it mean anything that I don't want you to go?" 

 

Tristan sighed and stood. "More then you know but its not enough. I'm sorry, Brian." 

 

Brian nodded. "So this is it then." 

 

Tristan walked over and stood in front of Brian. "Yeah, it is, but at least now you know that you can have a relationship, that you can do it. Maybe now you and Justin can have another chance." 

 

Brian looked up at Tristan in shock. "Is that what this is all about? You're doing this just because Justin is coming home?!" 

 

Tristan sighed. "It's part of it. Brian, let me finish before you say anything. I know that you love me, but you never really stopped loving Justin. I mean, look at this wall." 

 

Brian looked over at the wall where the naked man used to hang. "What about it? It's pictures of my family, my friends." 

 

Tristan nodded. "Yes, but they're all drawn by Justin, and don't think that I don't know about the photos that you've taken from the girls, or the sketch books that you still have of his. I think I've always known that I was a test. You needed to see if you could be in a relationship so that when Justin came home, you'd be ready." 

 

Brian shook his head. "Tristan, that's not true. When we started dating, Justin was seeing someone else. I started dating you because of you, not Justin." 

 

Tristan wrapped his arms around Brian. "I know, and over time, I thought that the longer we were together the more you'd grow to love me, and stop loving Justin, but you haven't. As I've said, I know you love me, but with Justin coming home, how long before you started to feel torn? You know, if it was just the drawings of the family and the Rage comics, I'd feel that I might stand a chance. I'd stay and fight for you, but when I found the other stuff, I knew that eventually I'd lose. That's why it's better that I go now." 

 

Brian hugged Tristan tightly. "I'm going to miss you." 

 

Tristan nodded and squeezed Brian tighter. "I'm going to miss you too." 

 

Brian leaned back and looked into the glistening eyes of his lover. Slowly he placed a gentle kiss on Tristan's lips before he released his hold on him and pulled him into the bedroom where they made love through the night. 

 

The next day after work, began the packing of Tristan's things. Brian began by helping, but after an hour, couldn't stand it and left Tristan to do it alone. While he hadn't stopped going to clubs, he had cut back and as for the tricking, it was so seldom and discreetly done that most people assumed that he had stopped. That night when he got home, he smelled of scotch and Tristan had his hands full getting him into bed before he passed out. 

 

The following two days saw Tristan finishing his packing and trying to act as if nothing was different between him and Brian. Brian however was beginning to retreat back behind his walls to hide the pain he was feeling. While everything was the same in bed, out of it he began to pull farther and farther away from Tristan. 

 

The last night Tristan was in town, they had gone to Debbie's for a farewell family dinner before heading back to the loft. The moving van had been there that day and Brian looked around the loft noticing how empty it now seemed. Without a word or look at Tristan, Brian walked into the bedroom and began to remove his clothes. Tristan sighed and walked up and hugged him from behind, stopping his movements. "Brian stop." 

 

Brian didn't move but didn't say anything as well. Tristan moved around so that he was facing Brian. "Don't do this." 

 

Brian refused to meet Tristan's eyes. "Don't do what." 

 

Tristan placed his hand on Brian's face forcing him to meet his eyes. "You know what. Don't go back behind your walls. You've worked hard to overcome them. Promise me that you won't go back." 

 

Brian's couldn't keep the sadness from his eyes or fight the hurt that he was feeling any longer. Finally returning Tristan's embrace he said, "Peter Pan had to grow up sometime. I can't promise that I won't, but I'll try not to." 

 

Tristan leaned in for a tender kiss. After making love slowly one last time, they did nothing more than hold each other as they thought about the changes that were happening in their lives. 

 

The next morning, Tristan didn't wake Brian, as they hadn't fallen asleep until almost dawn. Rising, he showered, cried, dressed and with a tender kiss, left the loft for the last time. He dropped his keys in the mailbox, and before climbing into the cab that was waiting to take him to the airport, he looked up at the windows that had been his home for the past year. Looking down at him was Brian. Nodding, Tristan turned and climbed in. Within moments, the cab was gone. 

 

Brian continued to look out the window hoping that Tristan would change his mind and he'd see the cab come back down the street. After about fifteen minutes, he knew that it wasn't going to happen. Taking a deep but shaky breath, Brian began his preparations for another work day. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next month had the members of the family watching as both Justin and Brian tried to come out from behind their walls. Brian after about a month began to visit the clubs and was once again living up to his title of "Stud of Liberty Avenue", but the cruel asshole that he used to be was not often seen. Justin meanwhile was getting his life back by looking for a place to live and continued to work on 'Rage'. Lindsey had heard that another gallery in the city was looking for a manager, and after giving him the number, he had an interview all lined up. He hoped that the gallery job came through so that he could continue to work on his art and maybe one day get some of it shown. 

 

Finally the family began to relax as they realized that while neither man seemed happy, they were moving on with their lives. While neither man went out of their way to avoid everyone, the business of their lives did keep them from running into each other, and away from full blown, well intentioned, family meetings. 

 

Justin got the job at the art gallery and found an apartment that allowed him to get out from under the watchful eye of his mother. While she still worried about the sadness that had surrounded him, it seemed to slowly disappear as he buried himself in his job, art, and apartment. Debbie saw him on the odd occasion that he happened to stop in for lunch. Michael saw him about once every two weeks for 'Rage'. The people who saw him the most were Lindsey, Mel, and Gus. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a month later, Justin was working on a particular painting and had finally finished it. Standing back, he smiled with satisfaction as he looked it over. Reaching over, he turned on the radio as he began to clean up his supplies. Before long, he was singing and dancing to the music as he finished. Catching a glimpse of himself reflected in a mirror, he laughed as he saw how much paint he'd gotten on himself. 

 

Stepping into the bathroom, he started the shower as he stripped. Once under the hot water, he began to scrub himself clean as he continued to hum, the song that was playing in his head. Once he felt that he was clean, he stepped out of the shower and began to dry off. Still humming, he looked for some clothes to put on and stopped. He realized that he didn't want to stay home. He wanted to go out and dance. For the first time in awhile, he was feeling good again, even happy in a way he hadn't since he had come home, and damn if he didn't feel like getting laid. 

 

Looking over his clothes, he realized that he didn't have much in the way of club clothes. Finally, he decided on a pair of his black jeans and a blue, long sleeve, silk shirt. Pulling on his boots once he was finished dressing; he grabbed his black leather jacket. Taking another look in the mirror, he decided that he really didn't look too bad. 

 

Justin stepped into Babylon, dropped off his coat and stepped into the main room. He smiled as the thump thump of the music and flashing lights surrounded him for the first time in over two years. Almost instantly he was cruised and asked to dance. Justin looked at the guy and shook his head no. He was no longer the young twink he had been when he had first began to come here. Now he was a man in his own right and would be the one doing the cruising. 

 

Stepping farther out into the room, he looked around until a man caught his eye. Working his way onto the floor, he walked right up to him, and stopped right in front of him with a smile. Looking him up and down, the man smiled back and began to dance with him. 

 

Justin dance several dances with him and a couple of other men that had moved around him, trying to get his attention, before breaking off and moving to the nearest bar to get a drink. Leaning over the bar, he order a drink, and as he took a sip, turned to look around the room. Just about then he heard an excited squeal and looked over to where Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Ben were walking toward him. 

 

"Oh baby, I can't believe your finally here! I've been trying to get you to come out with us for months now. What changed your mind?" Emmett said excitedly. 

 

Justin laughed as Emmett embraced him. "I don't know. I finished a painting I was working on, and when I got out of the shower, I just felt like coming to Babylon." 

 

Michael laughed, "He's young and single and felt like getting laid is more like it." 

 

"You're right." Justin laughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I see a likely prospect that needs my perusal." 

 

Justin left them shaking their heads as he approached a good-looking man, and after a quick word in his ear, began to dance with him. 

 

Ted shook his head sadly and sighed. "I guess he didn't get away from Brian quick enough after all." 

 

Emmett slapped Ted on the arm. "That wasn't a nice thing to say Teddy and you know it. They really did love each other. The time just wasn't right for them. Besides, look at what has happened over the past couple of years. They've both had other relationships." 

 

Michael shook his head as well. "Em's right Ted. Justin is a young man, and has the right to go on the prowl. That doesn't mean that he's like Brian." 

 

The three men looked over to where Justin had been dancing only to find him no longer there. Fifteen minutes later, Justin joined them back at the bar smiling. Once he ordered his drink, he relaxed against the bar and looked at the expressions on his friends faces. "What?" 

 

Emmett smiled and leaned next to him. "Well, how was he?" 

 

Ted shook his head and Michael laughed. Justin just continued to smile and took another drink. "Not bad." 

 

Justin looked back out into the crowd and didn't see the person coming up to the bar until he spoke. "How ya doing boys." 

 

Brian hadn't seen Justin standing there until he had come upon the guys. Brian looked Justin over and noticed all the changes. "Hello Sunshine. It's good to see you." 

 

Justin felt his heart drop and turned to the speaker. "Hey Brian. It's good to see you too. How have you been?" 

 

Brian smiled, he liked the man his sunshine had become so far. "Pretty good, and you?" 

 

Justin smiled back. "Jobs good, apartment is alright, and my painting is coming along, so I can't complain too much." 

 

Brian ordered a drink from the bar and looked around the room as he waited for it. He wasn't sure what to say to Justin but finally came up with something. Picking up his drink, he turned back to the group and continued. "Lindsey said something about you possibly having a show at your gallery soon." 

 

Justin nodded and felt his heart do another summersault and took another drink. Regardless of how his body was reacting to Brian, they hadn't been together for two years, and he had changed. He wasn't the love sick, naive seventeen year old any longer. Deciding that he had to do something before he embarrassed himself, he looked back around the room and found a body of interest. "Yeah, after I get a couple of more done, if the gallery owner likes them, he's already agreed to let me have a small show. It's a start." 

 

The guy that Justin had been watching turned and smiled at him. Justin finished off his drink and with a smile to the group said. "See ya later boys." 

 

The four men watched as Justin made his way over to the guy and after a brief conversation, left Babylon. Brian wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he knew that the feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn't normal. As soon as he had seen Justin, he had immediately schooled himself to hide everything until he could figure out what he was going to do. Brian felt himself being watched and looked around at his friends. "What?" 

 

Michael, Ted, and Emmett all shook their heads. "Nothing." They said in chorus. 

 

Brian turned to where Justin had been standing and thought for a moment that Justin still had the hottest ass and wished that maybe things were different between them before resuming his cruise of the room. Deciding on a possible partner for the night, he finished his drink and said to the guys. "Later boys." 

 

Emmett, Ted, and Michael looked at each other and shook their heads again. Some things changed but others it seemed stayed the same. They figured they would just have to keep an eye out and wait for the drama of the Brian and Justin show to begin.


	14. Glitter and Shine

After that night at Babylon, it seemed that whatever had been keeping Brian and Justin from running into each other was broken. Now it seemed they were running into each other everywhere and neither one was sure what to do about it. Both men continued to act calm and unaffected on the outside, but on the inside both men were dealing with their individual demons. 

 

It all began the day after Babylon. Justin walked into the girls' house to talk with Lindsey about his upcoming show and instead found Brian playing with Gus. Brian and Gus were so busy, that neither of them had heard him come in, and so Justin stood there, quietly watching them. Before him was the Brian that he had always known existed; gentle, loving, and happy. The image of Brian on the floor, surrounded by the bright colors of the Lego blocks that he and Gus were building with, made his palms itched to draw it. Then, just as he thought about quietly leaving, two pairs of hazel eyes looked up and caught his. Justin felt his heart flip and the butterflies start up in his stomach all over again. Just has they had years ago. 

 

"Justin!" Gus called out scrambling to his feet and launching himself at him. 

 

Justin laughed as he caught the excited boy. "Hey Gus, whatcha building?" 

 

Gus squirmed out of Justin's arms and grabbing his hand, leading him over to where Brian was watching them. "We're building a castle! See!" 

 

Justin looked down at Brian before joining them on the floor. 

 

Brian's eyes were twinkling as he laughed at Gus' enthusiasm and Justin's slight but obvious discomfort at being in the room with him. "So Sunshine, what are you doing here?" 

 

Justin didn't look at Brian, but concentrated on the blocks that were laying around him, handing them to Gus as he continued building. "I came by to talk to Lindsey about my show. I wanted to get her advice about a couple of things. What time do you expect them back?" 

 

Brian shrugged and went back to building with Gus. "I'm not sure, probably in about another half an hour. So, how is your show going? You about ready for it?" 

 

Justin shrugged. "I guess so, at least about as ready as I can be. I think I'm more nervous than anything." 

 

Justin finally looked up and watched Brian before he looked up and caught his gaze. Brian smiled again. "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. You have always been a wonderful artist and I know you'll do really well." 

 

Justin smiled back. "I hope so. Thanks, I needed to hear that I guess." 

 

Brian felt his smile start to falter. "No problem, I'm only telling you the truth." 

 

Watching Justin play with Gus, Brian tried to calm his stomach and took a deep breath, opened his mouth and then closed it. He knew that he wanted to ask Justin out, but after their history, he wasn't sure how Justin would take it and was scared that he would turn him down. 

 

Looking down at his watch, he noticed the time and knew that the girls would be home shortly. Feeling the need to get out and think, he stood. "Justin, listen, I need to go and the munchers will be home in a few minutes. Do you mind if I go on?" 

 

Justin looked up confused at the sudden change in Brian and stood as well. "Uh, sure. Go ahead. I don't mind waiting for them to get home. Besides, I still want to talk to Lindsey about the show." 

 

Brian got his coat and with a hug and a kiss to Gus, he walked to the door. "Thanks, Justin. I'll see you around." 

 

Justin watched Brian walk out, his thoughts jumbled and his emotions mixed. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The next day, Justin tried to put Brian out of his mind and concentrated on his work. He was actually surprised when his stomach informed him that it was lunch time. Making his way to the diner, he was relieved to not see Brian anywhere around. Walking up to the counter, he sat down to place his order. Debbie came over and chatted for a bit, but with the lunchtime rush, she couldn't do more but verify that he was going to be at the family gathering on Thursday. 

 

Just about then, Justin heard a squeal, and laughed as Emmett came over and gave him a hug. "How are you baby! Where have you been keeping yourself hidden?" 

 

"Hey Em. Oh, you know working, painting, drawing, that kind of thing." Justin smiled as he picked up his to-go order that was placed in front of him. 

 

Emmett shook his head. "Justin, you need to get out more. You've been home for months now and I've only seen you a handful of times." 

 

Justin sighed. "Em…you know that I…" 

 

Emmett stopped Justin. "I know that you are getting over a relationship but that doesn't mean you have to become a recluse. I want you to meet me at Woody's tonight. I'm not going to take no for an answer." Emmett continued when Justin opened his mouth. 

 

Emmett thought for a moment. "How about 10:30 or 11:00. We can have a few drinks, play a little pool, and just talk about nothing in particular. Just two friends, spending some time together." 

 

Justin couldn't help but smile as he watched Emmett. "Ok, 11:00, that way I can have a little time to work on my art before I meet up with you." 

 

Emmett clapped his hands together in excitement. "Oh goody! Just don't get caught up and forget about me." 

 

Justin hugged Emmett and started to walk out the door saying over his shoulder. "As if I could forget about you Emmett. I'll see ya later." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin looked at his blank computer screen and sighed. He was beginning to regret his impulsive decision to meet Emmett at Woody's. He knew there was a chance that he would run into Brian there, but hoped that he would stay true to form and be at Babylon instead. 

 

Putting down his stylus, he got up and walked over to the window, starring out into the night. He just didn't understand what was wrong with him. He had grown up, had a loving, long term relationship, so why was he suddenly thinking of Brian again? He was over him, right? He still loved…No; he had to be honest with himself. The ache was gone, and while he could smile when he thought about Quinn, he knew that it was truly over. 

 

Hell, in his last letter from Bruce and Aiden, they had informed him that Quinn was dating another student and it hadn't bothered him at all. 

 

So what was going on with him? He thought he was over what most people would have called a school boy crush, even though he knew different. He and Brian were two different people now or at least he knew he was. Sighing, he looked at the clock, grabbed his keys, and left for Woody's. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

As soon as Justin walked into Woody's, he knew that luck wasn't with him. Brian was at the pool tables playing with the boys. He would have turned around and walked back out if Emmett hadn't spotted him ad yelled. "Hey Baby!" 

 

Justin smiled, took a deep breath, and walked over only to be engulfed in Em's hug. "Glad you could make it." 

 

Justin kept smiling. "Yeah, hi guys. I'm going to get a drink. I'll be right back." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian watched Justin walk to the bar and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. Giving himself a mental shake, he told himself that he was being silly. He was a grown man, and he needed to quit acting like some teenage girl. 

 

"Brian…Brian!" Michael said, bringing Brian out of his thoughts. "It's your turn." 

 

Brian shot Michael a quick scowl and then took his shot, purposefully missing. He then handed his cue to Ted. "I'm going to get another beer, anyone want anything?" 

 

Everyone shook their heads and he walked over to the bar, joining Justin there. "Hey." 

 

Brian and Justin stood there, neither one saying anything to the other as they waited for their drink orders, the nervous tension building between them. 

 

Emmett finally came over and took over. "Oh for crying out loud you two, I don't know what your problems are, but we're all friends here, so let's have some fun." 

 

Brian looked over at Justin as Emmett walked away. "Are we friends, Sunshine?" 

 

Justin shrugged. "I don't know, but I'd like for us to be." 

 

Brian nodded. "Me too. Come on, I'll bet you a beer that I can still beat you at pool." 

 

Justin laughed as he felt the tension dissipate around them. "Oh you do, do you? Well, you're on." 

 

The rest of the night passed quickly and Justin found himself having a good time. There were still moments of awkwardness and tension when someone would say something, or one of them would accidentally brush up against the other as they moved around the table, but the important thing was that they were all trying. 

 

There were times that he found himself watching Brian when he shouldn't have, and once, Brian even caught him at it, causing him to blush. Justin was surprised however when instead of the sarcastic comment that he thought Brian would give, he just smiled kindly and continued on as if he hadn't caught Justin. After that, Justin told himself that it was only because he was glad they were friends again. 

 

What Justin didn't know was that Brian was also watching him. While he had been kept up to date by the family, he wanted to see for himself the man that Justin had become. He wanted to know if the Sunshine he had fallen in love with was still there, or if he loved someone that no longer existed. When he caught Justin watching him, he knew that some of his sunshine was still there. 

 

Little did either of them know, that while they were trying to be nonchalant in their observations of each other, they were anything but. Everyone who knew them and their history saw what was going on. Some shook their heads, others started placing bets, and those that knew them best grinned and wondered how long before one of them made a move. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The rest of the week went on about the same. Brian or Justin would be out with the guys and the other would show up having also been invited. While the tension never really left, the awkwardness of being around each other slowly began to disappear. However, they both made a point of never really being alone together, and never danced with each other except in group form. 

 

Sunday came and they both showed up at Deb's for the weekly gathering. To everyone around them, it seemed that they had finally gotten over their former relationships and were once again living life instead of just putting up with it. They were also glad to see them working hard at being friends. Off course everyone knew that they would eventually end up together, but their main concern was, if they did, would it last? And if it didn't, would they both survive. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

The night of Justin's opening was filled with nervous excitement. Justin walked around the room doing a final check before the doors opened. As he looked around, he was pleased with what he saw. Instead of going with the traditional opening of keeping the walls white so that nothing distracted from the art work, Justin had draped the walls with sheets of rich jewel tone material and placed a spot light on each piece of artwork where it was nestled among them. The colors of the material only enhanced the colors in his paintings. 

 

Emmett walked up and put his arm around him. "The servers are ready. How about you?" 

 

Justin took another look around. "I'm nervous but as ready as I'll ever be." 

 

Looking toward the door, he nodded for them to be opened and the lights dimmed. "Thanks for catering this Em. I know how busy your schedule is." 

 

"Anything for you baby. I'd have been upset if you hadn't. Now, go knock'em dead." Emmett said, giving him a little push toward the door, where some people were starting to come in. 

 

Justin smiled at the first people that walked in and kissed them each on the cheek. "Hi Mom, Molly." 

 

Jennifer smiled back at her son. "So, are you nervous?" 

 

Justin laughed. "Yeah, does it show?" 

 

"No, you look wonderful." Jennifer said. "You know I'm proud of you." 

 

"Thanks Mom. Why don't you and Molly look around. Let me know what you think." Justin said, seeing more people walking in. 

 

"Okay sweetheart. We'll try to stay out of your way. We know you've got to work." Jennifer said as she led Molly away farther into the gallery. 

 

Justin was soon surrounded by many people clamoring over his work. When he could, he'd get away to talk to his friends and family, but he kept looking for that one person he wanted to see his work. Brian. 

 

Finally, Justin worked his way out of the crowd and began to roam through his work, nodding here and there to people, but not stopping to talk. As he moved among his work, he'd stop and caress various vases and statues that he had done. He noticed sold signs on several pieces and moved on to look at the walls. He eyed each painting and drawing that had a sold sign, trying to figure out what they had that the ones he hadn't sold yet didn't. 

 

Finally he stopped in front of one of his favorites. It was an oil rendering of his sketch of Quinn with the bonfire behind him, making him look like a pagan god at Beltane. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Brian walked into the busy gallery and immediately started looking for Justin. Not wanting to reveal his hand to anyone yet, he made his way over to his friends to say hi before using the excuse of looking over the work to try and find Justin. 

 

As he looked, he looked over the work spread out around the room and was pleased by what he saw. He had stopped to look over a particular statue, when he finally saw Justin standing in front of a large painting. Brian looked him over and couldn't stop his heart from picking up speed or the tightening of his cock at the sight he presented. 

 

Justin was wearing dark blue slacks that showed off his ass nicely. His shirt was a pale shimmery blue with dark blue strips running vertically through it. The pale blue seemed to glow and Brian knew that it matched his eyes and would make them stand out. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to him and felt his stomach drop when he saw who the painting was of. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin suddenly felt a familiar presence behind him and a voice ask. "So, who is he?" 

 

Brian of course knew who he was but wasn't about to let Justin know. 

 

Justin looked over his shoulder at Brian and smiled one of his true sunshine smiles at him, glad that Brian had made it. "Hi Brian. That's …uhm…that's Quinn." 

 

Brian shook his head in acknowledgement but searched Justin's face for any trace that he might still be in love with Quinn. Between the smile that Justin had sent him and the lack of sadness, Brian knew that he could go ahead with his plans. 

 

Looking over his shoulder at the crowd, he smiled. "Looks like you have a success on you hands here Sunshine. Congratulations." 

 

Justin continued to smile. He had been nervous about answering Brian's questions, and felt his heart speed up as Brian had searched his face. "Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks. Have you had a chance to look at everything?" 

 

Brian smiled back. "No, but what I've seen, I've been impressed with. Then again, I always knew you were talented." 

 

Justin couldn't keep the blush of pleasure from staining his cheeks. "Come on, I'll give you a personal tour of the rest." 

 

Justin proceeded to lead Brian the rest of the way around the room. Brian was please to see a similar picture to the titled "Fire" but this one was titled "Blue" and the silhouette was obviously of himself with his head thrown back in pleasure. Brian also noticed that like "Fire" it was also sold. 

 

Justin saw Brian looking at the painting he had done of him. "I…I almost didn't include this one." 

 

Brian turned to look at Justin. "Why?" 

 

Justin felt his breath catch and decided to be honest with his answer. "Sentimental reasons. That, and I knew that you'd recognize it, and I wasn't sure if you'd be happy about being on display." 

 

Brian smiled. "Oh, I recognize it alright, but I'm glad you did, sentimental reasons aside and all." 

 

Justin laughed and continued with his tour. Toward the end, he got pulled away and Brian finished the rest on his own. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Jennifer, who had been watching the whole thing, left Molly with Debbie and walked over to Brian. "Hello Brian." 

 

Brian glanced over at Jennifer then back at the painting in front of him. "Hello Mrs. Taylor." 

 

Jennifer glanced to see if Justin was watching then said. "You still love him, don't you." 

 

Brian looked at her in surprise. Whatever Jennifer was going to say, that certainly hadn't been what he was expecting. "I…yes, I do." 

 

Jennifer nodded. Then I guess I need to thank you for letting him go when you did. He's done things that he wouldn't have if you hadn't." 

 

Brian sighed. "Don't thank me. I did what I did because I thought he'd be happier with the fiddler. But he wasn't, was he. We both ended up being miserable for awhile, but in the long run, it did us both good. I needed to do some growing up of my own." 

 

Jennifer nodded. "I understand." 

 

Jennifer turned to leave but stopped and looked at Brian again. "Brian, whatever you decide to do, remember that even though he is a grown man, he's still my little boy, and I don't want to see him hurt." 

 

Brian nodded, and Jennifer went back to collect Molly. It was getting late, and they needed to say goodbye to Justin before they left. 

 

Justin had just reached the front of the gallery when Jennifer and Molly came up to say goodnight. 

 

"I'm so proud of you honey! Your show is such a success." Jennifer said hugging Justin and placing a kiss on his cheek. "We're going to leave as it's getting late." 

 

Justin smiled back at his Mom. "Thanks Mom. I'm glad you like it. Goodnight, Molly." 

 

Molly smiled and hugged her brother before going to catch up with her mother. 

 

When Jennifer left, it seemed to be the signal, and slowly the other guests began to leave. Justin stood at the door, smiling and collecting and passing out business cards. Finally, Justin looked around and noticed that the only people left were his staff, Emmett and Vic and their staff, and Brian. 

 

First he went and said a few words to his staff, giving them some last minute instructions before they left. Then he walked over to Emmett and Vic and thanked them for all they had done for him. 

 

"Think nothing of it baby, we're just glad we could help. We'll be out of your hair in just a few minutes." Emmett said as he looked around at his staff clearing away what was left of the food and drinks. "Now, instead of standing here talking to us, why don't you go see what Brian wants." 

 

Emmett gave Justin a little turn and push in the right direction before turning to see Vic laughing at him. "What? You know as well as I do that they still love each other. Anyone with a brain can see that. They just need a push now and then." 

 

Vic continued to laugh. "I agree. Now let's get this stuff out of here so that they can be alone. Whatever is going to happen doesn't need an audience." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin walked over to where Brian was standing, and looked at the piece he was studying. He saw the sold sign and smiled. "Did you buy it?" 

 

Brian smiled and shook his head. "No, I was just looking at it while waiting for you." 

 

Just felt his heart speed up. "Waiting for me? Why?" 

 

Brian took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Looking Justin in the face, he said. "Well, I know it's kind of short notice, but I thought maybe we could go out tomorrow night to celebrate the success of your show with dinner." 

 

Justin felt his heart pound harder at what Brian had just said. However, he decided to play dumb for a moment and hope for clarification. "Oh, you mean get the gang together for one of our little celebration dinners?" 

 

Brian closed his eyes and took a steadying breath before opening them again. "No, it wouldn't be the whole gang. It would just be you and me." 

 

Justin studied Brian's face carefully, trying to see if he was serious. "Brian? Are you asking me out on a date?" 

 

Brian continued to look Justin in the eye and with a slight smile, said. "Yes, I am. An honest to god date. You know the kind where I pick you up at your place, drive you to a restaurant, we eat, have conversation, that kind of date." 

 

Justin continued to study Brian for a few moments. Then to Brian's relief, one of the most brilliant smiles he had ever seen came upon Justin's face. He had his answer and smiled back.


	15. Glitter and Shine

Justin looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He knew he looked good. When Brian had lost his smile when he'd told him that he couldn't go out the next night, he had quickly suggested Monday night and explained that he needed to be at the gallery all weekend when Brian had lost his smile. 

 

He had also sighed with relief when Brian's smile had returned and he had agreed. Now here it was, Monday night, and he was wondering if he was doing the right thing. He was still unsure of what he was doing where Brian was concerned. Nervously, he looked at the clock and saw that Brian was due within the next fifteen minutes. 

 

Almost as if he had wished him there, there was a knock on his door which caused Justin to jump. Laughing at himself, he peeked through the peep hole and on verifying that it was Brian, opened the door. 

 

As soon as the door opened, Brian brought his hand from behind his back and smiled at the surprise that was written all over Justin's face. Handing the dozen yellow roses edged with red over to Justin, he continued to smile as he watched the surprise being replaced by happiness. 

 

Justin couldn't believe that not only were he and Brian going on a date but that Brian had also brought him roses. Smelling the flowers, he backed away from the door. "Come on in while I find something to put these in." 

 

Brian walked in and looked around. This was the first time he had been to Justin's apartment and while it was laid out like most apartments, it was not decorated as such. The dining area was set up with an easel and pottery wheel. Shelves had been added to the wall in which several statues and vases sat in various stages of completion. 

 

The living room was done tastefully but in bold colors. Instead of artwork on the walls, there were more shelves covered with things he had collected and photos. Brian was pleased to see several of Gus. Looking through the doorway, he noticed that Justin's bedroom was done very simplistically and that the computer he had bought him years ago was sitting on a desk with several additions added to it. 

 

"You have a nice place here." Brian said as he watched Justin place the roses on the coffee table. 

 

Justin shrugged. "It's a little small but it'll do for now. I'm actually thinking of buying a house or something." 

 

Brian nodded and smiled as Justin straightened up, moved the vase a little to the left, then looked at him satisfied. "You ready to go?" 

 

"Absolutely." Brian said, walking to the door and holding it open for Justin. 

 

Justin couldn't keep the smile from his face as he walked through the door, or the thought of how different Brian seemed to be. 

 

Down at the vette, Brian once again opened the door for Justin. "Great car, when did you get it?" 

 

Brian got in on his side and started driving before he answered. "Thanks. I got it a few months after coming back from Scotland." 

 

Justin looked a little confused. "You never told me." 

 

Brian realized what he'd said, but decided that he was going to be honest. "It wasn't the trip where I was with you." 

 

Justin said "Oh" Then what Brian said fully sunk in. "When did you come back over?" 

 

Justin wasn't sure if he really wanted to know but felt that somehow it was important for him to know. 

 

Brian took a deep breath as well. "Right after you got back from Spain. I was going to surprise you." 

 

Justin felt his heart drop as he realized just when that was. "Then you knew about Quinn before I told you." 

 

Brian nodded. "Yes, I saw you two together. You looked…happy and in love. I decided to go back home instead of seeing you." 

 

Justin began to feel uncomfortable. Brian felt it and turned to look at Justin. "Justin, we've both grown up some and met other people. It's also all in the past and will remain there if we let it. We're different people now, lets let the people we are now get to know each other." 

 

Justin looked at Brian, not sure what to expect, but not what he saw. Brian wasn't being sarcastic, belittling, or angry. He wasn't out to teach Justin another lesson. He saw a little bit of hurt at the memory, but he also saw the honesty in what Brian had said. 

 

"Wow Brian. You really did grow up didn't you?" Justin shook his head in wonderment. 

 

Brian smiled then began to chuckle. "Yeah, I did. And the sad part is, you're still probably the most mature person I know next to Ben." 

 

Justin remembered the time he had told Brian that and laughed with him, the tension leaving with the laughter. 

 

"So where are we going on this date?" Justin asked looking around but not seeing anything that looked like a restaurant, and also glad to see nothing like the baths or Babylon around. 

 

Brian smiled. "It's this restaurant that opened a few months ago. It's called "The Veranda". 

 

Just about that time, Brian pulled into the driveway of a large Victorian mansion. "Oh Brian, it's beautiful!" 

 

Justin looked at the softly lit wooden structure. It was painted white but the gingerbread was painted in shades of blue, lavender with accents of mint green. The roof shingles were of slate in matching colors. The large wrap-around porch was obviously where the restaurant got its name from. 

 

The large oak tree on the side of the house lent to it its old time charm and Justin was mesmerized. So much so that he didn't realize that Brian had gotten out of the car until he opened Justin's door. 

 

Justin turned and smiled at Brian. Brian held out his hand to Justin and his smiled turned into one of his beaming sunshine smiles that had grabbed hold of Brian's heart from the beginning. Hand in hand they walked up the drive. Brian could have done valet parking but knew that the artist in Justin would appreciate the beauty of the walk. 

 

As they reached the stairs leading up to the veranda, Justin noticed the people sitting at tea tables and in other Victorian outdoor furniture. A waiter came out to refresh drinks and to take orders of those without drinks who were waiting for their names to be called to go inside. As they approached the front doors, they were opened by a man wearing a tuxedo and greeted. "Welcome to The Veranda gentlemen. Sonja will be right with you." 

 

Brian and Justin moved farther into the foyer, where they were greeted by an elegantly dressed young lady who seemed to be waiting for them. With a smile she greeted them. "Good Evening Gentlemen. Could I get the name of your party please?" 

 

"Kinney" Brian said. 

 

"Yes, Mister Kinney, party of two. If you'll follow me please." She said, picking up her long skirt and walking up the stairs. 

 

Brian and Justin looked at each other and smiled as they followed the lady up the stairs while still holding hands. 

 

Upon reaching the landing, she took them into what had once been the ballroom. Walking into it, they noticed that all the tables were small and set for two. All had lit candles and were spread out far enough that any conversations would be intimate. The center of the room was left open and there were a few couples dancing to the musicians that were playing in the orchestra gallery. 

 

Leading them over to a table by a window, she waited until they were seated. Brian once again surprised Justin by pulling out his seat for him. Justin sat down. While he loved that Brian was doing all of the romantic motions for him, he wasn't so sure that he liked it. It just didn't seem right to him. It went against everything that Brian had ever told him he believed in. 

 

Brian sat down and saw the serious and slightly confused look on Justin's face. He wanted to ask what the matter was, but the hostess started talking. 

 

"Your waiter this evening will be Matt and he'll be right with you." She then smiled and left. Brian and Justin smiled back and watched her leave. 

 

Brian looked at Justin. "What's the matter? You don't like the table?" 

 

Justin smiled slightly. "No, the table is fine. It's just…well…it's you. I know you said you've grown up and all, but well, I guess I'm just having a hard time believing the new you. Everything you've done tonight is against what you've ever told me you didn't do. So I'm just wondering why?" 

 

Brian smiled understanding Justin's confusion. "Well, I guess I'm trying a little too hard to make our first date something you'll remember. After all, you know what they say about first impressions." 

 

Justin nodded his understanding and smiled back. "You didn't have to try so hard. Tell me Brian, if you hadn't known how much I used to wish we'd do some of these things, would you have even asked me out?" 

 

Brian's smile got bigger. "Oh definitely. Although I might not have brought us here. I probably would have saved it for a special occasion and I probably wouldn't have bought you flowers or held your door open or your chair. But I still would have taken you to a nice restaurant followed by a nice stroll in the park or something." 

 

Justin laughed. "Well, that would still have been romantic and not nearly as confusing as this." 

 

Brian joined in the laughter and would have said something, but Matt, their waiter appeared to tell them the specials, hand out the menus, and take their drink orders. 

 

Brian and Justin looked over their menus in silence but they both had smiles on their faces over the situation. Matt returned with their drinks and took their orders. Taking a sip of his drink, Brian looked out at the dance floor. Setting down his glass, he cleared his throat and stood. "Would you like to dance?" 

 

Justin looked up in surprise and set his glass down as he looked at Brian's outstretched hand. Smiling, he stood and took Brian's hand as he led him out onto the dance floor. As they started to slowly move to the music, the couples already there, paused to look. A couple of them left the floor, but most resumed dancing themselves. 

 

Justin looked up into Brian's face and smiled. "I thought you were going to quit trying so hard to impress me?" 

 

Brian smiled back down at Justin and shrugged. "I am. I just felt like dancing. Besides, we're here, why waste the chance to shock the heteros." 

 

Justin laughed. "You're right." 

 

They continued to dance for a couple of more songs, and were surprised when they stopped that the dance floor had become slightly fuller, and that they weren't the only same sex couple on the floor. As they were leaving for their table, they saw a lesbian couple and a couple of older men. 

 

As soon as they sat down, the waiter brought them their appetizer. Through it and their dinner, they talked. Mainly it was about their jobs. Brian had gone from junior partner to full partner in just over a year, and was trying to decide if he was going to try to buy out his partner, or open his own agency. 

 

Justin told Brian how much he enjoyed working at the gallery, but if his artwork continued to do as good as it was, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to continue to work there. As it was, he already had several commissions to do, as well as a few other projects he was working on. 

 

After dinner, they danced a couple of more times, paid their bill, and went downstairs, where they were shown the cigar lounge where they could get a good cigar, smoke it, and have a brandy. Opting to skip this, they walked out onto the veranda and followed it to the side of the house where they found a patio with more people dancing to music being played by a quartet. Walking among the dancers until they got to the center, they joined in. Neither one noticed the violinist hesitate in his playing, or his eyes as he followed their movements. 

 

When the quartet broke for a break, Brian and Justin still holding hands strolled among the gardens, quietly talking at times, at others, just enjoying each other's presence, and the beauty of their surroundings. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Ethan watched the two men walk off. Neither one had even noticed him. While he didn't care about Brian, he was a little hurt that Justin hadn't. It was just more proof that the connection he had though he had with Justin once, had never really existed. He continued to watch them for awhile until they moved out of sight. 

 

Looking around, he knew that his break would be over soon but figured that he still had time. Walking as casually as he could, he walked in the direction that Brian and Justin had gone. He wasn't happy that Justin was back with Brian but he knew that eventually he would make his way back to him. Coming to the hedge where they had disappeared he looked around to see if he could find them. What he saw was the ease they seemed to have with each other. Then he saw Justin lean his head against Brian's shoulder, and Brian looked down at Justin with such love, that it made his heart ache. He knew then that his hopes of coming back to Pittsburgh and wooing Justin back were just dreams. He knew as soon as he saw the look on Brian's face that Justin would never be his again, if he ever really had been. 

 

It was time to forget about what might have been and to move on. Sighing, he went back to where he had left his violin, sat down his drink, and got ready to join the quartet again. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin couldn't get over the fact that Brian had gone to all this trouble just for him. The restaurant was amazing and one of the most romantic places he'd ever been to. Justin sighed and without thinking leaned his head against Brian's shoulder. 

 

Brian looked down at Justin's head resting on his shoulder and smiled. He knew he had gone overboard in trying to show Justin he had changed and could be romantic just like Justin had always wanted him to be. What he didn't think was that Justin would call him on it, but he knew that Justin also appreciated it. 

 

Brian spotted an unoccupied secluded bench and moved to claim it. For awhile they sat, contented. Justin raised his head to thank Brian for such a beautiful and romantic evening, but before he could say anything Brian bent down and silenced him with a gentle kiss. When Brian came back up, he studied Justin's face, and leaned back down for another one when he saw the request in Justin's face. The kiss started out slow and gentle as did the next one. The one after that became a little more intense, as did the others that followed. 

 

When Brian broke off the kiss the next time, Justin was all prepared to follow Brian somewhere for a blowjob or a quick fuck like they used to do. 

 

Brian stood up and held out his hand to Justin. "Come on. It's getting a little late. I should be getting you home." 

 

Justin's mouth dropped open as he tried to take in what Brian had said. He definitely hadn't been prepared for that. Closing him mouth when he saw Brian's amused look, he nodded his head and quietly followed Brian to the car. 

 

The ride back to Justin's place was done in silence, each man deep in their own thoughts. Brian parked the car determined to finish out the night as planned regardless of the hard on he couldn't seem to get rid of after kissing Justin. Getting out of the car, walking around and opening Justin's door, he couldn't help but notice that Justin too had not been left unaffected. 

 

The ride up to Justin's apartment was done in a little more comfort as soon as Brian reached over and took a hold of Justin's hand. When the doors opened, Brian walked Justin to his door, bent down and kissed him a gentle kiss and said. "I know I went a little overboard tonight but I hope you'll be willing to go out on another date with me. I promise not to make it romantic." 

 

Justin smiled and unlocked his door. "Of course, how about breakfast in the morning?" 

 

Brian smiled, glad that Justin wanted to give them a chance. "Ok, do you want me to pick you up? Where would you like to go?" 

 

Justin's smile got bigger as he opened his door. "I thought I'd fix it for you here. In the morning." 

 

Slowly he walked backwards into his apartment using the fact that he had never let go of Brian's hand to pull him in after him. 

 

"Justin…"Brian almost moaned. "This wasn't what I had in mind. I thought we'd take it slowly." 

 

Justin walked up until his body was pressed against Brian's, reached behind him and gave the door a push to shut it. "Brian, while we've both done some growing up and changed, we're not strangers. We've had a relationship once already and while we're seeing about trying again, one thing hasn't changed at all between us." 

 

Brian knew what Justin was saying and smiled. He liked this side of Justin and was willing to see how far he would take it. "And what would that be?" 

 

Justin smiled. "This." He said. He rubbed Brian's hard on with his body as he licked the pulse beating at the base of his throat, causing his cock to jump. 

 

Brian's breath caught. "True but…" 

 

Justin shut Brian up with a kiss. When he broke it off, he said. "Yes, but we're not strangers. We are, however, adults, and I know that I'm not a trick." 

 

Brian looked into Justin's face, searching for what, he wasn't quite sure of, but what he did see was enough. With a groan, he gave in and wrapped Justin in his arms and kissed him. 

 

Justin knew he had gotten to Brian, but Brian wasn't moving fast enough for him. He'd been hard since the restaurant and he wanted Brian, and he wanted him now. Brian stood still as Justin removed his tie and shirt, and then his own, kissing him when he could. As soon as the shirts were gone, they both began to run their hands over each others chests, tweaking hard nipples in their explorations. 

 

Justin groaned and began nibbling, licking, and kissing Brian's chest, and while he did so, he also made quick work of Brian's belt and slacks. Dropping to his knees, Justin pushed them down and off before he took Brian's cock in his mouth. As he applied pressure only on the head of Brian's cock, he quickly opened his own pants to release his own hard on. 

 

Brian looked down and watched the blond head take him more fully in as he pumped himself, and groaned. Reaching down, he pulled at Justin until he stood up. As soon as his mouth was within reach Brian claimed it for a deep kiss, tasting himself in Justin's mouth. 

 

Breaking off the kiss Brian returned the favor and pulled Justin's pants down and off as he sucked, licked and nipped on Justin's hard on. 

 

Justin felt his orgasm approaching and backed away from Brian. Groaning at the picture of Brian kneeling there, eyes glazed with lust, and his lips parted from where he had just removed his cock. Justin bent down and kissed Brian again, before taking his hand and pulling him to his feet to lead him into the bedroom. 

 

Drawing Brian to the bed, he pushed him down on it and climbed up to straddle his thighs, bringing their cocks together when he leaned down for a kiss. As they kissed, their hands went back to exploring each other. Then both groaned when Justin moved causing their cocks to rub against each other. 

 

Breaking off the kiss, Justin studied Brian's face intently. Finally he asked. "So, are you still the consummate top?" 

 

Brian looked at Justin and hoped that he understood what he was saying. "Pretty much but there are always exceptions." 

 

Justin nodded, indeed understanding what Brian was saying. Reaching over, he grabbed a condom and lube from his bedside table. Tearing it open, he sat back, never breaking eye contact with Brian. 

 

Brian's eyes widened in surprise as Justin slipped the condom onto his cock. Justin laughed. "What? You thought I was going to fuck you?" 

 

Brian nodded his head. "Well, I am. Just not right now. Now, I want to feel you inside me. Be easy though." He said as he leaned down for a quick kiss. "It's been awhile." 

 

Brian smiled as he realized what Justin had said. Pulling him down for a harder kiss, Brian rolled them over and began to prepare Justin. ""It'll be like the first time." Brian said after breaking off the kiss and sitting back. 

 

Justin began pushing back against Brian's fingers. "Brian enough! Now fuck me!" 

 

Brian laughed as he lifted Justin's legs to his shoulders. "A bit anxious aren't we?" 

 

Justin growled. "I've been hard since dinner. What do you think?" 

 

Brian leaned forward and kissed Justin. "I think we need to take care of this problem right now." 

 

Slowly he began to push into Justin, pausing when Justin hissed at the pain. "Jesus you're tight. Relax." 

 

Justin nodded and released his breath. Brian slowly pushed in some more and then bent down to kiss Justin, swallowing his gasp when he slammed the rest of the way in. Brian didn't move, letting Justin adjust, but also so he could revel in being inside Justin once again. 

 

Justin opened his eyes and looked at Brian. Brian had closed his eyes as well, but opened them when he felt Justin's stare. Leaning his forehead against Justin's, he whispered. "You ready?" 

 

Justin nodded and smiled. "Most definitely." 

 

Brian smiled back and began to move in a slow, agonizing pace to draw out the moment. If Brian hadn't been firmly embedded in Justin when he laughed, he would have been pushed out. "Brian, we have all night. We can go slower later, for now, I need to get off, so fuck me!" 

 

Brian laughed as well. "Alright, just remember you asked for it when you can't sit down tomorrow." 

 

Brian immediately picked up the pace and Justin matched him thrust for thrust, until they were both panting from the exertion and need. When Brian bent for another kiss, Justin moaned at the added pressure on his cock. "Cumming!" 

 

As soon as Justin said that, Brian felt the warm gush between them and the tightening around his cock. With another thrust and a grunt, Brian came as well, collapsing on top of Justin when it was over. 

 

Justin's legs had slipped off of Brian's shoulders when he'd collapsed on top of him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around Brian to hold him. After a few moments Brian slipped out of Justin, and with a sigh, he rolled off of him. Justin got up and went into the bathroom, coming out with a couple of washcloths. 

 

Brian watched Justin wash his belly and chest. As he got to the bed, he dropped the one he was using and climbed back into the bed where he began to clean Brian off. As he washed, he bent down and kissed every spot gently. When Brian moaned, Justin looked up and smiled before he continued his ministrations. When he was finished with Brian's chest and stomach, he looked up at Brian. "Roll over." 

 

Brian looked at Justin and rolled over. Justin laid down on top of Brian and began to kiss, lick, and nipple Brian's shoulders and back, working his way down. By the time he reached the small of Brian's back, Justin was hard again and so was Brian. Leaning fully on Brian's back again, Justin allowed Brian' to feel his hard on slide into the crack of his ass. "My turn, but first, I'm going to rim you good." 

 

Brian groaned, and as soon as Justin was off of him, he got up on his knees to make it easier for Justin without him saying a word. Looking behind him, he smiled. "Please be gentle. It's been awhile." 

 

Justin laughed. "Are you kidding? I'm going to fuck you into the mattress, that way we'll both have to sit gingerly tomorrow." 

 

Brian's laugh was quickly cut off as Justin spread the cheeks of his ass and began the rim job that he had promised. 

 

Brian couldn't believe how wonderful Justin's tongue felt, and was soon pushing back against Justin's face trying to get more of him inside. 

 

Justin felt Brian move and knew that he had started to stroke himself. He heard Brian groan when Justin stopped what he was doing. "Don't touch yourself. If you do, I'm going to stop and not give you any relief." 

 

Brian removed his hand and then placed both of them over his head, grabbing the spindles of the headboard. When Justin began rimming him again, he sighed with relief but was soon panting with the need for release. "God, Justin, fuck me already!" 

 

Brian felt Justin's smile against his ass. "What did you say?" 

 

Brian groaned. "Justin, please." 

 

Justin couldn't get the smile off his face and reached for the condom and lube. He almost laughed when he heard Brian groan when he ripped open the condom wrapper, but didn't. Instead he quickly slipped it on and slicked it up before moving into position. "Is this what you want Brian?" Justin whispered and he place the head of his cock at Brian's hole, pushing just enough to add pressure but not enough to penetrate. 

 

Brian groaned again. "Yes!" and pushed back against Justin, allowing him to push through the tight ring. 

 

Justin groaned along with Brian at the sudden move. Slowly he began to push farther into Brian, and once he was fully in, stopped to allow Brian to adjust. Brian, however, would have none of that and tightened his walls around Justin's cock, causing him to moan from the pressure. Justin slapped Brian on the ass. "Stop that or you'll make me cum and I don't want to yet." 

 

Brian looked over his shoulder and smiled. "What, you thought just because you were on top, you had all the control?" 

 

Justin smiled back at Brian. "Are you kidding?" Justin began to do a small rocking motion, just barely moving but causing little waves of pleasure to radiate through them. "I know that if it's done right, both the top and bottom can have equal control." 

 

Brian nodded and then quickly threw his head back and gasped as Justin suddenly pulled out and slammed back in. "We both have control in which to pleasure each other. You taught me that a long time ago." 

 

Justin began to alter his movements between long and deep and short and shallow. Within moments, they were both panting, needing to cum. Justin reached around and began to stroke Brian's cock. In seconds, Brian threw back his head, reached around to grab Justin's ass and shot his load. 

 

Justin felt Brian's walls tighten around him and as they pulsed, he shot, filling the condom. With a final gasp, he collapsed on top of Brian, who fell to the bed. When Justin started to roll off, Brian stopped him with his hand and he stopped. When Justin's cock finally softened enough to slide out on its own, Brian finally let Justin roll to his side. 

 

Looking over at Justin he couldn't help but grin. "That was fan-fucking-tastic." 

 

Justin grinned back at Brian. "It sure was." 

 

Brian rolled onto his side and pulled Justin to him. It would be one of many times during the night that one or the other fucked each other before they fell asleep in the early morning hours. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin woke up to the feeling of being stared at. Opening his eyes, he saw Brian staring down at him. "Good Morning." 

 

Brian smiled down at Justin, reached over and pushed some hair away from Justin's face and said. "Good Morning." 

 

Brian bent down and placed a tender kiss on Justin's still swollen lips. "I'm ready for my breakfast." 

 

Justin laughed, "Ok, but let's have our first course in the shower. We reek." 

 

Brian laughed and got up out of the bed to follow Justin into the shower. After taking care of each others morning wood, they finished cleaning each other up and got out. Justin grabbed his robe. "I'm sorry I don't have a robe to offer you. Of course I won't complain if you decide to stay in a towel or better yet, in nothing at all." 

 

Brian smiled at Justin. "Well, don't you think I should have the same view?" 

 

Justin smiled back. "Of course but since I'm going to be doing the cooking, I think I need to protect my body just a bit in case of accidents. So you'll just have to wait until I get finished before I join you." 

 

Brian looked over at the clock and sighed. "You know, I just realized what time it is. I have to be in the office in an hour and I don't have a change of clothes with me. Can we meet for lunch instead? Or even dinner?" 

 

Justin smiled. "Lunch is good. Meet you at the diner?" 

 

Brian walked over and kissed him as he buttoned his shirt. "Definitely. 1:00?" 

 

Justin took over buttoning Brian's shirt. "One is fine." 

 

Justin watched Brian gather up the rest of his clothes and then walked him to the door. Right before he walked out, he bent for another kiss. "Later." 

 

Justin smiled. "Later." 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Justin walked into the diner a little after one o'clock, a little out of breath. Sitting down at the booth where Brian was waiting, he let out a sigh and smiled. "Sorry I'm late. I had a client that just wouldn't go away." 

 

Brian smiled. "Welcome to the real world Sunshine." 

 

Justin sighed. "I know and usually I don't mind but this was a pretentious wannabe that did nothing but criticize every piece we currently have. I mean, this blowhard came in, looked around for only a minute and started complaining. He then began to tell us some of the artists we should be carrying. I took him back into the private showroom and showed him some of the artists that he had suggested. He shut up, looked at what we had, then started talking about certain periods that he was looking for from each artists which we weren't carrying. The thing is, he was talking rubbish, he didn't have a clue. 

 

Brian nodded. He understood exactly what Justin meant. "I know, I have quite a few clients that are the same way. In the end, they finally end up going with our concepts, but claim that that's what they had in mind the whole time." 

 

About that time, the waitress came over to take their orders. Debbie had the evening shift so they were spared having to go through her third degree. Just as their orders arrived, Michael came rushing into the dinner, saw them and flounced into the seat next to Brian. "Oh man what a day this has been." Signaling the waitress, he shouted. "I'll have my usual!" 

 

Brian looked at Justin and shrugged. "What's the matter Mikey? They kill off another superhero?" 

 

"Smartass. No, but the way my day has been, that may still happen." Michael sighed. "We overslept this morning, so that by the time I got to the store, my delivery had already been there, and since I wasn't there, left. I called so they came back since they hadn't gone too far away. When I finally got to opening the boxes, the order was only half right. I just got off the phone with the warehouse to get the problem fixed. Oh! And some kid tried to shoplift. 

 

The waitress sat down Michael's order just as Ted and Emmett joined them. Sliding in next to Justin, they effectively trapped him there. 

 

"So what's going on fellas? Emmett asked and the signaled the waitress over. 

 

Michael around a mouth full of food said. "Nothing much." 

 

Brian shook his head. "Just grabbing some lunch like everyone else." 

 

Justin smiled when Brian looked over at him and continued to eat. "What's going on with you guys?" 

 

Emmett and Ted proceeded to tell how their day had gone so far, and chatted about gossip and such for the rest of the meal. Finishing up his meal, Justin looked at his watch and sighed. "Well, it's been fun but I've got to get back to work. I have a client coming in half and hour." 

 

Ted and Emmett stumbled out of their seats to let Justin out. As he climbed out of the booth, he looked over and said. "Later." 

 

Brian smiled. "See you tonight?" 

 

Justin shook his head sadly. "Can't. The boss wants me to wine and dine some artist and their agent. He's trying to talk them into doing a show with us. How about tomorrow night?" 

 

Brian was disappointed but understood. "Tomorrow night is good. Pick you up around seven?" 

 

Justin smiled. "Seven is good. Later." 

 

Brian smiled back. "Later" and watched as Justin left, ignoring the stares that he was getting from Michael, Ted, and Emmett. 

 

"Well boys, I've got to get back to the office as well and be fabulous. I have a presentation in an hour. Woody's tonight?" Brian asked waiting for Michael to move so he could get out. 

 

"What? Brian! You can't just talk to just about going out and then act like we didn't hear anything. What are you doing?" Michael said exasperated. 

 

Brian looked at Ted, Emmett, and finally Michael. "Get up Michael. What is going on between Justin and I is no one's business but our own. If and when we're ready to tell you anything, we will. Until then stay out of it." Brian said seriously as he got out of the seat once Michael had moved. "That means all of you and anyone you decide needs to know about what you think you know." 

 

"Brian!" Michael whined as he watched Brian walk to the door and out of it without turning around. 

 

Michael looked down at Ted and Emmett and plopped back down into his seat. "I can't believe he said that to us. We're his friends. What do you think is going on?" 

 

Ted and Emmett looked at each other and then at Michael. Ted opened his mouth but shut it without saying anything. Emmett however was another matter. "I think that Brian and Justin are trying to see if there is still anything there between then. Especially now that they have both grown up and are on more of an equal footing. And you know what? I think that even after all these years, those two still love each other." 

 

Michael shook his head. "I can't believe it, not after the way Justin hurt Brian last time. Maybe I better talk to him." 

 

Emmett sighed. "Michael. Stay out of it. Brian hurt Justin too. You just don't and have never wanted to see that. If you had stayed out of it last time, things might have been different now. Maybe Justin wouldn't have felt abandoned and alone and run off to Europe with that boy. And maybe Brian wouldn't have been so depressed and sad. Let them have this time in which to find out if they can make it work this time." 

 

Michael looked as if he was going to argue but then shut his mouth and sighed. "Alright. I'll leave them alone for now, but if I see anything that is going to hurt Brian again, I can't promise not to say something then." 

 

Ted sighed. "Michael, don't you get it? You say that if you see something that is going to hurt Brian, you're going to tell him. Well think about it 'best friend', who's the one who is really doing the hurting? Justin doing something that Brian doesn't know about, or more than likely does know but isn't acknowledging, or you getting in his face and telling him?" 

 

Michael looked down at his now empty plate and sighed. "I …I never looked at it that way. I never meant to hurt him. I'll…I'll stay out of it this time." 

 

Ted and Emmett both sighed in relief and hoped that Michael would actually keep his promise to stay out of it. 

 

******************************************************************************************** 

 

Over the next three weeks, Brian and Justin were seen together quite often, and when they would leave, they left together without having paid any attention to any of the potential tricks that had tried to get their attention. When they weren't out, they would stay at one or the other's place, just having a nice quiet evening at home. 

 

On one of those nights, Brian was over at Justin's. They had had dinner and had finally settled down to relax with a movie. Justin was nestled in Brian's arms contentedly. He couldn't believe how well things were going between him and Brian. Brian had changed so much, but then again, so had he. He truly felt like an equal now and he knew it was because of these changes. Of course their relationship was still fairly new, but he had hopes that this time they would make it. 

 

Brian heard Justin sigh in contentment and knew exactly how he felt. Things were going so well between them, and he just knew that this time they were going to make it. Without really thinking it through he said. "Justin, move in with me. I hate not having you near me every night." 

 

Justin sat up and turned to face Brian in surprise. "What?! Brian…I…I…" Justin couldn't believe that Brian had asked him to move in. "No. It's too soon." 

 

All Brian heard was Justin say no. Standing up, he looked at Justin, embarrassment quickly turning to anger. "Fine, Sorry I asked. I thought we had something, but I guess I was wrong. Good thing we found out now before we invested too much time into our so called relationship. I won't bother you again." 

 

Justin watched in shock as Brian slammed out the door without a backward glance. What had just happened? One moment they were sitting contentedly together and the next Brian was slamming out the door. Jumping to his feet, Justin rushed toward the door and took the stairs in hope of reaching Brian. Rushing out the main door of the apartment building, he yelled. "Brian! Brian wait!" 

 

But all he saw was the tail lights of Brian's vette as he sped off. Justin sighed. "Shit. Now what." Slowly he turned around and went back to his apartment. Once inside, he tried to call Brian. First he tried his cell but Brian refused to answer it. Next he called Brian's loft and left a message for him to call him, telling him that they needed to talk about what had happened. Once that was done, Justin knew the only thing he could do was to wait until Brian felt like talking. Walking into the kitchen, he fixed himself a stiff drink, turned off the TV and the lights, and made his way into the bedroom where he downed his drink and stared at the ceiling until finally in the early hours of the morning he fell into a fitful sleep.


	16. Glitter and Shine

Justin looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed. It had been three days since Brian had stormed out of his apartment and he had yet to hear from him. He knew that Brian had thrown a drama queen fit, but surely by now he was over it. So here he was, sitting at this desk mopping, and trying to decide if he should call Brian. Sighing again, Justin rose from his desk and went to send Rebecca to lunch. 

 

Justin had been alone in the gallery for about fifteen minutes when he picked up the phone, only to set it down again without dialing. Feeling slightly frustrated at his lack of action, he thought once again at how he wished he knew what was going on with Brian, but for once it seemed that the family was staying out of it. 

 

Just as soon as he picked up the phone to once again call Brian, someone walked in. Putting the phone down, Justin walked over to the lone figure. "Hello, my name is Justin. Are you looking for something in particular, or can I show you around the gallery?" 

 

Justin tried to keep the surprise and emotion from his face as the man turned to face him. However, he couldn't keep the smile on his face. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Brian sat at his desk staring at the layouts in front of him, but not really seeing them. Instead he was visualizing the night of his and Justin's fight. He realized that he had over reacted and wasn't sure what to do about it. Then again, he did. Getting up from his desk, he sighed grabbing his coat and walked out the door. "Cynthia, if anyone comes looking for me; I'm unavailable and can't be reached. Reschedule all the appointments that I have for the rest of the day. I'll be back maybe later this afternoon, but definitely tomorrow." 

 

Cynthia nodded and smiled at his retreating back. Whatever had been bugging him the past couple of days was about to be fixed. 

 

Brian began going over all the things he could say to Justin as soon as he got in his car, and by the time he reached the gallery, was prepared for what he had come to view as one of the biggest campaigns of his life. 

 

Walking through the front door and into the foyer, he stopped when he heard Justin say, "What are you doing here?" 

 

He was about to reply when someone else spoke. He quickly realized that Justin was talking to someone else and who that someone else was. He decided to stay where he was to give them some privacy, but to also be there if Justin should need him. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

"Hello Justin." Craig said. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Justin asked. 

 

Craig ignored Justin's question and looked around. "Are any of these yours? I read in the paper the review on your show. I understand it went pretty good." 

 

"Oh come on Dad. That was a month ago." Justin said sarcastically. "You didn't just happen to read the review. Mom probably cut it out and showed it to you." 

 

Craig looked down then back up at Justin. "Actually it was Molly. She's very proud of her big brother. She even showed me the program from your show. So how did it go?" 

 

Justin snorted. "What do you care?" 

 

Craig sighed. "I've always cared Justin." 

 

Justin laughed. "Oh really! Is that why you kicked me out when I refused to go back in the closet? Is that why you were never at the hospital when I was bashed? Why you suddenly cut off my tuition? How even after I came to you, showed you how well I was doing, you still refused unless I changed my mind and became what you wanted me to be? Yeah, you cared a lot didn't you." 

 

"Justin." Craig sighed. "I did those things for your own good." 

 

"My own good? I don't think so." Justin said. "You did them for you. It was your way in which to try and control me. To get me to do the things you wanted me to do and you know it." 

 

Craig came up to Justin and put a hand on his shoulder. "Justin, I was trying to prevent you from making terrible mistakes. Look at the man you've become. You're running a gallery, not quite the business I was hoping you'd run but you're still running it, and at the same time indulging yourself in your drawings. And while I still don't approve of your choice in sexual partners, I'm glad that over the past couple of years you have learned to be discreet about it. Thank goodness you got over that arrogant self-centered pervert." 

 

Justin was furious. He couldn't believe his father and quickly shook off his hand. "You are unbelievable. For almost three years you have avoid, ignored, and screwed me every chance you get and now that I'm showing signs of being a success, you show up claiming all the credit and expect me to forget all that? Well I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. You did nothing. It's not because of you but because of that man you call a pervert that I'm the man I am. He's the one that took me in when you threw me out. He's the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams of being an artist." 

 

Craig opened his mouth but Justin stopped him. "No Dad! It's my turn to have my say and your damn well going to be a man and stand there and listen." 

 

Craig stuck his hands in his coat pockets and nodded, looking very grim faced. 

 

Justin continued. "That man was at the hospital every single night. I never knew it until mom let it slip. Then when I got out it was he who took care of me. He's the one who was up nights holding me when the nightmares came. He's the one who tried to help me get my memory back, not you. And yes, before you say anything, he broke my heart. But in doing so, he broke his own. He pushed me away, pushed me toward someone he thought I wanted, who could give me what I thought I wanted. You want to know how much he loved me Dad? I'll tell you. Even after I left him for Ethan, he continued to pay for PIFA. That's how much Dad. He never abandoned me." 

 

Justin took a deep breath. "And while I regret having left him, it was probably the best thing I ever could have done. I didn't love Ethan, but I went to Europe with him, and because of that, I got the greatest chance of my life. You didn't get me into Edinburgh. I did. I got in all on my own due to my talent. It was my talent that got me a full scholarship. Do you know that when Brian found out that I had dropped out of PIFA and was going to go to Edinburgh, he flew all the way over there to make sure that I was okay and helped me get situated when all he wanted to do was ask me to come home. He loved me enough to put my needs above his desires. So who sounds self-centered now Dad?" 

 

Craig shifted uncomfortably as Justin continued. "As for my being discreet, it's kind of hard not to be when you're not even in the country. I bet you loved that. You were able to totally forget that you had a gay son for almost 2 years." 

 

Justin moved closer to Craig and got in his face so that there was no mistaking what he was about to say. "About my running of this gallery and indulging myself in my drawings, let me tell you something. My indulgences have earned me more money in one showing then I could possibly make in six months in just about any business job I would have been placed in coming out of Dartmouth. I'm good Dad, and one day everyone is going to know who Justin Taylor is and want one of my pieces. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." 

 

Justin turned and walked away from Craig. When he reached the reception desk he turned and saw Craig just about to step into the foyer. "Oh and by the way Dad, just so you know, I never stopped loving Brian and he never stopped loving me. We both just needed to grow up a little. Since I've been home, we've been talking and dating. While he doesn't believe in marriage, I hope that one day he will ask me, or accept, when I ask him to be life-partners. So Dad, you decide now. Are you willing to try and accept me and in doing so Brian? Or are you going back to acting as if I don't exist until I see things your way?" 

 

Craig turned, shocked by Justin's revelation that he was back with Brian and that he was planning on spending the rest of his life with him. Craig straightened up and looked indignantly at Justin. "Let me know when you come to your senses about that asshole. Maybe then we can try to work on getting back to the relationship we once had." 

 

Justin returned Craig's look. "If I were you, I'd look at the man you've become. Goodbye Craig. Please don't bother coming in again. You see, my father died a few years ago and I've been doing very well without him. And I'm really not looking to replace him anytime soon." 

 

Craig searched Justin's face and saw that he was totally serious and walked out the door into the foyer. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Craig walked through the foyer and out the door. He didn't see the figure standing to the side as he was too busy thinking over his meeting with Justin. He couldn't believe the way it had gone. He had thought two years away from Pittsburgh and its bad influences would have helped him, but it hadn't. 

 

He didn't even know he was being followed out the door until he was suddenly spun around and a fist connected with his face. Looking up from where he was laying on the ground, he saw who hit him. "What the…" 

 

Brian looked angrily down at the man he had just punched. "Leave Justin alone. You have hurt him more than anyone and he doesn't need it, or you." 

 

Without another word, Brian stepped over Craig and back through the doors into the foyer once more. Pausing, he watched Justin for a few minutes to see how he was. 

 

Justin was standing behind the reception desk working at the computer there. Brian could tell that he was angry from the way he was typing and the set of his mouth. Other then that nothing else was given away. Straightening his coat and tie, Brian entered the gallery. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Justin looked up and sighed when he saw Brian. While he knew they needed to talk, him coming in right after his father was just not a good time. His emotions were high and he wasn't sure if he could remain calm enough during their talk. 

 

Brian heard Justin sigh. "Justin, I don't want you to say anything until I finish. If you stop me I might not say what I need to. Okay?" 

 

Justin nodded but Brian could see the nervousness and worry in his eyes as well as sadness. 

 

Brian took a deep breath and then let it out. "I'm sorry for the way I acted the other night. I heard you say no and took it as you rejecting me. I didn't really listen to the rest of what you had to say. It's just that I'm still fairly new to revealing my feelings much less even admitting them to anyone, even less so myself, and me asking you to move in was like opening myself up. I've never come right out and asked someone to move in with me." 

 

Brian saw Justin's confused look. "Justin, did I ever ask you to move in with me? Think about it." 

 

Justin did think about it and realized that Brian never had asked him. "What about Tristan?" 

 

Brian shrugged his shoulders. "I did ask him, but it was in an off-handed way, and well…I…I didn't care about him like I did you." 

 

Justin nodded his understanding. "And now?" 

 

Brian walked closer to Justin. "Now, I realize that I overreacted and that I still want us to work. I'm willing to wait until you're ready." 

 

Justin let out a sigh of relief and walked around the counter and into Brian's arms. "I'm glad you feel that way because I want us to work as well." 

 

Brian sighed as he wrapped his arms around Justin and bent down to place a kiss on his upturned face. "What time do you get off? Want to go get some dinner?" 

 

Justin laughed. "Definitely, I get off at six." 

 

Brian nodded, "Okay, I'll be here to pick you up then." 

 

Justin sighed as Brian kissed him again. Just when things were starting to heat up they heard someone clear their throat. Breaking slowly apart, they both turned to see a grinning Rebecca. "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm back and Justin you have a client due in about fifteen minutes." 

 

Justin sighed and leaned his head against Brian's chest. "Shit. See you at six?" 

 

Brian laughed. "Yeah, see you at six." 

 

With a quick kiss, Brian left and let Justin get back to work. Justin watched Brian walk out the door and decided that the day had just definitely gotten better, and was looking forward to the make-up sex that he was sure to happen later tonight. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

A Month Later 

 

Justin was excited and couldn't wait to tell Brian his news, but wasn't sure how he would take it. He hoped that when the shock wore off, he'd see it for what it was. An offer, a chance, a decision, a reply, and investment in the future. 

 

When the knock on the door came, Justin answered it, almost bouncing with excitement and nervous energy. "Hi." 

 

Brian laughed. "Hi." 

 

Bending down, he kissed Justin before walking through the door. "What's got you so excited?" 

 

Justin took Brian's hand and led him over to the couch. "Well, I bought something today and I'm really excited about it." 

 

Brian sat down and waited for Justin to tell him his news. "Well, what did you buy, let me see it." 

 

Justin sat down too. "Well… I bought a loft." 

 

Brian tried to keep the smile on his face and be excited for Justin, but was having a hard time doing it. He had thought that over the past month, that he and Justin were moving closer together, and that Justin would soon be moving him with him. He guessed he was wrong. "You bought a loft?" 

 

Justin nodded, smiling brighter. "Yes I did. However, I want it to be surprise when you see it, so I want you to let me blindfold you until we get there. Do you think you can do that?" 

 

Brian, still not happy, nodded his head. "Okay." 

 

Once they got down to the car, Justin blindfolded Brian. He couldn't stop smiling. He knew that Brian was disappointed and that he took this to mean that Justin wouldn't be moving in with him any time soon. 

 

As they drove, Brian thought about Justin and his relationship, trying to figure out what was going wrong. When they got to where Justin's place was, he waited for Justin to help him out. Justin made a big to do over punching in the access code to the building. "Well, I'm glad to see, or should I say hear, that at least it's a secure building." 

 

Justin laughed. "Oh it's that all right. Come on, this way to the elevator." 

 

Brian listened as Justin closed the elevator gates and became curious. They sounded a lot like the gates to his elevator. "So what kind of loft is this Sunshine? One you're going to use for work?" 

 

Justin smiled even though Brian couldn't see him. "Well, that will be one of the things I'll use it for." 

 

Brian sighed. "You're not going to give me anymore clues are you." 

 

Justin laughed. "We're almost there. You'll see it in just a minute." 

 

Just then the elevator stopped and Justin opened the gates. "Come on, this way." 

 

Justin lead Brian over to the door of the loft and stopped him so he could unlock and open the door. One he had it open, he left it open and pulled Brian into the center of the empty room. Reaching up, he untied the blindfold and removed it from Brian's eyes. 

 

Brian blinked a couple of times before his eyes were able to focus clearly on his surroundings. Looking around he noticed the similarities to his loft before he had had it decorated. "Justin? What's going on?" 

 

Justin smiled. "Well, I thought about the times before when we've lived together in your loft, and while I love the loft, it's really not big enough. It's also yours regardless of the fact that you want it to be ours. So, I bought this one. It's the one directly below yours. I though we could convert the two lofts if your willing, into a duplex kind of place that would then be ours. If you're willing that is." 

 

Brian listened to what Justin was saying and smiled. "Well, I don't know. Just what did you have in mind?" 

 

Justin laughed. He knew then that Brian understood what he had said. "Well, I thought that we could cut away a portion of the ceiling here. That way we could look down onto this floor. This one would be our main living area and over here we could put two bedrooms with the bath. One would be for company and the other one could be for Gus. Then over by the windows I'd set up a little studio for me. We'd take out your kitchen and put it down here. Upstairs the bedroom would stay the same as would the bathroom and with the diminished space, we'd leave the rest for a small sitting area and an office for you. What do you think?" 

 

Justin watched Brian nervously as he took in Justin's suggestions for the two lofts. "It sounds like a lot of work and money." 

 

Justin nodded. "Yes, but with both of us working, I think we can do it." 

 

Brian nodded and walked over to where Justin was standing. "It also sounds like if we do this, we're in it for the long haul. Are we in it for the long haul?" 

 

Justin licked his lips nervously. "I…I'd like us to be." 

 

Brian smiled and took Justin's face in his hands. "I think I'd like that too." 

 

Justin couldn't keep his sunshine smile from breaking out as Brian bent down to kiss him. 

 

"So Sunshine, how about we christen your new place before it becomes our new place?" Brian said arching an eyebrow. 

 

Justin smiled and pulled back from Brian. "I was hoping you would feel that way." 

 

Justin walked over to the kitchen and around the island only to come back pulling several cushions. When he saw Brian's look he laughed. "You didn't really think I was going to do it right on the hard floor when it was so easy to have comfort readily available did you?" 

 

Brian laughed as he walked over to the door and closed it before turning back to where Justin was setting up the cushions by the windows. "I guess not." 

 

When Justin straightened up, Brian kissed him again and started to remove Justin's shirt, and he began doing the same to Brian. As they broke apart, they each reached for the other's pants and quickly undid them. Shoving their own pants down and off, they fell on their knees as they resumed kissing. Within moments they were laying down and Brian was reaching for his jeans to retrieve the condom and lube. Leaning down, he kissed Justin again before tearing open the condom and rolling it into place on Justin's cock. When he saw Justin's look, he smiled. "Well, it is your place." 

 

Justin laughed and took the lube from Brian's hand. As he began to prepare Brian, he leaned forward. "Not for long. Then it will be our place." 

 

Placing his cock at Brian's entrance he began to push inside and with a final thrust home said. "Our home." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Over the next few months, Brian lived with Justin while their lofts were being worked on. While it wasn't always easy they managed not to kill each other in the tight cramped space. When the construction was finally complete, it was with giddy relief as they walked through the door of their new home. 

 

That night, as the two men sat together on the couch watching a movie, Brian got up and climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Justin watched him go in confusion but figured that Brian probably just want to take another look. After all, he had done much the same thing several times since they had moved back in, and together they had christened every room of their new home. 

 

When Brian rejoined him on the couch, he didn't think anything of it until Brian got up again. "Brian? What's the matter? Do you want to go out? We can go to Woody's or Babylon if you'd like." 

 

Brian sighed. He knew that it was time but couldn't help his nervousness. Sitting down on the couch beside Justin, he turned to face him and said. "Justin, I…Listen, you know my thoughts on marriage and romance. And while I'm working on the romance, my thoughts of marriage haven't changed any." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a gold band with criss-cross etchings into it. "Justin, would you be my life-partner?" 

 

Justin stared from Brian to the ring and back again. "Brian? I…I" 

 

Brian watched Justin as his eyes filled with tears. "Justin. I know I've never said the words but I…" 

 

Justin placed a hand on Brian's mouth. "I know and you don't have to say them for me." 

 

Brian removed Justin's hand. "I know but I want to. Justin, Sunshine, I love you. I can't imagine my life without you in it, and I don't want to try. So I'm going to ask you once again. Will you be my life-partner?" 

 

Justin couldn't believe it. He studied Brian's face intently and then smiled. "Yes…yes!" 

 

Brian caught Justin has he threw himself at him and laughed with relief. Kissing a soggy Justin, he pushed him back and took his hand, slowly sliding the ring into place and kissing it before looking up at Justin's happy face. "By the way, Happy Anniversary." 

 

Justin's eyes widened at Brian's words. "You…you remember?" 

 

Brian nodded. "Yes, I remember. This is the night that you came back into my life. The night of our first official date and I think this is a night worth celebrating because you have been able to put up with me for a whole year." 

 

Justin laughed. "Yes I have, but in the same instance, you have put up with me for a whole year as well. So what would you like to do to celebrate?" 

 

Brian pulled Justin into his arms. "Anything you want to do." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Twenty Years Later 

 

Brian was retiring. He had notified the board and was now ready to sit back and enjoy the success that he had earned. Twenty years of moving up the corporate ladder, buying out his partner and making his agency one of the biggest and best on the east coast. He was retaining the company, but had created a board of directors in which to run the business. He would be kept up to date on what was going on, but that was it. No more running after accounts, no more daily grind. 

 

At the insistence of his family, on the night of his final day, there was to be a party. Walking through the door of his and Justin's home, he had to laugh when he saw the party layout and Emmett walking toward him in a muumuu. "What is this?!" 

 

Justin walked out wearing a pair of white linen pants and a bright Hawaiian shirt. "Well, if I recall rightly at one point you said that we'd all retire to Palm Springs, wear muumuus and drink mimosas." 

 

Emmett stepped forward and handed Brian a mimosa. "Welcome to Palm Springs!" 

 

Brian took a sip of the drink as Justin took Brian's briefcase. "Is this all you brought home from the office?" 

 

Brian pulled Justin to him and kissed him soundly. "Well, there are a couple of boxes in the car but those can wait." 

 

Justin hugged Brian tightly and took the drink from his hand. "Good. You need to go change. Our guest will be here in an hour." 

 

Brian walked toward the stairs laughing. "Yes dear." He said in a falsetto voice. 

 

Justin and Emmett laughed right along with him as they finished up the final touches for the party. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

The party was in full swing, and everybody was congratulating Brian on his retirement. Justin looked around at the colorful guest. Everyone had taken the invitation to heart and were dressed in Hawaiian shirts and muumuus. Looking over to where Brian was standing, he couldn't help but smile. Justin knew that Brian would refuse to wear a Hawaiian shirt so he had gotten him a white linen suit and a bright red shirt. He looked relaxed and happy. He couldn't believe that it had been twenty years. 

 

Brian turned and met Justin's stare, and at his nod, met him at the foot of the stairs. "So Sunshine, want to sneak away from the party with the guest of honor?" 

 

Justin laughed. "Definitely." 

 

Justin grabbed Brian's hand and led him up the stairs to their bedroom. When they reached the bedroom Justin pushed Brian down onto the bed, but instead of pouncing on him like Brian was expecting, Justin sat down on the bed beside him. "Brian, I wanted to congratulate you privately. That's why no one said anything when we left, and no, I don't mean a quick blowjob either." 

 

Justin looked down nervously. "Brian, as hard as it seems, we've been together twenty years to the day and while we've had our good and bad moments, the good has far outweighed the bad. I love you, more now then I ever have." 

 

Justin reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring that matched the one he had never removed from his hand since Brian had placed it there. "I figured if you were willing, maybe you'd wear this." 

 

Brian looked down at the ring in Justin's hand and then back up. Running a hand down the side if Justin's face, he cupped his chin. "Justin, I love you too. I can't believe that you have put up with me all these years. This is definitely an accomplishment worth celebrating." 

 

Brian held out his hand so that Justin could put the ring on his finger. Once the ring was in place Brian intertwined his fingers with Justin's. "I can't believe it took you twenty years to do this. I thought for sure you would have done it for our second anniversary." 

 

Justin laughed. "I did." 

 

"What!?" Brian asked surprised. "Then why didn't you give it to me?" 

 

Justin cocked his head to the side as he thought about how to answer that. "After I got it, I had every intention of giving it to you, but then I realized that the timing wasn't right. We were still working things out, and even though we were together, you still had a problem with being labeled domesticated. To lose you title of Stud of Liberty Ave. even though you had changed, you still had it in your mind that even though we were in a relationship, if you wore a ring, it would be the final lock to your freedom. 

 

Brian started to refute it, but Justin stopped him. "Brian, think about it, can you honestly tell me that you would have really worn it if I had given it to you back then?" 

 

Brian thought about Justin's answer and shook his head no. "You're right. I wouldn't have. So why now?" 

 

Justin smiled and leaned over to kiss Brian. "Well, to be honest, I put it away and forgot about it. Whenever I remembered it, the times just never felt right. Then when you decided to retire, I suddenly realized that we'd been together for twenty years and knew that no matter what, that if you weren't ready now, you never would be." 

 

Brian shook his head. "Sunshine, what did I ever do to deserve you." 

 

Justin pulled Brian up and kissed him. "Brian, don't you know yet? You didn't do anything but finally allowed yourself to be loved the way you were always meant to be." 

 

Brian bent down to kiss Justin again but when he tried to make it more intense Justin pulled away from him, took his hand and led him back to the party. "Come on, we still have guest to entertain." 

 

Brian and Justin walked hand in hand back to where their friends and family were waiting for them. At first no one noticed that Brian was also wearing a ring and when they did, no one made a big deal out of it, as it was Brian after all, except for Deb who walked over, gave them both a hug and whispered in Brian's ear. "I'm happy for you kiddo." 

 

Brian smirked. "Leave it to you to call a 52 year old man, kiddo." 

 

Justin laughed. "53" 

 

Brian sighed. "Fine, 53 but I haven't been a kid in a long time." 

 

Debbie laughed. "Honey, you'll always be kiddo to me." 

 

Debbie moved off and the party continued. As they watched everyone enjoyed themselves, Brian took a quiet moment and leaned over. "So Sunshine, what are we going to do when you retire."


End file.
